Echoes of the Past
by gizmo8us
Summary: With her marriage falling apart, Casey's past comes back to haunt her when she returns home for a visit and finds something there she hadn't been expecting. C/C of course.
1. Chapter 1

Casey Cartwright-London sat in her perfectly beige, perfectly decorated, extremely spacious office and glared at the computer in front of her. Her mother had sent her yet another e-mail about Thanksgiving. She had already told the woman she was far too busy to make it home. Besides, Adam, her five year old son, was just getting over being sick. It wasn't a good time for her to be traveling. Truth be told, she hadn't been feeling well herself.

If she did manage to make it back to Chicago for the holiday, she would have to turn around and come right back to Washington. She had meetings planned for most of the following Monday.

She wasn't like Rusty. She couldn't drop everything and run off at a moment's notice. She envied his position as an independent contractor for N.A.S.A.. It meant that he could take off and go home for a few days if he wanted.

She, on the other hand, had obligations, commitments. True, the election was over, but the Senator that her campaign had put into office was already rallying her for work with other candidates for the next years campaign trail. Her work wasn't over just because the election had ended. No, in fact, it was just beginning all over again.

That was the price she paid for being the best campaign manager money could buy.

The buzzer on her desk trilled obnoxiously and she stabbed the intercom button with her finger.

" I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed." She fumed.

" I know." Her assistant's voice answered, completely non-plussed by her tone. " But Mr. London is on line one and he says its important. I thought it might be about Adam."

Casey sighed and instantly regretted her outburst. Of course there was a reason that Lauren wasn't honoring her wishes. " Fine, I'm sorry." She told her. " Thank you for letting me know."

She snatched up the phone and pushed the button to connect the line.

" Is Adam okay ?" She asked, before even saying hello.

" Adam is fine." A deep, bass-filled voice assured her. " But I just got off the phone with your mother and apparently we are going to Chicago for Thanksgiving."

She let out a frustrated, groan of exasperation. " I have already told her I couldn't come." She ground out between her clenched teeth.

" Casey, you said you wanted a chance for us to get together so we could go over our plans. You wanted an opportunity to discuss the situation with Adam." He explained patiently and it unnerved her even further.

" I wasn't thinking that my parent's house over the Thanksgiving holiday would be the ideal setting for our divorce discussion." She spat angrily.

" Well, I disagree. I think it would be the perfect place. Its away from everything and we'll have no distractions. Your mother thought it was a brilliant idea." He argued jauntily.

" My mother would agree to bomb D.C. If she thought it would make me run home for the holidays."Casey muttered.

" I want a chance to spend one last holiday with our son together before we have to tell him about the divorce. He isn't going to buy the excuse that I'm out of town much longer, Casey." His voice was still so patient.

" So you want to explain to our five year old over his Thanksgiving turkey that his daddy is living with is secretary now." She bit off.

" I'll see you in Chicago on Wednesday, Casey. You have a lovely week."

She slammed the phone down and buried her head in her hands.

She wasn't sure how long she sat like that, letting her mind roam endlessly down dark paths that she normally didn't allow it to linger in for long. It was easier to keep busy. To keep moving, to not indulge herself in these moments of pondering where her choices had taken her.

She ran a long, manicured fingernail across the grain of the wood in her desk drawer. She wanted to stop herself, to end this bout of self pity and just move on to something else.

But there was a part of her that told her she was being ridiculous. Her five year marriage was ending and not dealing with that fact was only going to make it worse in the end. She needed to grant herself a few moments of indulgence, a few moments to just break down.

Her hand fit over the wooden pull for the drawer and she slowly slid it open, retrieving a thick, paper-clipped set of papers from its recesses.

Her eyes scanned over the black words, not actually seeing them. Instead her memories had already taken her somewhere far away and distant to her now.

She saw Christmas' of the past, many different Christmas mornings, some the best of her life ( Adam's third ) , some the worse ( Adam's first). Halloweens and Easters, Thanksgivings, birthdays and independence days. Celebrations and sorrows. Always the three of them. Always together. Richard and Adam and herself, a family.

And with something as simple as her signature, it would be gone. Twenty-one letters was all it took for her to destroy her family. All she had to do was sign and it was over.

Over like all her other relationships.

She had decided there was something wrong with her. Something broken inside her soul that caused things to always fall apart.

Her chest flipped as she thought about all her past loves, her heart doing a little dance as she conjured a picture of Evan from the recesses of her memories. She grasped hold of the image of his smile with more difficulty than she imagined she'd have. His memory was like a photo ruined by the rain, runny and blurred around the edges. A face she thought she'd never forget now seemed distant and far away.

Max was worse. Of course she hadn't been with him nearly as long as any of the others, but she still placed him along with them in her mind. She had loved him, even if, for a very short time. But he, like Evan was hard to see through the murkiness of the years that separated them. He was fading from her view and she felt as if, maybe if she didn't bring his image to the surface and dust it off occasionally, one day she would find that she couldn't remember him at all.

That thought scared her more than a little. After all, wasn't a person just made up more or less from the memories they carried ? It was the very thing that made everyone unique.

Her mind jumped to a new track entirely and his bright, charming, croaked smile filled her mind without warning. The dazzling blueness of his eyes startled her. Somehow, his image wasn't frayed at all. Cappie was just as clear in her mind as it was the last time she'd seen him. Through the adult image she'd encountered briefly a few years after graduating wasn't the one she remembered.

No, she saw the boy, with his bangs falling into his face, and his quirky grin and his torn blue jeans and t-shirts. She remembered his eyes uncreased and his face as smooth as porcelain under his customary stubble of light, reddish brown beard.

The older image of him came to her finally, the one she'd run into in Chicago three years after she left Cyprus Rhodes. His eyes hadn't seemed as bright to her even on the sunny sidewalk of a windy spring. Subtle lines pinched the skin at the corners of his eyes and his smile hadn't been nearly as light or as bright, even after he recognized her and called her name. She hadn't known him at first, not with the fully grown in goatee and his tie and dress pants.

He wasn't the Cappie was remembered and it was hard for her to merge the two images together. But after a couple of drinks the boy began to emerge and it warmed her heart to know that he hadn't changed completely.

Something about knowing he was still out there in the world, being just as Cappie as he always had been had made it easier for her to continue on her path. It reassured her to know that he still survived.

She had keep an update on everything that was happening with him through Rusty. She tried to seem disinterested and nonchalant when she inquired after him and Rusty always made her ask. He never just volunteered the information. It was like his way of teasing her even through they were grown and well past all that.

Cappie had not had an easy life after CRU and there were many times when she wanted nothing more in the world than to run to him. To find him where ever he was and comfort him in times that she felt he might need her. Like when his father died. Rusty had told her it hit Cappie pretty hard. It was an unexpected thing that no one could have predicted. And apparently it had sent the normally easy going, jovial man into a darkness that caused Casey to cringe when Rusty told her about him.

Alcohol and women had been his drugs of choice. There was nothing unusual in that. It was Cappie's way of coping with every problem in his life. When things became to much for him, those were his crutches.

Just when she was on the verge of demanding Rusty tell her where she could find Cappie the next time she saw him, Rusty told her that Cappie was engaged. Not just engaged, but engaged to Rebeca Logan. The thought made her insides spasm, even after all the years that had passed since the incident.

She heard about the wedding second hand. Rusty had served as an usher and came back with a blow by blow account of the happy occasion. Casey pretended to not be interested in any of them, though secretly she hung on every word and died a little with each detail.

She clearly recalled that, that night had been the night she decided to accept Richard's proposal. She had been putting off making a decision about marrying Richard, until that night. The night Rusty called her and told her all about Cappie's happy event. She didn't know why, but it seemed that even after all those years, he was still influencing the choices she made.

Richard had been wonderful. He swept her off her feet while helping her gain her footing in the world of politics. He was a powerful man in Washington, a political correspondent for ABC, a man everyone knew and respected. He found her while she was still fresh out of school, a brand new face on the politics scene and he formed her, molded her into one of the most sought after campaign managers in the business.

But then, that was what Casey did. She got formed, molded. She was easily influenced and even more easily fooled.

She had believed that Richard had helped her along her way because he wanted to see her realize her dreams, because he wanted her to achieve her goals. She wanted to believe that he had helped her because he loved her. But, as she quickly found out, his real motivations had been entirely self involved.

Of course he wanted to help her. Because helping her got him an inside track to whatever candidate she was working for. The first time she had come home to rant and rave about her candidates misdeeds, only to find the next morning they were headline news, had almost broken her heart.

She had ended their relationship only to find that many of the doors that were open to her career wise, were now closed since his name and byline weren't associated with hers any longer.

Then she found out about Adam. Crawling back to Richard had been one of the most humiliating and painful things she had ever made herself do. But she realized she needed him. She needed his name and his associates, his leverage and his stature. It seemed ironic to her that she hadn't ever considered Evan to be a powerful man. She had never dated him because of who he was, though nearly everyone, including Evan, assumed that was one of her reasons. She had been outraged that anyone had thought so little of her. Now here she was, married to a man that she was with for exactly those reasons.

She tried to remember back to a time when she loved Richard. She knew there was one. Early on in their marriage, because she had managed to convince herself, for a while at least, that she was marrying him because she loved him and because they were going to have a baby. She remembered making herself giddy with happiness over the family that she could call hers. They were married five months before Adam was born. And the birth of their son had changed everything between them.

He put on a good show, convincing her that he loved her and the life they had created. Casey talked herself into believing that he was the perfect man for her. It was easy to dwell on his charm and his brilliant smile and his dark smoldering eyes. He was a beautiful man, so polished and cultured. So strong and mature, wise and confident.

She had been overwhelmed by him and she made Richard and Adam the center of her universe. She adored them both, completely. In her mind, she told herself that her life couldn't be anymore perfect.

Then Rusty appeared and spent a few days with her. Over a cup of coffee while they were by themselves one morning, he told her about Cappie's divorce.

Something changed in her then. Something about the way she looked at Richard became altered. Looking back, she could almost forgive him most of his misdeeds, placing the blame firmly on herself instead. She had, after all, changed, practically overnight.

She no longer had time to be the adoring wife, though she never faltered from being a mother and as Adam grew, their bond solidified even as her marriage became a broken shambles.

She found herself bored by Richard more times than not. His culture and refinement began to grate on her, causing an even wider drift as the months went on. They started arguing over the simplest things. And Casey always felt responsible when the fight ended. It was always her that came running back, begging for forgiveness. Richard was also a stubborn, proud man and admitting he was wrong was something he was just incapable of.

So, in order to bring some peace back to her life, she always caved, always was the one that ran up the white flag and surrendered to his wishes. It wasn't until after a few years of this, that she realized how much each of those surrenders were really costing.

She started to resent him. Every time she found herself sitting at the symphony when all she'd wanted to do was stay home and enjoy a night in, it grew. Every time she found herself at a fancy restaurant that Richard had chosen instead of grabbing a pizza somewhere quiet, it grew. Every time she didn't do something she wanted to do, or missed out on an opportunity she would have enjoyed because he wanted something different, it grew.

Richard, meanwhile, was growing accustomed to getting his way. So accustomed to it that he simply began to expect it. He had long since accepted that she would argue a bit, but he knew from experience, if he just pushed a little, he would win any argument, get his way every time.

She fought against her giggle as it occurred to her that Richard was an overgrown brat.

It wasn't until after a visit from Ashleigh that her eyes had opened to what she had created.

And it all came from a little off-handed comment, not intentionally meant to be life altering or devastating. It was just Ash, being her normal observant self.

She'd pulled Casey aside one night, after Richard and Adam were both tucked into their beds and they were enjoying a quiet moment of catching up. Over a glass of red wine, Ashleigh had leaned close to her and gave her a smile and said, " I've never seen you drink wine before. I didn't think you liked it."

Suddenly, Casey was hauled back nearly ten years to a time in a nearly forgotten place. She and Ashleigh were at Dobler's. It was the first time she'd met Travis, Ashleigh's high school boyfriend. She remembered watching Ashleigh sipping wine and thinking Ash doesn't like wine. God, look at what that man turned her into. Why can't she just stand up for herself ? Why is she letting him push her around like that ?

Casey had immediately jumped up, found an old bottle of margarita mix and adopted a new way of thinking as she and Ashleigh downed the pitcher.

The next morning, despite her hangover, she told Richard that she was changing their plans for the evening. She didn't feel like going to the Opera. She wanted to see a movie and that was what she was going to do. Richard had been taken aback by her sudden change in attitude. At first, he assumed it was another of her little fits and that she would back down eventually. But that night he found himself sitting alone at the Opera, sullen and pouting like a child.

A new pattern began to erupt for them and it involved fighting a lot more than they had before, mostly because Casey no longer caved to his demands. She was no long interested in keeping the peace between them. She had found her long, unused voice and she was flexing its muscle, quiet loudly on more than one occasion.

The thing that really changed for Casey was when she realized that she no longer felt guilty over their fights. It occurred to her that if Richard loved her as much as she loved him, occasionally he would want to make her happy. He'd want to hear her opinion. He'd want to indulge her.

He began to spend less and less time at home, knowing that each new decision, from what to eat to how to go about disciplining their rambunctious three year old, all lead to another fight.

Casey started to see that the images of the man in her mind and the reality of the one in her bed weren't the same and probably never had been. She tried so hard for years to fit him into the mold in her mind and it destroyed her when she realized that it wasn't possible. She wasn't in love with the man he really was. She was in love with the man she wanted him to be, a recreation in her head that had nothing to do with who he was.

Nothing brought that more into focus than when she came home early from a business trip and found him and his secretary in their bed.

Apparently, she learned, the affair had been going on for longer than she wanted to think about. Jill, the shameless, red haired, bitch thought she might be pregnant and Richard wanted a divorce.

He had been planning on telling Casey when she returned two days later.

Casey thought, maybe it was better to have seen the whole thing with her own eyes. Though, the image of his mistress wrapped up in her robe as they sat at the kitchen table discussing everything was one she would never be able to erase from her mind.

Now as the shadows outside her window began to turn darker, heavier, she realized something else.

Even as she tried to muster up some sort of mourning over her ending marriage. She found she just couldn't. Too much had happened between them, there was too much water under the bridge. She was numb. Had been numb for longer than she could remember. She couldn't recall the last time she felt anything real at all.

Everything was a show for her. Every emotion was there because it was what was expected of her. Inside, she felt nothing. She was neither happy nor sad that her marriage was over, it simply was what it was.

The thought that something so monumental in her life ending, left her without a single tear to shed scared her. It made her wonder if she were even human at all anymore. Nothing seemed to matter to her except Adam. He was the one thing that could bring a smile to her face, no matter what else was happening in her life. He was the one thing that made her jump out of bed in the mornings so she could hurry to see his smile. He was the one thing that made her happy, made her life worth living. The one thing that made her feel something more than empty and numb.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and reached for the intercom as it beeped again.

" Yes, " She answered in a much quieter tone this time.

" Your mother is calling for you. Should I tell her you're busy ?" Lauren asked.

" No, put it through and clear the Friday after Thanksgiving for me. I'm going home for the holidays."She announced without enthusiasm.

" I thought you were staying home." Lauren commented, her voice careful.

" I guess I've had a change of plans. I'm going to spend it in Chicago with my family."

Lauren put the call through without anymore comment for the moment, though Casey was sure that her assistant would have plenty to say about the whole situation at some point. Lauren was nothing if not opinionated and Casey considered her friend as well as an assist. So she knew there would be at least some discussion about her plans. Casey was just grateful that she was letting it drop for the time being.

She picked up her receiver and pushed the blinking button on the phone.

" Yes, Mom ?"

" Richard tells me you've changed your mind and you're coming home after all." Her mother gushed. Casey could almost see the smile in her words. And it warmed her heart. She hadn't been intentionally trying to hurt her mother by refusing the invitation.

" Yes, Adam and I will be there on Wednesday night. I'm to make all the arrangements today." She assured her.

" That's wonderful, Casey. I can't wait to see you. Though I do wish it was under better circumstances. Richard says you two are having some trouble and he thought this weekend would do you a world of good."

Casey bit her lip and swore under her breath. Richard had lied. Her first reaction was to clarify the misunderstanding immediately. She didn't want her parents to be under the impression that she and Richard were trying to work things out in their marriage. There was nothing left to work out. It was over. And she wanted them to know that.

But her mother's next words stopped her short.

" Casey, I know you're separated. But I'm really glad you're trying to fix things. I want you to be happy. Richard made you happy at least for a while. I'm really hoping that you can find the answers to fix whatever's broken between you while you're here. Adam deserves the best of everything and having his parents stay together is what's best."

She wanted to argue. To explain to her mother that having his parents stay together even though they hated each other, couldn't possibly be in Adam's best interest.

But the sound of years of her mother's disappointing tones came back to her and she paused even with her mouth open to tell her the truth.

She could wait. She'd wait to tell her parents until after the Holidays. Telling them over the phone was far easier than having to see their disappointment in their eyes.

" I'll see you when we get there, Mom. Is there anything I can bring ?" She asked instead.

" Just bring my grandson and your husband and yourself. I'll have everything else taken care of. Rusty is even bringing a friend along. We should have a house full of people. It'll be just like old times." Her mother was bubbling with excitement at having her scattered family back under one roof.

It made Casey smile and she resolved to herself that she was going to make her mother's holiday the best she could manage. Even if she had to lie a little. Her mother deserved one last Thanksgiving with her whole family together.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, she told herself for the hundred time, I can do this. I can get through a weekend with Richard without fighting with him.

She was still as unconvinced as she was the first time she'd said it. She and Richard were long past the point of being civil to each other.

She was hurt. The kind of hurt that wormed its way into your soul and never let you go. She felt betrayed and unwanted, undesirable and used.

All that was bad enough, but to know that someone she loved, someone she trusted had caused her to feel that way made it so very much worse.

She knew Richard wasn't the only person to blame for their failing marriage. No story only had one side. He had his reasons for his betrayal.

But as she sat there, looking at the newspaper folded out in front of her, his words blaring back at her, she couldn't imagine what she had done to him to deserve what she was seeing.

He had to have gotten the story in the week before her trip. The trip where she'd returned to find him with Jill.

She remembered receiving a phone call on the house phone from her candidate, the man she was working so hard to put into power. A man she felt could do some good in Washington. A man she was actually behind completely.

She had high hopes for Senator Thomas Harrington. Some of her colleagues were even mumbling about a presidency. He had a strong, charming personality that the public seemed to soak up. He was forthright and passionate about his causes. Casey thought her colleagues might be right. She found herself thinking that Senator Harrington would make an excellent president. And the fact that her campaign had gotten him elected to the Senate made her proud.

Until the night of the phone call, three days after the election. She normally didn't take calls about work on her house phone. There were too many ears listening to what was going on around her. And it was far too easy to listen in to conversations best left out of the public eye on the land line.

But she hadn't heard Richard return home that evening and she assumed he was still at work, pushing to meet some deadline and staying late.

The words on the paper she held told her differently. He had been home and he'd heard every word that passed between her and the recently elected Senator.

He'd been contacted by a girl that he'd had a relationship with twenty years before. He was thirty years old at the time and married. The last had made Casey cringe, all her hopes for the man dying before her eyes. But it only got worse, he continued to tell her that the girl had been sixteen at the time of their affair and she had proof to back her accusations. She wanted money. He'd called Casey in a panic, not sure what the news would do to his position, or his future for that matter.

Casey had done her best to reassure them that the matter could be kept out of the public eye. They could deal with it quietly without the press interfering. Obviously the girl was looking for a handout. They could throw some money at her and make her go away.

Casey had found early on that morals had no place in Washington. She had covered up worse things than that for some of her candidates. And she wasn't about to shy away from a chance to work on a presidential campaign in the near future.

Now her words had been reduced to lies. And Senator Harrington would assume that she had voluntarily shared the information with her husband.

It had been her first chance to work on a presidential campaign. She was almost certain that he would have asked her to head it up, before this.

She stared at the words and felt the bitterness of anger nearly overtaking her. Grabbing hold of the ire, she clung to it, satisfied to feel anything at all, even if it was anger.

She pushed the button on the intercom far more harshly than necessary and waited only a moment for Lauren to respond.

" He's already holding for you on line one." She told her before Casey had said a word. " I took the liberty. I figured you'd have some things to discuss after reading the paper."

There was a smug satisfaction in her assistant's voice and Casey smiled at the sound of it.

" Richard, " Casey demanded as she hit the button that connected her. " What the hell are you trying to do to me ? "

" What do you mean ?" He answered, in his 'oh so smooth' voice. " I'm not trying to do anything to you."

" Really ? Because I'm sitting her reading all about Senator Harrington's affair from twenty years ago and I'm wondering where you got that information."

" Not all of my information comes from you, Sweetheart." He told her, blandly.

" But this did." She countered. " You spied on me. Listened into my phone conversation. That's low even for you and I couldn't have imagined you sinking any lower."

He didn't bother to try to dispute her, which only proved to her that she was right. He just chuckled and she could almost hear him leaning back in his chair and resting his feet on the corner of his desk. So cocky, so sure of himself, arrogant.

A sudden image of herself slapping his arrogant smile from his face gave her a small sense of satisfaction.

" I get my stories where ever I can find them." He answered unapologetically.

" You have no ethics." She hissed.

" Let's not get into a discussion of ethics. Weren't you the one that got that man elected in the first place ?" He practically snorted at her.

" I didn't know about this at the time." She answered, though she knew the argument was thin.

" The fact that your candidate was a statutory rapist didn't seem to bother you when you were assuring him you could cover it all up and no one would find out about it. " He told her. " Where was your moral high horse then ? Oh, that must have been it, parked behind your ambitions of getting a president elected."

She sighed, having nothing to say in return. He was right. The Senator had proven himself to be far less than she thought he was, but it wasn't going to stop her from trying to get him elected.

" I thought we'd agreed a while ago that you weren't going to do this anymore." She said finally. " You promised me that all the spying and eavesdropping was over."

" This was too good to pass up. Come on, Casey. I'm only human."

" So, this is how it's going to be now ?" She asked, her heart sinking because she already knew the answer, it was staring back at her in black and white.

" Yeah, I guess it is." He answered, quietly. " I was going to call you anyway." He said, after a short pause. " I know I said I'd call Adam tonight, but Jill and I are going to the ballet. So I'll have to try to catch him tomorrow."

Casey felt the anger instantly reignite. " He's been looking forward to talking to you for two days, Richard. He hasn't heard from you in a week."

" And I'll try to talk to him tomorrow." He answered, ignoring her anger.

" Richard !" She practically shouted into the phone. " How can you do that to him ? I'm telling you, your son misses you and is looking forward to talking to you and you can't be bothered !"

" I know he misses me, but really that isn't my fault. If you weren't being so difficult, I'd still be living at home."

Outrage made her hands shake. " Are you seriously blaming me for your affair ?" She demanded.

" Hey, " She could almost see his shrug. " If I'd been getting what I needed at home, I wouldn't have had to go looking for it somewhere else."

She stared at the phone with an open mouth. He couldn't be serious. " No, you Son of a Bitch, if you were a man you wouldn't have gone looking for it somewhere else."

" Look, I don't have time for this right now. Your Senator's story is bigger than I thought it was going to be. And I have an interview with the girl in about twenty minutes. We can pick this up at your parent's house on Wednesday."

" No, we can't. I will not allow you to ruin my parent's holiday. You are no longer invited." She informed him.

" Oh, yeah, I am. And I'll be there. If you want us to fight and carrying on all weekend, that's your choice. But I am coming to Chicago." he countered.

" Richard, why are you doing this ?" She asked, finally. " Why won't you just let it go? Let Adam and I enjoy our holiday."

" Because whether you believe me or not, that boy is important to me and I want to spend one last holiday with him. Besides, Casey, he isn't stupid. When I'm not there on Thanksgiving, he'll know something is wrong anyway. It's better this way. It's just a few days. I'm sure you can make it without killing me that long."

" I hate you." She spat into the phone.

" Feeling is completely mutual, darling. I'll see you around seven Wednesday night."

" I don't want my parents to know how bad things are between us yet. I need you to help me." She admitted, hating that she had to ask him for anything.

" So you want us to pretend that everything's fine ?" He scoffed. " I'm not sure either of us can pull that off."

" My mother is really looking forward to this holiday. She needs it. If you insist on being there, I need you to help me pretend. Besides we can't destroy Adam's Thanksgiving either. This isn't the time or place for us to talk about the divorce. Will you please, just help me ?"

" What do I get out of it ?" He asked, carefully.

" You get to spend the weekend with your son. If you don't agree to help me, I can see to it that you aren't welcome at all, by any of us." She told him."

He didn't speak for a moment, as if he were considering her words. "I think that sounds like a pretty fair trade. I can manage. Can you ?"

" It will be the best acting job I've ever done." She assured him.

He chuckled for a moment.

Then he was gone and Casey had nothing left but her anger.

* * *

She was beginning to grow accustomed to the fact that her house was empty and dark when she returned home in the evenings. It had taken her some time though. The usual, nagging paranoia was starting to diminish when she first entered the house and flicked on the light right inside the door. Visions she once had of someone jumping out of the darkness and grabbing her, or worse Adam, were beginning to fade. She blamed the movies for the visions to begin with. Nothing had every happened to her personally to cause her to feel tense.

Today, however, not even the ever fading feelings of fear would disturb her. She wouldn't be entering a dark, empty house. She could tell that the moment she pulled her SUV into the driveway and spotted a small white compact parked along the side of the road.

It took her a moment before she recognized the car and figured out who owned it. Then she took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

" Who that, Mama ?" came a quiet voice from over her shoulder as the form of a man emerged from the inset of her front door. He stepped closer before she could speak and Adam let out a squeal and started to rock in his seat. " Uncle Rusty is here ! " He exclaimed, before she had a chance to answer his earlier question.

She reached back to help him unbuckle his seat belt, then she watched as he darted out of the car and into his uncle's outstretched arms.

She gave him a genuine smile after she collected her bags and started into the house.

" Mom said you weren't coming home for Thanksgiving." He informed her with a critical, disproving eye.

" Well, I changed my mind. I'll be there." She shrugged.

" Good, I was afraid I was going to have to insist." He announced. " And by, insist, I mean, of course, grabbing you and forcing you to come home."

They moved into the house, following the trail blazed by Adam as he ran inside and headed straight for the refrigerator.

Casey placed her few grocery bags on the counter as Adam tugged open the heavy door and grabbed a juice box from inside. Then he climbed up onto one of the barstools that sat at the granite-topped center island and shoved the box towards Rusty.

" Open it, Uncle Rusty." he insisted.

Rusty took the box and inserted the straw in the top, then handed it back to the boy.

" Why is it so important to you that I came home this year ?" Casey asked. " Why do you care ?"

" Don't act like that, Case. Of course I care. Just because we don't see that much of each other, doesn't mean I don't care." He told her, taking the stool beside his nephew.

Casey sighed as she unloaded the groceries. " I didn't mean it like that. I know you care. I'm just curious about why its so important to you that I be there this year ?"

He looked away, staring at one of the black and white tiles at their feet. " I know you and R-i-c-h-a-r-d are having problems. I think it would be a good time for you to come home for a break." He spelled her husband's name and glanced towards Adam to see if he noticed.

She laughed sardonically. " Yeah, me too. Unfortunately, he'll be there."

Rusty's eyes widened in surprise. But Casey stopped him before he could say anything else.

" Adam, weren't we just discussing how you were going to clean your room when we got home ?" She asked her son.

" But that was before I knew Uncle Rusty was here." He protested.

" Uncle Rusty will still be here when you finish, I promise and dinner will be ready, too. So go."

He stuck out his bottom lip and looked like he was about to protest, but a glance at Casey changed his mind. And he climbed down from the stool and started to leave the room. Then he paused at the doorway and looked back over his shoulder. " Do you promise to still be here when I finish ?"

Rusty smiled at him and nodded. " I promise. I might even spend the night, if your Mom doesn't care."

" Of course I don't care. You're welcome here any time." She said, waving him off with a flip of her hand.

Adam squealed with delight.

But Rusty put up his hand to stop him. " But I'm only staying if you go clean your room really good."

Without another word, the little boy dashed from the room.

" Don't run in the house !" Casey called after him, though she was sure he was too far away to really hear her.

" Now, why is Richard coming to Thanksgiving dinner ? Aren't you getting a divorce ?" Rusty asked the second the child was out of earshot.

" Yes, we are getting a divorce. Mom invited him. She thinks we can use the weekend to work out our problems and resolve our issues. I guess she thinks the turkey will sedate us enough to forget how much we hate each other." Casey explained as she started dinner.

" Has it gotten that bad ?"

" I found him and his new pregnant girlfriend in our bed about two weeks ago. So, yeah, it's gotten that bad. "

" Wow, Case." was all he said in response.

They were silent for a few minutes while she busied herself with the food preparations.

" You look tired." Rusty commented, breaking the quiet.

She turned to him and eyed him suspiciously. " Everyone keeps telling me that. I feel fine, really."

" Are you okay ? I mean with everything." He asked, quietly.

" Yeah," She nodded. " I'm surprisingly good, actually."

" You don't have to lie to me." He told her.

" I'm not just putting on my brave face. I really am okay. Its time. It's been over for almost two years now. We both knew it. Richard just had the balls to do something about it." She explained.

" Like get a new girlfriend and bring her into your bed ?"

" Yeah, I guess so." She smiled. " Nothing says your marriage is over like finding your husband in your bed with another woman."

She paused for a moment, indicating that it was time to change the subject. " Mom says your bringing a friend to Thanksgiving. I didn't know you had any friends."

He started to laugh, then exclaimed, "Oh, shit," and shot out of the room.

Casey watched him in bewilderment, having no idea what had caused the uproar.

Then a moment later, she heard the front door open and close again. A few minutes later, she heard the same noise.

He came back into the kitchen, panting, struggling to catch his breath. " I forgot. I brought my friend here with me, too. Do you have room for two of us ?"

" Of course I have room and plenty of food, too. Why would you leave your friend waiting in the car in the first place ? That's a little rude, don't you think ?"

" Well...., " he began, then paused and started over. " I wanted a chance to tell you before I just threw him at you out of the blue."

She laughed out loud. " Oh my God, it's Dale, isn't it ? You two are finally coming out of the closet. That's so sweet, Rusty."

He put his hands on his hips and glared at her. " No, it isn't Dale and I'm NOT gay. Just for that, I don't care if I throw him at you or not." He informed her. " Then he called out much louder so he could be heard at the front door. " You can come in."

She knew. The moment she really thought about what was happening, she knew. Maybe she knew the moment he entered the house, like she had some kind of extra sensory perception just for him. But as his footsteps got closer and closer to the doorway, she didn't have a doubt in her mind who would be appearing there any second.

The same face she'd conjured a memory of so clearly only the day before. The one face that stood out even as all the others faded over time.

Her heart hesitated a split second before he rounded the corner. Then she was flying, crossing the expanse of the kitchen in two long steps and propelling herself into his arms with a force that nearly made him stagger.

" Casey," He whispered, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly against him.

" Cappie, " She answered, more grateful than she ever realized she would be, just to be in his arms again.


	3. Chapter 3

She just felt so damned good, so right. After so much time spent apart, he'd almost forgotten how wonderful it felt to hold her. But now that he had her, he couldn't imagine how he had managed to get by.

Five freaking years, Cappie thought as he clutched at her, pulled her as tightly to him as he could possibly manage.

It was too much. The feelings churning around inside him were almost more than he could handle. He felt his eyes water even as he clenched them tightly closed. She was overwhelming him with more emotion than he could process.

So it wasn't even possible for him to let her go when she tried to pull away. It was a half-hearted attempt anyway, easily brushed away by tightening his hold on her.

They stood like that, locked in a stasis all their own, wrapped up in the comfort of just being with each other again, for so long it became awkward.

Rusty cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes darting to everything in the kitchen but the two people in the doorway.

Finally, Cappie let his arm ease from her back and she drifted slowly back into her own personal space. The moment she was out of his arms, he had to fight not to grab her again.

He hadn't come there intending to feel like he was feeling. That wasn't his reasoning behind his trip. He hadn't expected her to just launched herself at him without warning.

There was something to that. Something that told him, she needed him as much as he needed her.

He looked down into her upraised face without speaking for several move awkward moments. Neither of them moved as they stood there in her kitchen doorway, staring, reacquainting themselves with each other's face, coming to terms with the changes both could clearly see.

She looked tired. It was his first thought. She looked so very tired and worn around the edges. There was something pained and hopeless in the bottom-less depths of her green eyes. Something he had never seen there before. It was new and heartbreaking. Life was taking its toil on Casey, it was obvious to anyone who looked at her closely.

He imagined that she could see the same thing staring back at her as she searched the blueness of his eyes. He had lived through too much now for it not to reflect back at her.

" How have you been ?" She asked, her voice trembling with every word.

He reached up a shaking hand and brushed a strand of hair from her shoulder. " I've been better. How about you ?"

" The same." She smiled ironically.

" I had to talk him into coming here with me. He didn't want to trouble you or put you out." Rusty informed his sister over her shoulder.

Her eyes flashed. " How could you possibly imagine that you'd be putting me out ?" Then she was hugging him again and he lost the ability to respond as her tiny body molded to his. " I've missed you so much." She whispered against his neck. " I'm so glad you're here."

He blinked, fighting back tears that once again threaten to fall. "I've missed you, too."

" Uncle Rusty brought a friend !" A small voice exclaimed behind him and he pulled back from her to take in the tiny face that looked up at him, smiling excitedly.

A spray of soft brown hair fell over his brow and he blinked at Cappie from under its curtain. Blue eyes shined with a sort of hidden mischief and intelligent understanding that was far beyond his very few years. There was a little man looking at him expectantly from the face of a boy.

" I'm Adam." The boy announced. " What's your name ?"

" I'm Cappie." He beamed the child a smile.

" Dinner's almost ready. Is your room cleaned ?" Casey asked with her arm still around Cappie's waist.

The little boy nodded enthusiastically.

" Are you sure ? You know I'm going to check." She warned him in a motherly voice that caught Cappie a little off guard, coming from her.

" Well, it's mostly done." Adam reconsidered his answer.

" What does mostly done mean ?" Casey asked, warily.

" I haven't put my clothes away or picked up my toys or made my bed yet." He explained.

" So you haven't done anything ?"

" I'm working on it. But then I heard voices and I had to see if it was Daddy."

Cappie felt her tense beside him and glanced in her direction, but her face showed no sign of duress. "Daddy won't be home till Wednesday. He's meeting us at Grandma and Grandpa's."

Adam shuffled his tiny, sneaker-encased feet and stared down at them. " I know, but I was hoping he got here early. He is still going to call tonight, right ? I want to tell him about school today. It was so much fun."

Cappie watched something play over Casey's face, but it was gone before he had enough of a chance to process it. Then she untangled herself from him and bent down so she was on Adam's eye level.

" I'm not sure if he'll have the chance to call or not. But I talked to him today and he told me to tell you he misses you so much." She informed the little boy who suddenly looked stricken.

He bent down beside Casey and offered the boy a warm smile. " I'm sorry about your dad. I bet he's really important since he's so busy."

Adam jerked his head up and smiled so wide it nearly split his face in half. " He writes for a newspaper."

" Well, since your dad is busy, how about you tell me all about school today ? Your Uncle Rusty and I would love to hear all about it."

Adam took a deep breath as if he were about to launch into every detail of his day, but Casey put her hand on his lips to stop him. " Room first. Then you can tell us about it at dinner."

" Okay." He answered and then he was gone in a flash of white sneakers.

Casey stood back up, laying her hand on Cappie's shoulder for support as he came back to his full height as well. " Thank you." She told him.

He looked at her questioningly.

" Richard is with his girlfriend tonight. Said he was too busy to call. Adam's been looking forward to talking to him for days now."

There was a tightness in her eyes that made his stomach flop. He pulled her into his side and rested his head on top of hers. " I'm sorry, Case."

She shook her head against his chest. " It'll be okay. We'll get it all figured out."

" I hope so." He answered, holding her still.

Finally, she pulled away reluctantly and went back to stir something in a pan on the stove.

" Cappie is coming with me this weekend." Rusty announced.

" I hope that's okay. I don't want to be in anyone's way." Cappie interjected.

She spun towards him and her eyes flashed again. " Would you stop that ? Of course, you aren't in anyone's way. I'm just glad your the one he's bringing. I was worried it might be Dale."

Rusty made a squeak of protest. " Dale is my friend."

" And he's my stalker. "

Cappie laughed as he watched the siblings bicker back and forth over the virtues and evils of Rusty's freshman year roommate. Cappie had always thought the guy was a little creepy, as well. So he was definitely on Casey's side of the argument.

" So, Richard is coming for sure." Rusty said, finally letting the matter of Dale drop because he was losing, Dale really was a little weird.

Casey nodded. " That's what he tells me."

" Where is he, Casey ? What's going on ?" Rusty settled himself on the barstool closest to her and Cappie came to the one to its left.

" We are using this weekend to discuss our divorce agreement." She announced.

" Mom said you were trying to work things out." He stated.

" Yeah, and she's going to continue to think so until after Thanksgiving." She turned towards them both and leveled them with her best ' serious Casey' face. " You have to promise me that neither of you will tell her any differently."

Cappie nodded without hesitation. If she didn't want her mother to know, it wasn't his business to tell her anything.

Rusty shifted uncomfortably. " You're going to lie to her all weekend ?"

" Yes, I am. You should have heard her on the phone, Russ. She was so excited and happy. I can't ruin her Holiday. If that means I have to lie to her, then I'll lie."

" What about him ? Is he going to go along with all this ?"

" He says he wants to spend one last holiday as a family. He doesn't want Adam to know yet." She told him.

" So you're going to lie to both of them ?"

She put her heads on her hips and her expression hardened. " I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to make sure everyone has a happy Thanksgiving."

She was still standing in the same stance when Adam reentered the room.

" Wow, Uncle Rusty, what did you do ? That's the look Mommy gives me when I'm bad." He said.

Casey dropped her hands to her sides and very nearly doubled over with laughter. Cappie joined her. Rusty laughed his way over to his nephew and picked him up.

" She is pretty scary when she looks like that, huh ?" Rusty asked as he came back to the stool with the boy on his lap.

Adam's eyes widened in surprise. " You have no idea." He muttered, with a solemn and meaningful shake of his head, inciting another round of laughter.

* * *

Adam absolutely adored being the center of attention. It was obvious as the dinner conversation revolved around him and his day at school. He was learning about sharks and by the time dinner was over and everyone was leaning back in their padded, royal blue, velvet covered dining chair, Cappie felt as if he were an expert on the subject.

He was delightful. So smart and funny. So very much like Casey, with just an edge of Rusty and a hint of something else. Cappie imagined that something else must be his father, though he had never met the man.

He tried to picture what he must be like. This Richard that Adam thought hung the moon. The same one that had obviously hurt Casey more than she was willing to admit.

He leaned forward and propped his chin in his hands as he watched her carefully. He was looking for a sign, something to tell him she wasn't nearly as alright as she proclaimed to be.

There was the drawn look in her eyes. It hadn't diminished at all as the evening wore on, instead becoming more and more pronounced. But there was more. She didn't smile as easily as she once did. Didn't laugh as loudly. Her eyes looked dull and empty as she stared off into space during the lulls in the conversation.

If he hadn't been him and she hadn't been her, he might have missed the subtleness of the changes in her. She was working very hard to hide it all.

But he was him and she was her and he saw it. He saw every little nuance she possessed. He noticed even the most seemingly hidden change in her. He noticed because being hyper aware of Casey was ingrained in his soul.

He wasn't aware of it most of the time. It didn't seem odd to him that Rusty and Casey were sitting an equal distance away from him, yet he could smell Casey's perfume, even across the table. He couldn't smell Rusty's cologne, but he could smell her perfume. It wasn't strange to him that her voice sounded so much clearer and more defined in his ears than either Adam's or Rusty's voice. Or that he could plainly see the steady, even pattern of her chest rising and falling as she breathed.

It just was what it was. It was the way he saw her, the way his mind always, from the moment he first noticed her, perceived her. He couldn't explain his hyper alert awareness of her. It was natural, not something he considered or thought about for the most part. He only considered it now because it amazed him that even ever five years without using that particular sense, it was still as sharp and focused as it always had been.

" So what have you been doing with yourself ?" She asked, drawing him out of his inner musings with the weight of her eyes.

He leaned back and shrugged. " I've been here and there. You know, doing this and that."

She laughed. " Can you be a little more vague ? You sound like my employers. I bet I could get you elected for something."

" It's been a long and bumpy five years." He answered with a chuckle of his own.

" Okay, what brings you to our humble home for Thanksgiving ?" She retorted

He hesitated, not sure how to answer her. Not sure how much he wanted to revel about his life. " You wouldn't really understand without the back story." He finally said, " But long story short, I wasn't planning on celebrating Thanksgiving this year and when Rusty heard that, he insisted I come along." He held up his hand to hide his lips from Rusty and whispered, loud enough for him to hear anyway, " You know how he gets sometimes."

She laughed, but her eyes told him very plainly that she was not letting it drop at that for long. But thankfully she placed her attention on Rusty and let him off the hook for the moment.

He almost sighed in relief.

They talked about Rusty's job and a girl at his office that he thought he liked. He was the exact same Rusty he had always been. Life hadn't changed him even a little. Still awkward and unsure of himself, unable to talk to women, brilliant beyond words and unashamed of it.

It made Cappie happy to be around him, grateful to know that there was something untouched and still innocent about him. He didn't want to ever see his friend's eyes look back at him with the kind of exhaustion that shone in both his own and Casey's. He didn't want Rusty to ever have to experience the kind of hurt and pain that brought on that exhaustion.

* * *

The quiet of a house settling down for the night had always disturbed him. It made him feel trapped and restless, instead of tired or sleepy. The end of all the talking and activity as everyone found their separate rooms and closed their doors behind them was unsettling for him. It made him nervous.

He would have thought that all the time he'd spent alone during his childhood would have made him more comfortable with the concept, but somehow the opposite was true.

Cappie went to his door and opened it as quietly as possible, slipping out of the room and tiptoeing down the hall to keep from disturbing anyone else.

He went quietly down the stairs and slipped out the front door just as silently.

He wasn't entirely sure where he was going or why for that matter. He just needed some space, some fresh air. He needed to be away from her for a minute. Three doors down as apparently closer than he could handle. He'd been fighting his instinct to seek her out since the moment he heard her tell Adam goodnight. He had hoped that time away from her would have quelled his need to be near her.

He had even managed to tuck her memory away in his mind. It no longer haunted him every waking second. Now it was curbed enough that it only found him during periods of idolness.

He wondered what it would be like to live in a world where he wasn't drowning in her all the time. And world where her image didn't plague him every time he closed his eyes.

He had never managed to fight off his subconsciousness's need to remind him of her whenever he slept. Yes, there was still, even after all the time that had passes, there was still not a night that went by that he didn't fall asleep with her in his arms.

It was one of the things that ended his marriage, his inability to let Casey go. Rebeca had somehow found out that he ran into Casey while in Chicago on business and her insecurity had never been able to recover from the event.

Cappie wondered what would have happened to Rebeca if she had known what really took place in Chicago.

His mind drifted back to the night he had found Casey as he exited his cab outside of his hotel.

But before it could go any further into the memory, he heard movement behind him and realized that the door was opening.

He turned from his seat on the top step of her porch, craning his neck in order to look behind him.  
He expected to find Rusty there.

His heart leaped into his throat when he found her standing there instead.


	4. Chapter 4

She yanked her pale pink robe tighter around her in a vain attempt to hide herself from him. She hadn't expected him to be there. She thought she would find Rusty instead. She wanted to talk to him and it was their tradition, back when her marriage was whole and working.

When Rusty visited, she would sneak out after everyone was asleep to meet him on the steps for a few moments alone. A few moments for them both to be able to say what they were really thinking, to give each other the hard advice that was difficult to hear in the presence of others.

Casey figured right at the moment, the hard advice would do her some good.

" Case, " Cappie acknowledged as he raised his long form from the step and turned to her completely.

" I'm sorry." She muttered. " I didn't mean to disturb you. I thought you were Rusty."

He smiled brightly. " Now that's a new one. I don't think I've ever been mistaken for Spitter."

She closed the door behind her and ventured a step closer to him. " It's kinda our thing when he visits."

Cappie leaned back against the black wrought iron railing of the porch. " I can go get him, if you prefer."

She considered that for the briefest of moments. She wasn't sure she really wanted to air out all her dirty laundry to Cappie. She wasn't certain she could be as honest with him as she would have been with her brother.

But just the thought of spending time so near him propelled her to his side where she perched herself on the top step. Then she looked up at him and smiled warmly. " Of course not, I think you'll do just fine."

He settled himself beside her, his leg so close it brushed against hers, the denim against her bare skin was heavy and scratchy and very very warm.

" It's been a while." She commented, keeping her tone light and easy.

" Yeah, " He agreed readily. " It has been."

" You ready to tell me what's been going on with you yet ?" Her curiosity since dinner was driving her insane. She knew he was purposely dodging her questions at dinner.

" No," He sighed heavily. " Not really."

She laughed quietly. " Can I have a hint ?"

" It hasn't been a great five years. You know, same old story, life's hard and things happen." He hedged again. " But tell me about you."

She shrugged. " There isn't much to tell that I'm sure Rusty hasn't told you about."

" So work is good ?" He prompted.

" Work is great. It's one of the few things in my life that is working like its supposed to. Oh, at least it was until I found out that my candidate that I was hoping to help into the White House turned out to be a sleazy statutory rapist."

" I'm sorry." He answered sympathetically. " What are you going to do now ? Are you still going to work on his campaign ?"

" After the stunt Richard pulled with his article, I doubt I'd be considered an asset to his campaign anymore."

" Believe me, I know how hard politics can be. My father-in-law was always trying to get us more involved in his world." He answered. " We fought him every step of the way. Rebeca and I aren't really political material."

She glanced at his face for a moment, looking for something to cross his eyes when he mentioned his ex-wife, but nothing showed, on the outside at least. " I think you're wrong. I think you are exactly what the political world needs. An honest man who knows how to have a good time. Yeah, " She smiled, " I think we could stand a few hundred of you."

He didn't respond to that, choosing instead to find a place out in the yard to focus on. They were silent for a while, neither of them moving or speaking as they let themselves enjoy just being together.

" What brings you to the steps tonight ?" He asked finally, shifting slightly closer to her as the wind picked up and brought with it a chill to the air.

" I wanted to talk to Rusty about Richard. How about you ? Why aren't you all tucked into bed ?"

She glanced at his face again, watching as several emotions played over his features. They finally rested on apologetic and he gave her a lopsided smile.

There was a time when she could tell exactly what he was thinking without having to ask, just by looking in his eyes. But his eyes were different now, harder, less blue, no sparkle left. The thought saddened her and she wondered what he had been through that caused that change.

" I just couldn't sleep." He replied finally. " Thought some fresh air might help."

He straightened, squaring his shoulder and put his hand on her leg. " But enough about me." He smiled. " What's the problem with Richard ? Maybe I can help since I'm here in Rusty's place and apparently that's what he does."

She laughed quietly, still undecided about telling him all her problems.

He sensed that hesitation and squeezed her leg gently. " There was a time when you could have told me anything. Nothing's changed. I'm still me, you're still you. Whatever you need to say, just say it."

" I hate him." She uttered finally, finding a spot some distance away herself to focus on. " I'm not someone who hates other people. I might dislike them, but I don't hate others."

" What's he done to cause this intensity of emotion ?" He asked, moving his hand from her leg to around behind her where it came to rest on the stone step.

She wished for a crazy, unthinking second that he would just pull her against him and hold her.

" Everything." She answered eventually. " He's done everything I could possibly imagine one person doing to another in a marriage."

" Do you love him ?" He asked quietly, searching her face for the real answer.

" I just told you, I hate him." She quipped quickly.

He chuckled. " One does not necessary preclude the other."

The silence grew between them as she considered his question carefully. Then finally she glanced over at him, and for a moment her breath caught at the beautiful perfection of his profile in the moonlight.

" I did once. I'm pretty sure I did anyway." She said finally.

" You're pretty sure you did ?" He chuckled.

" Before Chicago, I was certain. After that, everything was confused and muddled somehow." She tried to explain, but the right words just evaded her.

He nodded as if it all made perfect sense. " I can understand. We have a way of muddling up each others lives, don't we ?"

" What does that mean ? Are we bad for each other ? Or good ? I can't figure it out." She asked in frustration.

" I don't know either. Seems like I see things clearer when you're around." He shrugged, " I'm still not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing."

She turned to him and searched his eyes for a moment. " Surely, that has to be a good thing, right ? Seeing things clearer."

He sighed and leaned even closer to her, letting his body heat infiltrate her skin and drive away the chilly air. " Sometimes life is easier when you see it through rose colored glasses."

" It might be easier. But its a lie. An illusion. Sooner or later, illusions get shattered." She answered, trying her best to keep the pain from her voice.

He looked down at her, searching her eyes. " I'm so sorry, Case. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy."

" I'm sorry, too. Obviously life hasn't really gone your way either."

He held her eyes for several long drawn out seconds. And she caught the motion of his tongue snaking out to wet his lips quickly.

She breath caught and unconsciously leaned even closer to him, totally lost in the thought that any moment he would close the remaining distance between them and just kiss her. She realized that it was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to feel him again. Having him so close after so long was torture without it. His body was solid and comforting where it rested against her. The arm behind her became something protective and reassuring. He hadn't moved an inch, but something in his face had caused her perception of the situation to change.

They were no longer just two old friends catching up after a time spent apart. Suddenly they were old lovers, away from each other for far too long and craving each other's touch so much it was almost painful.

The emotional part of her brain, screamed at her to just do it, to lean in and take what she wanted so badly. But the logical part held her in place. What would kissing him mean ? Where would it lead ? Was she strong enough to lose him again ?

So many questions moved through her brain so quickly she couldn't keep up and it startled her when he pulled a ways back from her so he could take in her entire face.

" What are you thinking ?" He whispered and she noticed he was still so close she could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips.

" I'm wondering what all this means and where it's going to go ?" She answered truthfully after swallowing hard.

He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from her shoulder, securing it behind her back and leaving his hand resting on her shoulder blade. " That's my Casey." He gave her a rueful smile. " Always so concerned with the future and the underlying meaning of everything."

She smiled back in return. " And there's my Cappie, never concerned for the future or worried about the consequences of his actions."

" The reckless, carefree fool and the grounded, responsible beauty. Its the story of our lives." He mused.

She laughed, feeling the truth of his words tearing at her heart all the while. They were so different, so completely opposite. Night and day. How could they have possibly thought they could be together ? How was it possible that everything had been so great between them all those years ago ?

Was it lust and attraction that tied them so tightly together they felt they couldn't breath without the other one ? Or was there something more ?

" You're still thinking so hard I can almost see smoke coming out of your ears." He told her with a genuine smile that lit up his entire face.

" There's just so much to think about. I have so many questions. So many worries." She explained.

He leaned back, taking himself out of her space along with the warmth of his body and a shiver ran through her. She hadn't meant for that to happen.

" I didn't come here to add to those worries. That wasn't my intention at all. I just missed you so badly. I wanted to see you." He slumped against the iron railing. " Maybe I was being selfish, as usual and I made a mistake. I shouldn't have come."

His words jolted her and she put her hand on his knee and squeezed it tightly. " Cappie, please don't think that. I've missed you, too. You have no idea how much. I'm so glad you're here."

He shook his head. " My timing is bad. Your life is too complicated already, with your job and work. I just made it harder. It would have been easier if I'd stayed away. Easier on both of us."

" Easier how ?" She asked in confusion.

" Easier because if I hadn't come, I wouldn't be fighting against myself to keep from doing what I so badly want to do and you wouldn't be thinking so hard about how you're going to react when I lose the battle." he said. Telling her that kissing her was something inevitable, unavoidable. Something he wouldn't be able to fight against for long.

He was warning her, in his own way. Telling her that if she didn't get up and go inside it was going to happen and she would just have to deal with that. He was giving her a chance to back away, to flee to the safety of her room and leave him just as she'd found him.

She wasn't really sure how she managed to get through the few minutes it took her to make the decision in her head.

Thank God, it didn't take long. As soon as the thought was locked into her brain, she launched herself at him and lost herself in the breath of surprise that escaped from his lips and she claimed them with her own.


	5. Chapter 5

Time seemed to crawl suddenly, flowing backwards instead of forward as Cappie pressed her small, almost fragile-seeming, body closer to him. He was lost, thrown back in time seven years to a moment when the feel of her in his arms was natural and normal and sadly, not appreciated near enough.

He gasped as she slid her hands under the hem of his shirt, her cold hands burning the skin of his back. She pushed against him, trying to bring herself as close to him as possible. He helped by yanking her so tightly into his chest he couldn't breath and relishing in the feel of her breasts pressing into his ribs. She was still so little against him, her body seemed entirely breakable in his grasp.

The chill in the air was non-existent now as he felt beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. Turning slightly, bartering for a better angle, he let his hands fall to her waist and in doing so, inadvertently slipped inside her robe. He thought he felt her shudder as his fingertips brushed the bare skin of her stomach, then realized it was him that was shaking. Shaking the way he always did when she was in his arms, trembling so hard his teeth were almost chattering. His heart pounded in his chest so loudly he was certain she could hear it as well.

Then something happened that had never happened before. A tiny, far-off voice in the back of his mind, tugging against his subconscious. A voice he had never heard before.

Years, the voice said, it took you years to get to the point where she wasn't all you thought about anymore. Years to move on, to forget the way she felt in your arms.

He tried to ignore it, push it away and pretend he couldn't hear the words that were repeating themselves over and over in his mind. But it was too hard, the voice just kept getting louder the longer he held her, until it was impossible to ignore any longer.

He felt like a junkie falling off the wagon after years of recovery. Would this one little slip make him have to start all over ? Was this all it took for him to become completely addicted to her all over again?

No, being near her was enough for him to be hooked again. Coming had been a mistake. He should have stayed away. Something that felt this good could not be good for you.

And he knew if he didn't stop it now, he might never find himself again. He might just lose himself in her forever this time.

He felt like a lunatic as he thought silently, would that be so bad ? Losing himself in her for the rest of his life. But the other voice argued louder, reminding him that it could never work. Too different, too much time, too much pain.

Casey let out a tiny whimper as he pulled away from her and held her back, looking intently into her eyes.

" I think maybe we should go to our separate corners and regroup." He answered the unspoken question in her eyes.

" What ? " She whispered, her voice shaky and unsure.

He dropped his hands from her, because even that much contact was more than his willpower could endure. Then he moved away, separating himself from her, putting as much distance between them as he could. When that still wasn't enough to make him coherent, he stood and took a few steps down the walk.

" I just don't want to do anything we'll regret later." He tried to explain.

She nodded, staring down at her pink slippers, refusing to give him her eyes. But the look on her face was one of rejection and hurt. She honestly looked like she was about to cry.  
He pulled his hand roughly through his hair, and had an errant thought about how he needed a trim. It was a desperate attempt to not think too hard about what was happening. He knew, if she cried, it was over. There would be no holding himself back. He had never been able to handle seeing her cry.

" I'm going to go back to bed." She whispered quietly as she made to stand up.

" Case, wait." He tried to stop her. " This isn't about you. It's me."

She turned back to him and gave him a forced smile. " Its okay, Cap. You're right. I never, ever want to be something you regret."

Then she was gone, shutting the door behind her with a little more force than necessary.

Fuck, he thought as he stared after her.

She would not run, she reminded herself over and over again as she made her way as quickly as possible up the stairs and into her room. Running would be childish and it would let him see how much he had hurt her. She wasn't about to let him see that.

So she walked, quickly, but still walked, head held high and shoulders squared.

If he didn't want her, she could handle that. Rejection, insecurity and vulnerability were all concepts her marriage had made her a pro at dealing with.

She couldn't count the times she had put herself out there, revealing her feelings or desires to Richard, only to be laughed at or rebuffed.

This wasn't so very different, she told herself.

But it was. And she knew it. That was an illusion she couldn't even manage to form. It was different because it was Cappie. HER Cappie, and he had all but told her he no longer wanted her. She had finally driven away the one man that once told her, he would always want her.

She blinked her eyes rapidly as she finally came to her bedroom door and slipped inside silently, so as not to wake anyone else in the house.

She pushed the tiny button on the door that locked it and leaned against its cool, hardness, unconsciously listening for him to follow her. She didn't realize until that moment that it was exactly what she was expecting. He was suppose to follow her. To come find her and tell her it was all a mistake and he was a fool for ever thinking about pushing her away.

That's what he always did. They argued. She stormed away. He came after her and apologized, telling her how it was all his fault.

But the footsteps didn't come this time. There was no sound outside her door. He wasn't coming.

Things had changed, she reminded herself. They were different people now and all their old patterns were gone. Different times, different people.

She wondered for a moment how things worked when he and Rebeca had a fight. Did he do the same thing for her that he'd always done with Casey ? Did he charge after her and beg her forgiveness ? She didn't like to think about Cappie begging Rebeca for anything. She didn't like to think about Cappie being with Rebeca at all.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost missed the footsteps, almost didn't hear the light tapping at her door.

He had come after all. Maybe they weren't so different. Maybe something of their younger selves remained steady and unchanged.

She eased the door opened and held it out, expecting to see him there, but finding Rusty instead.

" What are you doing here ?" She asked, confused by his sudden appearance at her door.

" I was looking for you. I went to the steps, but you weren't there. So I figured I'd just come to you." He eyed her disappointed face for a moment before shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Who were you expecting ?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone. Especially since I'm in my bedroom, dressed for bed."

His gazed traveled from her feet to her face and he gave her a lopsided, classic Rusty smile. " And you're wearing a robe and slippers. So you're not really all that ready for bed."

She huffed and ushered him into the room. Then she went to her bed and crawled into the center of it. " Okay, I went downstairs looking for you, but you weren't there. So I came back."

" That's all that happened ?" He asked, settling himself at the foot of the bed.

" What are you, a cop ?" She jabbed. " This is my house and I can go where ever I want in it."

" It's just that I noticed Cappie's light was on, so I know he isn't asleep. I was wondering if maybe you ran into him along your way."

She watched him carefully for a few moments. " Well, okay, maybe I did run into him for a few minutes."

" Did he seem okay to you ?" He perked up immediately.

" He seemed fine. Why wouldn't he ?"

" He's going through some stuff right now. That's why I invited him home with me."

She sat up a little straighter and looked him in the eye. " What kind of stuff ?"

" If he didn't tell you about it, I'm not sure it's my place to." He answered, evasively.

She huffed again. Sometimes, Rusty really annoyed her. " Look, Cappie could be dying and he wouldn't say anything if he thought it might bring everyone else down. Now tell me what's going on. Maybe I can help."

He chuckled quietly. " He isn't dying and you can't help with this."

" Rusty," She replied insistently. " Tell me what's going on."

He heaved a heavy sigh. " Okay, but if he gets mad, this is all your fault. You made me tell you."

She nodded in approval.

" Cappie just found out that he has a daughter and he's spent the last few months looking for her, but it's been hard. And so far the investigation is going nowhere." He told her so quickly his words began to run together at the end.

She had no idea how she'd managed to make any sense out it at all.

" He has a daughter he didn't know about ? By who ? When did this happen ? How old is she ?" The questions were coming faster than she could keep up with them.

" Okay," he held his hands out to stop her barrage. " This is a long story and you should probably get the rest of the details from him."

" Yeah, " Cappie's voice said from the half opened door. " Maybe you should."


	6. Chapter 6

" I'm sorry, Cap." Rusty said immediately standing from the bed and turning towards his friend. "She made me tell her."

Casey rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at him. " God, you are such a tattletale."

He knocked the pillow away and shrugged. " I'm going. I've already heard this story. You two need some time alone."

He went to the door and paused, putting his hand on Cappie's shoulder. " You aren't the only one that's had bad things happen. Maybe you can be there for each other."

" I didn't want to do this." Cappie answered quietly, narrowing his eyes at Rusty.

" I know, But I also knew she wasn't going to let it go. So talk. It'll be okay."

He squeezed his shoulder, then brushed past him, closing the door behind him with a quiet click.

Cappie ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

" Well," Casey prompted, patting the bed beside her.

He hesitated. " I'm not sure that's a good idea." He told her with a weary grin.

She made a crossing motion over her heart. " I promise not to attack you. Cross my heart."

" I'm not so sure about myself." He muttered, walking slowly to the bed and slumping down on the edge. His shoulders sagged and his face looked tired, bone-tired and so emotionally pained, Casey almost went back on her promise and grabbed him to her.

" Rebeca and I were married for five years." He began, his voice slow and cautious as if he were deciding how much he really wanted her to know. " We tried to have children. We tried everything. But it never happened and no one could figure out why. We saw doctors. We saw specialist. Hell, at my mother's insistence, we even saw Gurus."

Casey nodded and reached out to take his hand.

" At first it was just Rebeca's idea. She wanted children. I was okay with it being just the two of us. But soon enough it became some kind of obsession. It started to take over our entire lives. It was all we talked about, all we worried about." He continued. "I thought I was indulging her. Trying to make her happy. Then one day, I was sitting at the doctor's office, waiting on her to get finished and this little boy came bounding up to me and called me Daddy." His smile was wistful as she watched the memory play through his eyes. "Of course, he was mistaken, but that one little word made something explode in my chest."

He looked away and chuckled at himself. " Wow, that sounds corny even to me."

"No," she shook her head. " The first time Adam called me Mommy, it was like my whole world became colorized and everything before that was black and white. I understand."

" Everything changed after that day. I wasn't just going through all that for Rebeca. I realized that I wanted a baby as much as she did. We worked even harder, followed every piece of advice we got. All the doctors could tell us was that nothing was wrong with me and nothing was wrong with her." He shrugged. " About a month later, I found out that there actually was something wrong with her."

Casey blinked at him in surprise. " Was she infertile after all ?"

" Well, the diaphragm she was using helped her with being so infertile." He announced.

" I don't understand. You said she was the one that started the whole thing. I thought she wanted a baby. Why was she using a diaphragm ?"

He stood up and started pacing while wringing his hands together. " Three years, Casey. For three years she kept me glued to her side every waking moment over this baby thing."

" She was faking the whole thing for attention ?" Casey asked, appalled by the idea.

He stopped pacing and nodded. " One night, she was in a car accident. It wasn't really serious, just a few bumps and bruises, but I had to go into her purse to find her I.D. And insurance card and I found the diaphragm while I was looking."

Casey sat back and stared at him, unsure of what to say. " My God, Cappie." was all that came out of her mouth.

" Yeah, that was my reaction, too." His smile held no humor. " Well no, my reaction was to strangle her. But since I didn't really want to go to jail. I decided to leave instead."

" Okay, but what does all this have to do with you having a daughter ?" She asked as he settled back down beside her.

" Right after we got married, some girl from school tried to track me down. She found Rebeca instead and Rebeca paid her off. Told her to go away and never come back. Apparently, she took her at her word, because no one can find her now." He shrugged.

" But wait, how do you know about it if Rebeca paid her off behind your back ?"

He laughed sardonically. " In a last ditch attempt to keep me with her, she told me and said we could find the girl and the baby and take her to raise as our own."

" God, Cappie, she really is crazy."

" You have no idea." He shook his head slowly. " Her plan was to rip this little girl away from her mother. She's nine now, my daughter, name's Emily. And she's out there somewhere."

" What are you doing to find her ? What have you tried ?" She asked as her arms tightened around him.

" Everything I could think of. I've followed every lead, I've hired investigators, I've tired everything. I even went to Beaver, he's a state trooper now and had him run the girl's name through his computers."

" Rusty's tried through the computer, right ?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

" Yeah, that's why I showed up at his doorstep when I did. We still have nothing to go on." He nodded, solemnly.

She let him go and sat back. " You don't have any leads ? Nothing ?"

He laced his fingers together and folded them in his lap. " Nothing. Her parents haven't seen or heard from her. She's got no criminal record or Beaver would have found it. She isn't anywhere on the computer or Rusty would have found her. I don't know where else to look."

She thought for a moment. " Maybe I can help." She said finally, after thinking about it for a long while.

" How ?"

" Richard is an investigative reporter. He has resources we don't. When he wants someone found, he finds them." She explained.

" No," He shook his head. " You and Richard aren't exactly on the best terms right now. I couldn't you ask to ask him for a favor."

" I'm not asking him for a favor. I'm offering him a negotiating term." She told him as she reached for her phone.

" I told you I couldn't talk to Adam tonight." Richard snapped as soon as the phone connected.

" I'm not asking you to, though you should be ashamed of yourself. He asked about you earlier." Casey said into the receiver.

" What do you want, Casey ? I'm busy." he snapped in retaliation.

" I need someone found." She answered in a calm even voice as she ignored his tone.

" You want a favor ? Are you really asking me for a favor ?"

" No, I'm telling you that I need your assistance in a small matter. I would appreciate your cooperation."

He laughed sharply. " Why would I give you my cooperation ? I don't owe you anything."

She laughed back just as sharply. " Oh, come on now, you know that isn't true. But if you won't do it for me, do it for Adam. Because right now, I can't see any reason to go to Chicago unless I have information to pick up while I'm there."

" You're using our son to bribe me into helping you ? That's low even for you."

" I learned from the best, Richard. Now will I be boarding a plane in three days or should I just use my holiday weekend to look for this girl myself ?"

" A girl ?" he scoffed. " Is this another of your Congressman's conquests ? How old was this one, thirteen, fourteen ?"

She sighed and let her eyes find Cappie's where they locked and held steady. " No, Richard, there is no story here for you. This has nothing to do with my professional life. This is personal."

" So there's nothing in it for me, huh ? Is this your idea of making me a tempting offer, cause you aren't very good at it."

" I really thought you were being sincere when you said you wanted to spend Thanksgiving with Adam." She returned.

" You really aren't coming to Chicago if I won't do this for you ?" He asked, suddenly much more interested in their conversation.

" That's what I'm saying, Richard." She answered firmly.

He sighed into the receiver. " What the name ?"

She raised her eyebrows at Cappie. " What's her name ?"

" Jenner, Emily Jenner. Her mother's name is Pam." Cappie answered with much brighter eyes.

Casey relayed the information to Richard and hung up quickly.

" It's done. He'll do what he can." She told him.

His smile finally reached his eyes. " You are amazing."

She rolled her eyes. " I know."

He shifted slightly and then stood. " I guess I should let you get to bed. Its late."

" Wait," She stopped him before he could turn to leave. " Outside, when you pulled away from me," She started cautiously.

He held up his hand to stop her. " I told you, it wasn't about you. Its never about you."

" Then exactly what is it about ?"

He cast his eyes down to the plush, beige carpet at his feet before raising them back to hers. She caught the briefest hint of the boy he once was, the Cappie she knew so well. " You have no idea what you do to me." He confessed.

She sat back, breaking their eye contact. " I wasn't trying to do anything to you." She answered quietly.

" You don't have to try. Being around you is enough. You don't know what my life was like after Chicago. You don't understand." He told her, sitting back down beside her.

" I do know." She whispered and he jerked his head towards hers so quickly it startled her. " It took me months to forget about you again."

" Long, miserable months." He agreed.

" That has to mean something." She said, coming closer to him.

" What does it have to mean, Casey ? That I'm in love with you ? I've known that for a very long time. Nine years I've known that. That we aren't good for each other ? I've realized that, too. We're like a couple of junkies in need of a fix, but it never works for very long and the recover time is too much. I think its best if we just try to not fall off the wagon again."

" Why can't we make it work for very long ? What's wrong with us ?" She hated the nearly desperate tone of her voice.

" We can't make it work because we are so very different. We're fire and ice, Case. Night and day. Opposite ends of the spectrum. There isn't anything wrong with us apart. But together we're a mess."

" It doesn't have to be that way." She answered, putting her arm on his shoulder and squeezing it.

" But it IS that way and there is nothing we can do to change who we are."

" Then that's it. We just fight against what we both want because its too hard for us to be together ?"

" Is that what you really want ? You want us to try to be together ?" He asked, adjusting on the bed so that he was looking into her eyes.

" Maybe." She answered in a small voice as she avoided his eyes.

" We don't even know each other anymore. Seven years is a very long time to be apart."

She moved her hand from his shoulder to the center of his chest. " It doesn't change who we really are. Not in here. We're still the same Cappie and Casey that loved each other so much in school."

" No, we aren't. " He shook his head and put his hand over hers. " We've been through a lifetime of pain and hurt in those seven years. It changes people."

A soft knock at her door caused them both to turn towards it. " Come in." Casey called out, just loud enough to be heard outside.

A tiny head poked around the opening door. " I heard voices. I thought maybe Daddy was home." Adam said as he came into the room and immediately crawled into Casey's lap.

" No, Baby. Daddy isn't home. I'm sorry we woke you up though."

" You didn't. I had to go to the bathroom and when I passed by I heard you talking." He answered as he snuggled into her chest, resting his little head on her breast.

" You want me to take you back to bed ?" She asked, as she stroked his chestnut brown hair.

" Can I just sit here with you for a minute ?" He answered, his eyes already heavy again.

" Sure, Sweetie, you can sit here with us."

" Actually, I was just heading to bed myself. I'll let you to have some alone time." Cappie said, standing from the bed and turning towards the door.

" Don't go." Adam said, stopping him and making him turn back to them.

" You want me to stay ?" He asked.

Adam nodded and Cappie automatically sat back down. " Okay, I'll stay."

" Did you tell Cappie that Daddy will be at Grandma's house for Thanksgiving ?" Adam asked.

" Yes, Baby. I told him. He's very excited to meet your Daddy."

" K, I'm just going to sit here and think for a minute. You can go back to talking about whatever you were talking about." He told them as his eyes drooped.

Casey continued to stroke his hair as she started to hum softly.

Cappie was awestruck as he sat watching her with the little boy in her arms. She had never looked more beautiful and he felt a twinge in his chest as her low, dulcet tones lulled Adam back to sleep.

This could have been his family. Adam could have been his. Casey could have been his. She still wanted to be his. She had said as much.

But how long could it last ? It was impossible and now there was a child to consider. A small life that was already going to have to suffer through the pain of losing his father. How would Adam feel if they tried to make it work and found out they couldn't, again. How many times did they have to travel down the same path and reach the same ending before they finally figured out that it wasn't a good path for them ?

As much as he loved Casey, and he did, more than he had ever loved anyone in his life, he knew the harsh reality of the truth was, they couldn't be together. They had tried and failed. He couldn't fail her again. He could go through the pain again. This time might just kill him. He'd already suffered so much and he had to concentrate on his daughter. That was his priority.

Casey smiled down at her sleeping son and began to struggle with her burden towards the side of the bed.

Cappie reached out and touched her arm, stilling her. " Can I take him back to his bed for you ?" He whispered.

" Of course." She whispered back as she opened her arms for him to remove the boy.

Cappie gently pried his tiny fingers from his mothers robe and pulled him into his chest, jostling him as little as possible. When he finally had him settled, he raised up and turned towards the door.

Casey got up and opened it for him, following him into the hallway and opening Adam's door as well.

Once Cappie had him tucked into his blankets, Casey leaned over and kissed him tenderly.

Adam shifted and snuggled down deeper into his Spiderman comforter.

" You're a natural." Casey told him as they came back into the hall.

" I've already missed so much of Emily's life." he said, distractedly.

" We'll find her, Cappie. I promise, we'll find her."


	7. Chapter 7

_She was cold, so very cold it didn't seem as if she would ever manage to get warm again. Her bones ached from the frigidness that surrounded her and she clamped her teeth together forcibly to keep them from chattering. _

_Snuggling deeper into the blankets didn't seem to help at all. Nothing helped. It shouldn't be this cold. On instinct, she reached her hand out, her fingers fumbling through the layers of blankets as they sought out his body heat._

_Her fingers nudged against something and she immediately let her hand wrap around a solid, warm bicep. She moved closer to it, seeking out the heat radiating from the other side of the bed. Her leg found his and she draped hers over it as her entire body melted into his. One muscular arm snaked out and pulled her even further into him and she came willingly, desperate for the warmth that only he could make her feel. _

_Eyes still closed and mind still shrouded in sleep, she felt his hot breath brush against her face a mere moment before his lips were covering her. His arms wrapped around her, splaying over her back and following a trail along her spine. She ached herself into him, burying her breasts into his chest and ignoring the tickling of the course hair that dusted his torso. Something about that wasn't right, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. Her mind was far to occupied with the sensations he was arousing in her to care. _

_But that was off as well. Normally, it took far more than a kiss from Richard to make her pulse thump so violently in her chest. Usually the feel of his hands on her skins wasn't enough to make the heat pool in her core like it was at the moment. _

_She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so needy, so wanton and overcome with passion. _

_The thought was barely complete in her mind when it was answered. Yes, she did remember. She remember exactly the last time she had wanted someone as bad as she did at the moment. _

_Chicago. _

Her eyes snapped opened and she blinked rapidly, trying to remove the last visages of sleep from her muddled brain.

She had no idea why sleep was so elusive to her. She felt exhausted. Her body ached with the tension her muscles had endured throughout her long day. Sleep should be easy. Normally all she had to do was close her eyes and she tumbled right over the edge.

She wondered for a moment if it was possible that it was Cappie's sudden reappearance that was causing her restlessness.

Of course it is, stupid, she told herself. Talking to herself had become a habit in the last few months. She figured that if she was talking to herself, at least one person was paying attention to what she was saying.

She grabbed the fluffy blankets and pulled them over her head. God, that sounded self-pitying and pathetic even to her.

She wouldn't let that man reduce her to this ridiculous person. She couldn't. She was Casey Cartwright, damn it ! She was powerful and independent, confident and capable. There was nothing she couldn't do, nothing she couldn't handle. And she refused to let Richard London take that away from her.

He was trying. She could feel it. He worked at her confidence, had been for months, like a rat gnawing away at her self respect and assurance. He had been doing that for the last couple of years, actually. Making her doubt herself, making her feel as if her opinions and decisions weren't good enough. As if SHE wasn't good enough.

Well, she was good enough. She was plenty good enough.

And, she jumped up and grabbed her robe, she was going to prove it. Because, the only way she was going to sleep, she realized, was in Cappie's arms, where she wanted to be.

Tiptoeing as quietly as possible to keep from waking anyone else, she moved to the door right next to hers and tapped it lightly. When she got no answer, she tried the knob and it twisted in her hand.

Easing inside, she blinked, trying to adjust to the sudden darkness of the room.

When she could see again, she smiled at the sight before her.

He was sitting up, his bare back resting against the oak headboard. His hair was slightly mused as if he had been pulling his hands through it. It wasn't as long as it had been all those years ago, and for a moment she missed the bangs that once hung in his face, nearly covering his eye. She missed the way he used to watch her from under that veil of hair, all the while, pretending like he wasn't looking. He was always watching her when they were together. For some reason unknown to her, she fascinated him. She asked him about it once and he told her that he just had to keep looking at he, reminding himself that she was really there with him. At the time, she thought it was a line, one of the classic Cappie lines, meant to get her undressed as quickly as possible. But later, after they broke up and he still watched her every time they came into contact with each other, she wondered how much had been a line and how much had been the truth.

There were so many times when he would say something, or do something, so sweet, so enduring, so nakedly, emotionally raw. She had never really thought much about them at the time. He was Cappie, just being Cappie, the class clown, the stand up comedian. It was hard to take him seriously, to think of him seriously when he made it a point to keep everyone laughing.

That was his game. His trick was to keep the laughs coming so you wouldn't take the serious side of him too seriously. Unfortunately, his game back fired more often than not. No one ever took Cappie very seriously, even when he was baring his soul.

His blue eyes were watching her again, this time without the curtain of brown between them. It was just him, staring at her so intently she felt like fidgeting. His piercing gaze made her uncomfortable.

His mouth was set in a firm line, framed by the trim, well kept, reddish brown goatee that covered the lower part of his face. She still wasn't sure what to think of the facial hair. It made him look so different, so mature and grown up. It was hard to reconcile the man before her with the boy she once knew.

He didn't move, not an inch. His breath was even and steady. His fingers, resting on top of the blankets over his thighs, didn't so much as twitch.

She had no idea what to say to him. How to explain why she was sneaking into his room at two o'clock in the morning, especially after the rejection she had gotten only hours before.

She suddenly felt desperate, like she was throwing herself at him after he'd already said he wasn't interested.

Maybe she hadn't thought the whole plan all the way through. But there was no escaping it now, not without causing a scene or at least some tension between them.

If she left without a word, it would be like he was rejecting her all over again.

She opened her mouth, trying to think of something, anything to say. But nothing came out and she felt like an even bigger moron.

Then, still without breaking the silence in the room, he shifted and drew the blankets back, giving her an inviting look as he slid down into the bed.

She shrugged off her robe quickly and took his invitation, sinking in beside him and not knowing what to expect next.

He didn't reach for her. Didn't pull her into his warmth like she hoped, he just watched her. As if he were waiting for her to make a move before deciding his own.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to get her thoughts together. She felt she needed to say something, explain the reason behind her sudden presence. But again, the words wouldn't come to her. She couldn't think clearly. Couldn't make sense of the jumble her brain was in.

" How did you know ?" She asked finally, her voice shaky and hesitant.

" How did I know what ?" His was steady and firm as it rumbled from his chest.

" That I was going to come in here. You looked like you were expecting me when I came in." She tried to explain.

" I knew," He whispered as he leaned in closer. " Because I've been laying here for hours wanting to do the same thing. Every time I close my eyes, all I can think about is Chicago and how much I've missed you."

Then he was kissing her, kissing her like he had all those years ago, reawakening in her all the feelings that she had locked away for so long she hardly remembered them any more. His tongue grazed the roof of her mouth and she sighed into him. He swallowed the sound as he left her lips and made of trail of fire over her jawline, pausing long enough to suck her earlobe until she groaned, then continuing on to her collarbone.

She was lost, immersed in her memories of the way he could always make her feel. The way she hadn't felt in five, long, barren years. Every nerve ending in her body suddenly came to life and she groaned as if they had taken over her voice in a yawn of renewal.

Her back arched as she tried to get as close to him as possible and she was, so close that not a breath of space separated them, still it wasn't enough. She wanted to be closer yet, to merge with him until she forgot anything else existed.

His lips and tongue and teeth were helping her do just that as they played over her skin, taking in every inch of her body, leaving no place unexploded as he re-familiarized himself with all of her.

The world faded and time slipped away, years and distance suddenly became meaningless as she let herself be carried away on the wave of emotions he was creating inside her.

She had come to him looking to prove something to herself. To remind herself she was still desirable, still wanted, but now she found herself taken away on a ride she hadn't meant to step onto.

As she clutched at his shoulders and begged him with her lips on his skin, skin that tasted so wonderfully delicious, she knew she had started something that neither of them was strong enough to fight against.

And now that it had begun there would be no containing it. It was exactly what he had been battling on the steps when he pulled away from her. He had found the strength once. But she knew now that neither of them could walk away any longer.

Her hand brushed his bare back, stoking up his spine and causing him to shiver into her. Their chests both rose and fell in heavy pants as they struggling to find air to sustain them.

It felt as if all the oxygen had been sucked from the room, the breathes that she drew in weren't enough and her lungs burned with need.

But the rest of her body burned with a different kind of need, a need that over road her lungs' desires, a need that over road everything else. Her fingernails scratched his flesh and he flinched slightly before arching back into it, as if seeking out the pain she accidentally caused him.

He threw his head back and groaned when she did it again, relishing in the sharpness of the feeling. She seized the opportunity and quickly latched onto to his throat, drawing noises from him that were so primal and raw her entire body hummed with the sound.

Their clothes were gone without either of them knowing how. A rip of material and a slash of cloth and there was nothing else between them.

Flesh scraped against flesh, sending new sensations to long dead nerves. They heaved against each other, the rough hair that covered his chest rasped against her nipples and the feel was so delicious she was drowning in it.

His hands locked over her wrists pinning them to the bed as he hovered over her, still tasting her, devouring her in a fire so hot she felt like she was burning from the inside.

She could feel him, throbbing insistently against her thigh and she shifted her hips, grinding into him and causing him to cry out in desperation.

Eyes locked together, gazes held tight by emotions neither of them had felt in far too long, he moved into her and they both gasped instantaneously. Like the entire Earth shattering around them, they settled, both too afraid to move, afraid to break the spell that had them enthralled.

Not Chicago, not Cyprus Rhodes, never had she felt anything akin to what she was feeling. The power that held her, pulled her into him, pulled him deeper into her, was stronger than anything she had ever encountered. It consumed her, scorched her, tore her apart with longing and desire.

She no longer felt numb, dead inside. All at once, the world came into focus and everything colorized and came to life.

She closed her eyes, breaking his hold on her hands and dug them into his hair as he began to sway within her. A gentle rocking motion that was so far from the urgent pulsing that drove her that she cried out and pushed her hips into his, spurring him into a harder, more frantic pace.

When it still wasn't enough, she shifted, pushing at his shoulder until he found himself under her. His hands moved to cover her breasts and he pinched her nipples, sending electricity through her whole being.

She began to rock, grinding into him with each downward motion.

Soon, his hands found her hips, steadying her and holding on with bruising intensity. Looking down, she found him with his head thrown back and his eyes closed, a look of utter concentration furrowing his brow as he tried to contain his desire, hold his emotions in check as long as possible.

But again, the desire was stronger than either of them and as she ground into him one last time, she grabbed his shoulders, falling forward as she pulled him into her climax.

The last thing she remembered before the world faded away was him biting into her shoulder to keep from screaming out loud.

She woke to the sound of the clock ticking, a constant, steady, ceaseless beat that lulled her. She shifted slowly as she realized that the clock by her bed was digital and didn't make a ticking sound as it kept time. Her leg brushed against a warm, coarsely covered limb and her eyes instantly snapped opened as her unfamiliar surroundings came into focus.

There was a hand running listlessly through her hair, the rise and fall of a chest under her head, the sound of a heart beating mimicking the noise of a clock.

She made to raise up, but the hand not in her hair held her steady, soothing her back into relaxation.

Then she inhaled deeply and stilled. The unmistakable aroma that she found chased all her uneasy away as the memories of the night flooded into her sluggish, sleep-muddled brain.

" Cappie," She whispered, his name falling from her lips on a sigh.

" Don't move." He answered. " Just stay a little longer."

She shifted slightly but only so that she could see his face. " I'm not going anywhere." She assured him.

His arm relaxed on her back and rested its weight lightly on her shoulder. His other hand still played through her hair, drawing the long, blond locks through his fingers. He had always been fixated on her hair. Something she had never understood, but right then, she relished in the comfort of the movement.

In college, they would lay, just as they were now, for hours, pretending that nothing else existed besides them. In his bed, in the wee hours before dawn, they could imagine that there was no Greek life tugging at them, no classwork pressing down on their shoulders, no life outside of the two of them.

" So what happens now ?" He asked, so quietly she would have missed it if she hadn't been draped over his chest as she was.

" I don't know." was her honest answer. " I hadn't really planned that far ahead."

He chuckled. The vibrations tingled through her exhausted body. " I must be rubbing off on you."

He shifted, turning slightly and pulling her into the croak of his arm with an ease that gave testament to the strength of his arms as they rippled against her skin.

She started to tell him that she wanted nothing more than for him to stay with her forever. She wanted to tell him to just hold her and never let her go again. But something in his face held her back and she remained silent, waiting on him to guide her with his own thoughts.

" I have no idea where to go from here." He told her, so solemnly that she felt tears prickly at the corners of her eyes. " But I have to be honest with you." He sighed as if steeling himself for something unpleasant. " I have never felt anything like that. Not even when we were together before. This was different somehow."

She let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding, as relief flooded into her. Her hand came up to cradle his face as she leaned forward and kissed him gently.

He took her hand and held it softly in his own, surrounding it completely. " I'm just not sure how I fit into your life now. If this was just a repeat of Chicago, a fond trip down memory lane, before we go about our own way again, tell me now."

She remembered that night in Chicago all too clearly. The intensity of the feelings he evoked in her as they renewed all the old emotions between them was almost enough to make her to walk away from everything she had built in D.C.. But waking to almost simultaneous ringing phones had jolted them both back to reality as Rebeca and Richard intruded on their respite, reminding them both of what they had to lose. The decision to go their own way, to walk away and never look back was mutual, though she always felt as if, had she given even the slightest hint at hesitation, he would have turned his back on everything and followed her anywhere.

" There is no one waiting on either of us now. Nothing holding us back from being together." He continued. " If we decided to walk away this time, we have no one to blame but ourselves."

She considered his words carefully. He was absolutely right on all counts. They had no holds on them now. She couldn't remember the last time they were both single at the same time. It had been so long ago. It seemed their entire life had somehow turned into them staring at each other as someone else held them. They were always passing ships in the night. A light, fluffy flirtation that never went any further or a soul wrecking, regret that completely consumed them. Not since Freshman year in college had they really tried to have a relationship. She wondered if it was even possible.

He must have mistaken her pause for hesitation because his eyes fell and he began to pull away from her.

But she grabbed his arm, stilling him before he could move further. " Wait." She whispered. " I'm not sure what I want anymore. I have been through so much. You've been through so much. It seems like we have the weight of the world in emotional baggage between us. But I want to try this."

" I'm not sure I can ' try', Casey." He answered.

" What does that mean ?"

" It means that I've never stopped loving you, never stopped thinking about you. You're like some kind of drug for me. I'm an addict." He tried to explain. " And right now, my focus should be on my daughter. Its too easy for me to get wrapped up in you and forget everything else."

He sighed and the desperate, finality of the sound made tears threaten again. " What are you saying ? Are you telling me that this was just a fond trip down memory lane for you ?" She asked, trying hard not to grab him to keep him beside her.

" No, it isn't that. This was so much more than that. I'm just not sure where my search for Emily is going to take me. But I can't give it up. I have to find her."

" Of course you do." She answered. " And I'm going to help you. We will find her, Cappie. I promise you, we will."

" You sound so certain. I wish I could believe it, too."

" I'll prove it to you. I'll make you believe it, too." She told him, pulling him back into her arms. "You'll see."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: okay so I'm moving things around a little here. The orignal chapter seven will now be chapter eight. Apparently I messed up and mixed them up. So this is the correct chapter 7, but the good news is for those of you who have been asking, I will be updating this story again. **

"Now you have to put in milk. Mommy says that's what makes them fluffy." Adam's small voice drifted towards as Casey stepped off the last of the stairs and turned towards the kitchen where it was coming from.

"Do you know who taught your Mommy that?" She heard Cappie ask.

"Who?"

"I did, a long, long time ago," he answered.

"You knew Mommy a long, long time ago?" her son replied as she made her way down the hall.

"I've known your Mommy for a very long time."

"Why haven't you ever come to see her before?" Adam asked. Casey could see him, sitting on a bar stool on his knees, peering over the counter into a bowl that Cappie was whisking rapidly.

"I've been busy." Cappie told the little boy as he glanced up and found Casey watching him.

"I wonder when Uncle Rusty is going to get up," Adam pondered.

"I'm sure he'll be up soon," Cappie answered, still watching her.

Casey shook her head, motioning for him to pretend she wasn't there as she crept up behind her son. As soon as she was in reach, she grabbed him from behind and yanked his small body into her chest, spinning him around in a circle and eliciting a squeal of delight in response.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked once she put him down again. "You were supposed to sleep in since you don't have school today."

"The birds woke me up and I found Mr. Cappie and now he's making us breakfast," Adam explained.

Casey watched as Cappie poured his frothy yellow mixture into a pan that was already heating on the stove.

The eggs began to give off a wonderful aroma almost as soon as they hit the heat and she couldn't help but smile. It was their thing. It had been their thing, in college, freshman year – Omelets. Cappie had taught her how to make them. She had never been much of a cook before Cappie came into her life. Now she considered herself an okay cook. She wasn't Julia Childes, but she could manage to feed her family. But for some reason she never made omelets. She just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"Mr. Cappie is making amulets. I told him I've never had one. Have I, Mommy?" Adam asked her, peering at her from under his blanket of bangs.

"Omelets," she corrected, taking the stool next to her son. "And no, you've never had one."

Cappie tsked at her over his shoulder. "And you call yourself a good mother."

Casey picked up a grape from the fruit bowl on the bar and threw it at him.

It hit him in the shoulder and tumbled off only to roll under the cabinet.

He tossed a look over his shoulder and she gave him a warning glare before he flipped her the finger. It would have been so like him. He wasn't used to having children around watching him.

He just smiled in returned and grabbed the spatula he already had out so he could flip the eggs.

"So, what do you want in your omelet, big man?" he asked, turning his attention to Adam.

"Marshmallows!" Adam exclaimed immediately.

"How about cheese and ham?" Casey amended. "I know you think marshmallows taste good in everything, but they don't. Trust me."

She got up from the stool and went to the fridge to retrieve the rest of the ingredients.

"We were going to surprise you with breakfast in bed," Cappie commented. "I don't remember you being a morning person. We weren't expecting you up for a while still."

"Adam turned me into one. Now it's habit," she smiled as they danced around each other while cooking.

"I turned you into what?" Adam asked, looking up from the orange Casey had peeled and placed in front of him.

"A person that gets up early in the morning," she answered as the toast popped up.

"What is going on in here?" A new voice interrupted them and they all turned to look in his direction.

Rusty was running his hand through his disheveled hair and trying to rub the sleep from his eyes at the same time.

"We're making breakfast, Uncle Rusty. Do you want marshmallows in your eggs?"

Rusty blinked quizzically and rubbed his eyes again. "Marshmallows?"

"No one is having marshmallows in their eggs," Casey said firmly.

Adam crossed his little arms over his chest and frowned. "I still think it would be good."

The phone in Casey's purse trilled loudly and she went to it immediately.

Glancing at the caller I.D., she sighed inwardly before pressing the talk button. Then she stepped quickly out of the room. "Tell me you found out something," she said without preamble.

"I found out that you're very anxious for me to find out something." Richard told her again with that smugness to his voice that was ever present.

"Can you not be an asshole for five minutes and tell me what you want without all the bullshit?" she demanded.

"Wow, someone is grouchy this morning. Sounds to me like someone needs to get laid," he chuckled.

"Fuck you, Richard. What do you want?"

"I want to know where my son is."

"You're calling to talk to Adam?" She was so stunned she wasn't able to keep it out of her voice.

"Don't act like that," he retorted, quickly.

"Did you do what I asked you to do?" she countered.

"Are you saying that if I didn't, I don't get to talk to Adam?"

"I wouldn't do that to Adam. He likes you for some reason. Now answer me."

She heard him sigh through the line just as a hand came to land on her shoulder. She jerked around in surprise and found Rusty standing there looking at her in concern.

"Is everything alright?" He mouthed so he couldn't be heard.

She nodded. "Everything is fine. Richard wants to talk to Adam. Can you get him?"

"Who are you talking to?" Richard demanded. "Don't tell me I'm wrong and you have been getting laid."

"My sex life is none of your business and that was my brother," she answered. "Now tell me."

"Are you still going to come to Thanksgiving?"

"Yes, I'll still be there. I told you I would," she assured him.

"I have a lead," he confirmed.

"What kind of lead? And how did you do that so fast?"

"I know people, who know people. Come on, Casey this is what I do," he chuckled again.

"Fine. What's the lead?"

"Let me see if it pans out first."

"I'll see if it pans out myself."

"You're going to investigate this yourself?" He laughed out loud this time.

"I have help, but yeah. If you can do it can't be that hard," she quipped.

"You know, you used to be such a nice girl. What happened to turn you into such a bitch?" He wanted to know.

"You did, Sweetheart. You deserve all the credit."

She wanted to say more but the sound of little feet scampering towards her cut off anymore jibs. She would not argue in front of Adam. He didn't need to know how much his parents hated each other.

"Alright. Here's what I found out. I got the social security number for the mother and had a buddy run it down for me. Last known place of employment was some dive cafe in the middle of nowhere, Texas."

"Is that the official town name?"

"No, the town's officially called Burgess," he answered ignoring her sarcasm.

"Burgess, Texas. Do you have the name of the diner?"

"Little hole in the wall," He answered again.

"Come on, Richard. Adam is here and I need to go."

" No, really. It's called the 'Little hole in the wall diner' in Burgess, Texas."

" Alright." She turned and handed the phone to Adam who was bouncing up and down excitedly behind her.

"Are you coming home soon, Daddy?" he asked as soon as he had it in his hand.

Casey's eye caught movement at the end of the hall and she took off towards him as Cappie poked his head from the kitchen doorway to see where everyone had gone.

"We have a lead." She told him.

His eyes lit up immediately and his smile was once again the bright one that he once wore so often. "Already?"

"Yeah, I told you, Richard is good at what he does."

"Mr. Cappie is making us breakfast." She heard Adam saying and turned back towards him quickly. She wasn't sure how Richard would react to learning that Rusty wasn't her only guest.

Sure enough a few moment's later, Adam was saying goodbye and handing the phone back to her. She almost just hung it up until she saw the disappointment on her son's face.

"Daddy isn't coming home until Thanksgiving," he announced sadly. "He's far away working on a story."

But before she had a chance, Cappie held out his hand and Adam took it. "Your omelet is ready and maybe while your Mommy isn't looking we can try it with marshmallows."

She shot a look of exasperation at him as they left her alone with the phone.

"I thought we said everything we needed to say," she spat out as soon as the phone was to her ear.

"I hear your brother brought a friend with him," Richard answered.

"It's really not any of your business," she replied coolly.

"The great and powerful Cappie has returned and it isn't any of my business?" he returned. "Last I heard you are still my wife."

"Really? What would Jill think about this sudden burst of possessiveness?"

"This has nothing to do with Jill and everything to do with you moving a new man into my house before it's even had a chance to get cold yet." She could hear the strains of anger creeping into his tone.

"Richard, I need you to listen to me very carefully now because this is important." She paused to give him time to give her his full attention. "This is not your house anymore. I'm not your wife anymore and what I do in my house and who I do it with are not your concerns anymore."

Then she hung up the phone and jabbed into the pocket of her robe.

It had been a long time since breakfast wasn't a hurried chaotic affair that Casey rushed through on her way out the door to start the day. She couldn't remember the last time she sat sipping leisurely at a cup of coffee while she casually browsed the morning paper.

Adam was sitting to one side of her, more playing with his remaining eggs than really eating them. He had started out attacking them with gusto. But the enthusiasm had died as he became full.

Rusty was just finishing his own plate and he got up from her other side and took it to the sink to rinse it off.

"Leave them. I'll do the dishes in a little while." She told him, before he really had a chance.

"Are you sure ? I didn't come here for you to look after me."

She laughed. "Says the man with a bag of laundry as big as he is in the trunk of his car."

He turned to her in shock. "How did you know that ?"

She sighed tiredly. "You always bring your laundry when you visit. I think it doesn't get done unless Mom or I do it."

Cappie chuckled quietly into his own cup of coffee.

"What are you laughing at ?" Rusty demanded, turning on him.

"Nothing," he smiled. "It's just my mom says the same thing about me."

Casey folded the paper and looked at them both. "You know you're both grown men now. It's time to learn to take care of yourselves."

Cappie shrugged. "I know how to do it. I just don't ever want to do it."

She shook her head ruefully. "Same old Cappie."

He shrugged again. "I guess somethings never change."

"May I be excused?" Adam interjected, breaking up their banter.

The look Cappie gave the little boy was a bit startled.

"Yes, you may." Casey answered offhandedly.

He got up from the table and grabbed his plate and cup of milk. He stopped at Cappie's chair and gave him a smile. "Thank you, Mr. Cappie. It was very good." Then he took them both to the sink before scampering out of the room.

"Don't run in the house." Casey called after him.

"What have you done ?" Cappie demanded.

It was Casey's turned to look startled. "What do you mean?"

"You've taken all the little boy out of that little boy."

"Why?" She wanted to know. "Because he says please and thank you and clears his dishes. I don't think having manners classifies as taking away his childhood."

"He's a Stepford child," Cappie answered distastefully.

She laughed. "Well mannered does not mean well behaved. I promise right now at this very moment, he's either up to something or he's planning something. But trust me, he is not perfect."

Cappie snorted. "Like what, is he un-matching all his socks?"

Rusty laughed. She'd almost forgotten he was in the room.

"You're the boy's uncle. Where were you when all this do-gooding was happening?" Cappie turned on him.

Rusty looked suddenly abashed. "Come on, Cap, he's five."

A loud thump sounded from down the hall and Casey tried her best to hold in her ' I told you so' look, but wasn't very successful.

They found him doing his best to set a table in the living room back up right. "I told you so," Casey finally muttered, no longer able to keep it in.

"What are you doing?" She asked her son.

Adam jumped to his feet and spun towards them. "It was an accident, Mommy."

"And how did this accident come about ?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at him intimidatingly. "You weren't jumping on the couch again, were you ?"

He shook his head quickly, but stopped when she narrowed her eyes even further. "Maybe."

His eyes were as big as saucers as he returned her look.

"Did you hurt yourself?" She asked, still not softening her look.

"No," he answered.

"Not this time, you mean," she corrected him. "What happened last time?"

"I fell and had to have stitches in my head," he replied, quietly.

"Did you like getting stitches?" she pushed.

"No," he answered again.

"Did we talk about how you weren't going to do it again because getting stitches hurts?" she continued.

"Yes," he said still so quietly she could barely hear him.

"What happens now?" She prompted him.

"I'm going to pick up the table, put the cushions back right and go to my room." He told her.

She nodded and dropped her arms. "Yes, you are."

" I'm sorry, Mommy," he said after she watched him finishing his tasks.

Finally, she smiled at him. "Do you know why Mommy gets so mad when you do things like this?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes a little, a gesture that reminded her so much of Cappie for some reason it was scary. "Because you love me and I'm your baby and you don't want me to get hurt."

"Exactly," she answered, placing a kiss to his forehead. "Now go play in your room."

He nodded and took off like a shot from the room.

"Don't run in the house." She called after him yet again.

"Wow." She heard Cappie mutter from behind her and she turned to him.

"What?" she asked, curious about his expression. It was something close to awe.

"You are really, really good at this," he commented.

She laughed. "It's not that hard."

He moved to the couch and sat down on one of the cushions Adam had just righted. "It is for some people, but you make it look so easy."

She joined him, coming to sit right beside him. His brow was furrowed and the lines on his face seemed deeper.

"What?" she asked, resting her shoulder against his chest. "You look worried."

"I don't think I'll ever be as good at this as you are," he answered. " You are a hell of a mother, Case."

She squeezed his thigh as her body relaxed into his side. "You are going to be a hell of a father, too. You just wait and see," she assured him.


	9. Chapter 9

"What is it now?" Casey asked as she came up behind Cappie and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her head laid against his shoulder blade and she basked in his warmth for a moment.

She had found him with his arm's crossed over his chest, staring out the sliding glass door that lead to her backyard.

Rusty had taken Adam out to get some fresh air, something he didn't receive near enough of.

"Nothing." Cappie answered softly. "I was just watching them."

"You know, I'm sure you're more than welcome to join them."

His hand found hers and he entwined her fingers with his. "I had a couple of phone calls to make. I just finished," he replied.

"Everything is all set on my end. I have the plane reservations and a rental car waiting. My mother is so excited to spend a few extra days with Adam, I could almost hear her jumping up and down."

He turned to face her. "We can take him with us." He told her. "Or I can just go down there myself."

He had made both suggestions before and she had waved him off, like she was doing now. "I'm going and taking a five year old on a plane is a nightmare. Better to do it as few times as possible. Besides Rusty volunteered to take him."

He looked as if he were about to reach out and pull her into his arms. They were standing so close it wouldn't have taken much effort, but he stopped before he completed the motion.

Her hair, longer than it had been in a number of years, had fallen into her eye, and she peered at him through the blond curtain. "What is it?"

"We never really settled this," he answered, still speaking so low it was barely more than a whisper.

Cappie had never been one for being quiet before. He had always been larger than life and louder than necessary. It disturbed her, these new dulcet tones his voice had adopted.

She shifted, not sure what she should say to him. Her first instinct was to put everything she was feeling on the line and just let the chips fall where they may. She wanted him. She needed him. She had never stopped loving him. None of those old feelings had changed. Not even a little and last night had just brought it all to blazing clarity for her.

But she hesitated. She had been down this road before. If her years with Richard had taught her anything, it was that rejection hurt, deeper than anything she had ever experienced physically.

He took a step back, clearing misinterpreting her pause as something it wasn't. "Maybe we should take a step back and breath," he suggested.

"What does that mean?" She wanted to know. If he was taking the rebuilding of their relationship off the table for the time being, she wanted it clear who had made that choice.

He ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "It means it's obvious that neither of us are sure what were doing right now and maybe it's better if we try to get to know each other again before we just pick up where we left off."

His words slammed into her with a force that almost made her stumble. She felt herself immediately plunging back into the feelings of self doubt that had accompanied her through her marriage. She yanked the sides of her yellow cardigan to the center of her chest and turned away from him.

"I understand. We will just concentrate on finding Emily and getting through Thanksgiving," she said, coolly.

His hand fell to her shoulder and stopped her a moment before she retreated towards the stairs.

"Casey," he said.

She stood still for a moment longer, waiting for him to finish his thought. When nothing else came from him, she shrugged his hand away and continued on her journey up the stairs. She had things to do to get ready for the next day. She needed to concentrate on that and do her best to put her feelings for Cappie aside.

When he didn't follow her or attempt to stop her again, she knew she had made the right choice.

It wasn't Casey that came to him that night. It was the other way around. Neither said a word, both too afraid to break the spell of silence surrounding the sleeping house. He had tried. God knows, he tried to stay in his own room, to get some of the elusive sleep that everyone else seemed to be enjoying. But it hadn't come and he knew the reason.

Finally, no longer able to help himself, he tiptoed down the hall and slipped into her room. She was waiting for him, just like he had been waiting for her the night before.

But tonight was different. Tonight they weren't seeking comfort in each other's arms. They weren't trying to recapture a past that neither of them could hold on to anymore. Tonight they just laid there, wrapped up in each other until he heard her fall asleep.

The dull, gray light of the early morning sun filtered through the blinds and fell softly across the bed where Cappie was resting. He had never managed to actually fall asleep, spending his night instead holding Casey and listening to her soft sighs as she dreamed peacefully in his arms.

He was having a hard time holding on to the reality of where and when he was in time. It was so familiar, laying there with her, letting her head rest on his chest and feeling his arm draped around her waist. It was like the years between then and now never existed. All the pain seemed to fade into oblivion while she was curled into his side. The warmth of her body was like a comforting blanket of safety and security.

He wanted to believe that he was where he was supposed to be, finally after all this time. It was Karmic Synergy at its finest. When something was supposed to happen it would eventually, in its own time and he sighed in contentment as he realized that maybe, finally it was their time. They had found each other again and somehow they could make it work.

The darkness of his thoughts from two nights before threatened to take over his mood as the voice in his head started up again.

Years, it kept repeating like it was on an unending loop. It had taken years to move on from her. Maybe there was a reason for that as well. Maybe it had taken years because it never should have happen. Maybe he never should have moved on it the first place. Maybe, just maybe they really were meant to be together.

He wanted to believe it. He wanted it all to be true. He wanted to let himself believe that he was about to have everything he had ever wanted. A family, a life with Casey at his side. It was everything he had ever dreamed of. The one thing he had wanted more than anything else.

But what did he have to offer her ? She was an important woman with real ambition and plans for her future. Where did he fit into that scenario ? He had never really done anything with his life. He had tried at one point. He let Rebecca talk him into taking a job with her father. He had been miserable the entire time, wanting nothing more than to escape from the tie around his neck that always felt more like a noose.

So where did that leave him ?

Right where it always left him. No plans, no future and no direction. Apparently he hadn't changed as much as he imagined he had. What would Casey think about that when the subject eventually came up ?

He was exactly as she had left him seven years before, only now he was more pathetic, a nearly thirty year old child without a job and without a goal in sight.

He thought briefly about his laptop, still stowed in the back of Rusty's car and the novel that he had been playing with for the last few years. But that wasn't a career, not really. It wasn't something he had ever taken very seriously. He hadn't even known he had the ability to write until a few years before when in a fit of boredom, he sat down and just began to type. What came out wasn't that bad. The few people he had let read it seemed to think he had some talent even. So maybe, if he could believe the words of his mother and his three best friends, maybe he had a future there. But it was a rocky one. There was no stability in it.  
Casey needed stability. She had a child to think about. She didn't need a man that was more a burden than anything else coming into her carefully constructed life and mucking up the works.

He glanced around him and realized for the first time that that was exactly what he had walked into when he arrived. The entire house seemed somehow artificial and plastic. Nowhere could be found the mess that usually came with raising a young child. Everything was neat and orderly and he had absolutely no place here.

The fluffy, beige comforter he was laying under, the one that perfectly matched the beige sheets under him, rustled as Casey shifted in her sleep. The strap of her nightgown had fallen off her shoulder and peeked out through a veil of blond hair. Even it matched the color scheme, a champagne colored gown to fit in with the beige carpet, walls, and bedding.

Maybe that was the problem. There was no color here. Everything was monotone and, he hated to think it but, lifeless.

Sterile. The word sprang to his mind and he knew instantly that it was the word he'd been searching for. It fit perfectly. Everything was just too sterile. It was a house straight out of a decorating magazine, nothing personal or untidy presented itself anywhere.

Even the kitchen, a place where most people left down their guards down and allowed a little mess now and then, was barren of anything resembling life.

How did she do that ? She worked all day, everyday. She was raising a five year old on her own. A five year old that had proven him wrong in his early assumption that there was something wrong with him. He was just as rambunctious and disorderly as he was supposed to be. And crafty about it, too. The boy was a schemer. Rusty had regaled Cappie with the story about Adam making fifty dollars by charging the neighborhood kids to watch him try to jump from the second story balcony into the pool. He had donned one of the living room curtains, tying it around his shoulders like a cape as he attempted to fly into the pool. A broken arm and serious damage to the curtain had resulted.

Then there was the story about how Adam managed to manipulate his parents into taking him to a movie by sending them fake, yet extremely real-looking, free tickets in the mail.

It reminded him a lot of the things he did when he was a child and he glanced down at the top of Casey's head in with a look of pity.

_Poor woman_, he thought to himself, _she's raising a mini-me_. Except Adam had a few things that Cappie had not been privileged with, like his Uncle Rusty's knack for working with computers, and his mother's indomitable charm that made it nearly impossible to stay mad at him for long.

Yes, Casey had her hands full with Adam, yet somehow she made it look so easy, this parenthood thing. Although, in all honesty, she made everything she did look so easy. It was her way.

It was absolutely impossible not to love her, At least, it was for him.

The sound of coughing from across the hall brought his attention there and he gently moved Casey away from him so he could get up.

The coughing continued as he reached Adam's door and pushed it open.

The tiny little body was raised up in bed as he dug through the drawer of his nightstand, searching for something.

"What is it, little man?" Cappie asked as he child continued to cough. There was a wheezing sound accompanying the cough now and suddenly Cappie understood. He was having an asthma attack. Cappie had been prone to them himself when he was young.

He was just about to run to get Casey when he spotted the small suitcase sitting beside the door.

He opened it quickly and searched around inside until he spotted the inhaler he was looking for.

"Thank you, Mr. Cappie," Adam said hoarsely after taking two puffs from the medication.

Cappie was perched on the side of the bed watching him carefully for any signs that the medicine hadn't worked. But apparently it had because Adam laid back against his pillow once again and his breathing was quiet and even.

"You're welcome," Cappie smiled at him.

"Sometimes I can't breath good." He told him.

"I had the same problem when I was little," Cappie answered as he pulled the blankets back up around the boy's small frame.

"So did Uncle Rusty," Adam nodded.

"Are you all better now?" Cappie asked, even though the drooping of the boy's eyes said he was fine.

"I'm okay," he nodded in answer.

"Okay, then I'm going to go so you can go back to sleep."

Adam reached out for his hand before he had a chance to move. "Mommy stays with me until I go to sleep."

"Do you want me to go get her?"

Adam shook his head groggily. "No, you'll do."

"Alright then. I'll stay," Cappie agreed and made himself comfortable while he watched Adam's eyes slowly drifting shut.

A moment later he was out and Cappie eased himself from the bed and turned to find Casey standing in the doorway watching him.

Neither of them said a word until they were back in Casey's room with the door shut behind them.

"I woke up and you were gone. I thought maybe you'd gone back to your room.," she commented weakly as she slipped back into bed.

He didn't bother to hesitate before joining her. "Adam had an asthma attack. I heard him coughing."

She sat back up quickly. "Is he okay? Did he find his inhaler? I knew I shouldn't have packed it until tomorrow."

He put his hand on her shoulder and drew back to his side. "He's fine. I found it. He used it and he's fine."

"Did you stay with him until he went back to sleep?" she asked, still tensed beside him.

"Yes, I did. He's fine. Go back to sleep," he assured her again.

He felt her relax into him and relaxed himself in response. "You know, not once, in five years, has Richard ever gotten up with him in the middle of the night. Not even when he was a baby. It was always me."

Cappie felt his chest jolt a little at that. He hated that she'd had so little help with her son. "I didn't mind."

She nestled her head more firmly into his shoulder and gave a contented sigh. "He likes you, you know. He always asks Rusty to come get me."

Cappie chuckled. "Well, Spitter doesn't exactly inspire confidence in people. But I did offer to get you. He told me ' I'd do'."

"Tomorrow will be the first night we've spent apart since he was born," she added quietly.

"Really? I figured with your job, you must travel a lot."

She shook her head. "I never had anyone to take care of him, so I've always taken him with me. He likes my assistant, so it isn't too much trouble to have him along."

Cappie glanced down at her in awe. "So you're telling me that not only are you one of the most sought after campaign managers in the business but you do it all with a toddler in tow ?"

She chuckled softly. "Well, he isn't a toddler anymore. But yeah, that's how it started. Hell, I did it with an infant in tow at first. On my last campaign, we we're at a debate and I guess he overheard us talking because I left him in our hotel room by himself for a few minutes to take a phone call. Half an hour later a room service cart arrived and I was informed that the three hundred dollars worth of food on the cart had been charged to our opponent's room. He's so smart it's scary sometimes." She laughed again. "Kinda reminds me of you."

Cappie laughed, too. "That does sound like something I would do."

She raised her head to look up into his face, before dropping it back to his shoulder again. "I really hope you stay around long enough to get to know him. You'll really like him. He's a special little boy."

"Here, in Washington?" he asked, not sure what she meant.

She shifted slightly in his arms. "Well, yeah, or even here in this house." Her voice had dropped so low he could barely hear her and he hated the uncertain quality it held as she spoke. It was almost like she was just waiting for him to tell her he had no intention of staying anywhere near her. It wasn't normal. Casey was always confident and self assured. He wondered what she had gone through to change that.

He decided to mask his concern with humor which was always an easy fallback for him. "Are you asking me to move in with you? Aren't you a married woman? What will people think?" he teased.

She glanced up to his face and he made sure she found a smile waiting for her there. Then she jabbed him lightly in the ribs. "I meant that you're welcome to stay with us if you want while you figure out what you're going to do next. And I'm only a married woman until I can get the paperwork to my lawyer."

"So it's settled?" he asked. They hadn't really talked much about what was happening with her husband and her marriage. "You've already filed the papers?"

She laughed. "I've already signed the damn things. All I want from Richard London is to have him out of my life."

He pulled her back against him and let his hand drag through her ever so soft hair. "I'm sorry, Case. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision for you."

"You know, actually it was. He made it easy. And it wasn't even finding him in bed with another woman, that made it easy. We both know how I can overlook that mistake when I need to." She chuckled a little and he joined her a touch uneasily. "It's the way he's acting towards that Adam that really makes me hate him. That little boy thinks Richard is the most wonderful man in the world and he doesn't even appreciate it. He doesn't care."

Cappie felt a shiver run through him. He would give anything in the world to have a child that felt that way about him. How could this man possibly be so unaffected by that?

They both fell silent for a time, each lost in their own thoughts as night drifted into morning outside the window.

"Do you still love her?" Casey asked suddenly, completely out of the blue.

"Who?" Cappie replied. For the life of him he couldn't image who she could be referring to.

"Rebecca."

_Oh, her_, he thought to himself.

"You said you were pretty sure you loved Richard at one time. I don't think I ever loved Rebecca. I cared about her. But I don't think it was ever love," he admitted.

" Then why did you marry her?"

He took a deep breath wondering just how much he wanted to tell her. He could go all the way and just tell her everything. It would be so easy. It would also be putting himself completely at her mercy. It would give her all the power she needed to rip what was left of him to shreds. He wasn't sure he was ready to give anyone that much power.

"I'm not sure," he lied.

She raised up and gazed intently into his face. "That's not true."

He looked away letting his eyes land on the ceiling and cursing the fact that she knew him so well. "It's true enough."

Her hand fell to the center of his chest. "What happened to ' I'm still me and you're still you and there isn't anything we can't say to each other'?" she asked. "That goes both ways you know."

He shook his head. "I'm not sure we're ready for this."

"Ready for what, Cap? What aren't you telling me, because now I know there's something to tell?"

He sat up beside her and took another deep breath. "Fine, it was not too long after my dad died. I ran into Rebecca and we were sort of dating, I guess. It was all really casual. We'd hook up when ever we had a chance, but it wasn't serious. She'd been leaning that way for awhile, but we both know how good I am at resisting that." He paused for another breath. "Then I went to stay with Rusty for a few days. While I was there, I found a letter from you." She raised her eyebrows to prompt him to continue. "You were just going on and on about this great guy that you'd met and how he asked you to marry him and you were thinking about saying yes." He paused again, for affect this time and watched her reaction closely. "I asked her as soon as I got home."

Her eyes grew distant as if she were looking back into her past. "I didn't tell him yes until Rusty called and told me all about your wedding," she said finally.

He sighed heavily. "And then Chicago happened."

She nodded. "Then Chicago. I broke up with Richard when I came home. He used some privileged information about a candidate I was working for in an article and I broke up with him. I found out the day I got back to town and after everything with you and I and then the article, I called the whole thing off." It was her turn to sigh now. "Then I found out about Adam and I went crawling right back to him. It was kind of pathetic really."

He put his finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to him. "You are not pathetic. There is no way you could ever be pathetic." Tears welled in her eyes at hearing his words and his heart lurched towards his stomach at the sight. "What did he do to you?"

She moved her face from his hand and looked down at her hands which were laced in her lap. "Richard has a way with people."

"What does that mean ?" Cappie asked, sitting up a little straighter. He hadn't ever met the man, but already he hated him. No one was allowed to cause his Casey the kind of pain he clearly saw reflected in the depths of her green eyes.

"I never really felt good enough for him," she explained tearfully.

He moved closer to her and pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her protectively. "Oh, Case, you're so wrong. You have to be. I've never met anyone that even came close to being good enough for you."

Her thought he heard her make a noise that might have been laughter. "No, you're wrong," she said, pulling her face from his shoulder. "You were always good enough for me."

That was the last thing they said before she pulled his face down to hers and he lost himself in her once again.


	10. Chapter 10

The plane ride had been painless. But then, they hadn't yet run out of the easy banter that was readily available to two people that hadn't seen each other in years.

It was the hour and half long drive to Burgess after they landed in Texas that was tense. Cappie drove the rented four-door, blue sedan with one hand on the wheel while the other dangled uselessly from an arm that was resting along the window. He cast the occasional, furtive glance towards the passenger seat, but remained silent.

Casey did much the same, except that she sat primly in her seat, safely buckled in behind her seat belt. Cappie had dismissed that particular safety feature the moment he got in the car. He wasn't one for being tied down, not even by something that might save his life. His reasoning went along the lines of – he was safe enough. He wasn't planning on hitting anything. Casey did her own share of occasional glancing as she tried desperately to think of something to say.

Every time she tried, all she could think about was the fact than in a little over twenty-four hours, she would be under the same roof as her parents and Richard. The sense of dread and impending doom increased with every passing second. There was no possible way this weekend would end well. No way, whatsoever.

"You okay?" Cappie asked, finally, unable to take the quiet any longer. Casey had known he'd be the first to break.

"Ask me again on Monday," she muttered.

He reached out and took her hand, deftly switching hands on the wheel as he did. Then he gave it a squeeze, followed by one of his old, easy, reassuring smiles. "It's going to be okay. You'll get through it. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it's for Adam and it's only for a few days. It'll be over before you know it."

She gave him a long sidewise look. "What happens then? Have you thought about what you'll do after Thanksgiving?"

He eased his hand out of hers and spent a few minutes studying the scenery around them. "I was thinking that I might take you up on your offer, providing it still stands."

She did her best to beat down the smile that was suddenly tugging at her lips. She hadn't realized how much having him close meant to her until then. "Of course it still stands. Stay as long as you like."

"It won't be for long, just until I find a place of my own. I don't want to put you out," he assured her.

She took his hand and squeezed it this time. Her voice was hesitant as she summoned up the courage to say what she needed to say. There was a time when it was easy for her to tell people how she really felt, but that was in a different lifetime. "I want you to stay. I've really missed you." She told him shakily.

"I don't want to show up and upend your life, Case. That was never my intention," he replied.

She sighed and smiled sadly. "You aren't upending anything. It's not like I had that much of a life to disrupt."

"I know you work a lot. But I know you well enough to know that there is a social life going on, too. You have friends, causes, things you do outside of work. I don't want to get in the way of any of that. You go about doing exactly what you were doing before I showed up."

She shifted as she thought about what he was saying. Sadly she couldn't remember the last time she'd left her house that wasn't business or Adam related. She never went anywhere. She never did anything. And friends? She had her assistant, but their relationship, while more personal than most, was more or less, a business one. Ashleigh was in New York and had a busy life of her own. She hadn't talked to any other ZBZ in years. When Richard was there, his friends were the ones they went places with. His friends were the ones that came over for dinner. Nearly everyone she knew in Washington, she knew through Richard in one way or another. "Like I said, you won't be in the way," she answered, a touch nervously and decided it was time to change the subject. Whining about her life was not something she indulged in and it wasn't time to start now.

She took her phone from her purse and started to push in several numbers.

"He's fine," Cappie assured her. "You worry too much."

She glanced down at her phone, considering his words before letting the call go through. "Is everything alright?" she asked the moment Rusty answered.

"Everything is fine. We are currently enjoying some peanut butter sandwiches and when we're done here, we're going to the park," he said.

She closed her eyes and tried to push down the spike of worry in her chest. "Just be careful. I know he seems normal, but he's not. Watch him, don't let him do anything dangerous."

"I know all about it and I'll watch him like a hawk. We'll be fine, Case. Don't worry," her brother replied.

"Call me if anything happens," she demanded.

"I will. Now go away so we can have fun." Then he hung up on her.

"See I told you so," Cappie sing-songed at her a moment later.

"I'm not just being overprotective. The park is a dangerous place for a little boy like Adam," she said, defensively.

Cappie shrugged and looked over at her cautiously. "I don't want it to sound like I'm telling you how to raise your son, or interfering," he began.

Casey through up her hands in frustration. She'd had enough of this and she couldn't take anymore. "Okay," She turned in her seat to better face him. "Can we stop this now? It's getting ridiculous."

"Stop what?" Cappie asked, quickly.

"All this niceness. It's silly. This is me and you, here. We know each other. I know you aren't trying to butt into my life. I know you aren't here with some ulterior motive to screw up my life. I would never do anything to hurt you purposefully and I trust you wouldn't do anything to me, either. Have we really gotten so far away from each other that we have to keep reminding each other of that?"

He seemed a little taken aback by her outburst at first, then he slowly smiled. "I suppose you're right. I guess we both have our reasons for our trust issues, but if there is anyone in the world we can trust, it's always been each other."

"Exactly, so just say what you want to say. I'm not going to see it as you taking over, or trying to interfere."

"I think you should relax a little where Adam is concerned," he blurted out without hesitating another second.

She began shaking her head immediately. "You don't understand,"

"I know," Cappie assured her. "He's got asthma. I had asthma when I was his age. I did fine."

She sat up a little straighter, not because she was angry but because what she had to say was important and she needed him to listen. "Adam doesn't just have asthma. He's got Hemophilia."

He grew silent for a moment. "I see. My father had Hemophilia. I get it. I'd be worried all the time, too."

Casey couldn't get her tongue to work. His words had somehow disconnected everything from her brain. Nothing was working as it should. Her heart was beating all over the place. Her lungs couldn't seem to draw in enough air. Even her vision appeared cloudy around the edges.

She hadn't known. He'd never mentioned anything about his father having the disease before. But suddenly pieces were clicking into place in her mind like a jigsaw puzzle coming together. Questions that had had no answers before now were perfectly obvious. All this time, she'd simply written everything off as unexplainable. It had never occurred to her.

Questions like, why did Adam have asthma? Neither she nor Richard had ever suffered from the disease. But they'd written it off, explained it because Rusty had been prone to it when he was younger. So it was there in her genes.

Or, blue eyes? Richard's were brown, hers were green. Again, easily explained, it happened all the time. No big deal, just another question that rested in the back of her mind, left unanswered until right then.

The certain proof was the medical evidence. Adam had been diagnosed with Hemophilia when he was young. The doctor's couldn't explain the normally inherited disease in a child where neither side of the family had any sort of blood disorders. But it hadn't been important at the time. The doctor's assured them, it was a rare thing for it pop up like that, but it could happen.

All the times she'd looked at Adam and been assaulted with images from her days at CRU. He had always reminded her so much of Cappie. Everything about him was a tiny imitation of the man sitting beside her and she had never put that piece together before that moment.

A sudden knot formed in her stomach as she looked over at Cappie. Should she tell him what she was thinking? How would he react? Here they were, driving through the middle of nowhere, searching for his child. He'd told her how much he regretted the part of her life he'd already missed. How would he feel when she told him that he had another child that had grown up without him? Would he believe her after everything Rebecca put him through? Would he think she'd been keeping the information from him on purpose?

Cappie's eyes grew alarmed at whatever he saw on her face. "Are you okay, Case? Do I need to pull over?"

"Yes," she choked out quickly around the lump in her throat. She needed air. She needed move around. Mostly, she needed to get away from him for a moment. She'd never really been able to think when he was close to her and that had never changed. Something about Cappie's nearness overloaded her brain, making it impossible to make logical decisions.

As soon as the car was out of gear, she had the door opened. She gritted her teeth when she heard his door close as well.

"Casey?" he called, when she took off quickly down the dirt shoulder of the road they'd been driving down.

"Just give me a second. I'll be back. I'm just a little carsick," she lied, calling the words out over her shoulder without stopping or looking back at him.  
She heaved a sigh of relief when she heard his car door open and shut once again.


	11. Chapter 11

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cappie asked as he reached out and placed a gentle hand on her thigh. "I don't remember you ever getting car sick before."

She'd come back to the car and steadfastly ignored his questioning looks while settling in and buckling up. Now they were back on the highway, half an hour away from their destination and he was worried. Of course he was worried. She'd darted out of the car and took off like she'd been launched from a rocket for no apparent reason. How could he not be worried?

She'd made the decision to wait for a better time to tell him what she now knew was true. Adam was his son. There was no question in her mind about that.

Chicago, nearly six years ago. How had that slipped past her before? How had she not connected those dots?

_Because you didn't want to_, was the only explanation her mind could conjure.

She and Cappie had never worked out. It was always the same, the leaving, the getting back together, only to break up again a few weeks later. It never lasted. They never were able to make it work for more than a short period of time. She'd seen Richard as stable and responsible, ready to start a family. Cappie never seemed like a family man to her before.

But the man sitting beside her now was a different one than the one she knew all those years ago. This man was older, more mature, more stable. This man could be the father that Adam needed.

"It must have been something I ate. You know, airplane food," she muttered, weakly. It was a pathetic attempt and she was sure he would see right through it.

But he seemed to accept it and went back to quietly driving.

"Have you thought about what you're going to say to Emily's mother if we find her?" Casey asked after a long silence.

He sighed heavily. "Not really. I was planning to just wing it."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. She was looking for you once, so obviously she isn't opposed to you being in Emily's life."

"Right," he nodded and she noticed his hands were white knuckled on the steering wheel.

"Cap," she said, reaching over to him and placing her hand on his knee. "you are going to be an amazing father. Don't worry."

"Thank you for coming with me. You didn't have to," he smiled, tightly.

"Of course. I'm always here for you." she smiled back.

It felt like no time before they were pulling into the parking lot of a tiny, rundown diner in the middle of the small town of Burgess, Texas. Cappie had only grown more tense as they got closer and now she could see the set of his shoulders and the clenching of his jaw. He was more nervous than she'd ever seen him. This was something she'd never experienced before, Cappie on edge. It was a strange sight.

They pulled into the parking lot of the 'Little hole in the wall diner' and Cappie turned the engine off. But instead of getting out of the car, he let his hands fall to his thighs and he just sat there staring into the plate glass windows that lined the front of the building.

"Are we getting out?" she asked, giving him a sideways glance.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I just need a minute."

Casey accepted that and reached out to take his hand in hers. He gave it a squeeze in appreciation and started to reach for the door, but stopped when a car pulled in two places down from them.

They watched as a man, woman and a child all exited from the vehicle. The woman, around Casey's age with blond hair and dressed in a waitress' uniform, came around to the driver's side and stopped in front of the man, a little older than her, dressed in a suit and tie.

"That's her. I remember her," Cappie whispered, "That's Pam."

Casey watched Pam as she spoke to the man for a moment before leaning in to kiss him familiarly. Then she turned to the young girl that had gotten out of the backseat.

She looked every bit as much like Cappie as Adam did and Casey tensed now, hoping that he wouldn't see the resemblance that was so blatantly clear to her. It wasn't time for that. Right now was about him and Emily and Pam.

The girl apparently didn't like what her mother was telling her because her face took on a determined pout before she gave a huff and stomped her foot.

The man turned to the girl and said something with a stern look on his face. Emily, or at least Casey assumed it was Emily, said something to him that looked like, 'Yes, Sir,' with a defeated look on her face. Then he pulled her into his side and placed a fatherly kiss to the top of her head.  
Casey heard Cappie shift beside her and she returned her attention to him. His face was blanched and drawn as he watched the scene with the happy little family playing out in front of him.

"Are you going to go talk to them?" she asked, trying to urge him into action.

He hesitated before bringing his eyes to hers. "Do you really think I should?"

"What do you mean? Of course I think you should. That's why we're here." Casey reminded him needlessly.

She turned back to the family in time to see the woman kiss both the girl and the man before walking off towards the building. The man and girl got into the car a moment later and pulled out of the parking lot.

"You just let them go without even talking to them," she said accusingly as she turned back to Cappie.

"I know," he nodded.

"Okay, so what now?" she pushed.

He took a deep breath and let go of her hand. "Now, I'm going to go talk to Pam alone. It should be her decision whether or not Emily meets me. I couldn't just walk up and insinuate myself into their lives unannounced like that."

Casey stared at him in shock as he got out and went into the cafe. Her eyes never left him as he walked up to the waitress and began to talk to her.

He was right, of course. Letting Pam make the decision was the best way to handle the situation. She couldn't help but be amazed at the amount of maturity that Cappie displayed at reaching that conclusion. It hadn't even occurred to her, but Cappie showing up out of the blue like that very well could break that family apart. No, Cappie had made the right choice and she was proud of him for it. It was the mature, responsible, self-less choice.

He returned to the car a few moments later with a piece of paper in his hand and a smile on his face.

"Well?" Casey asked the moment his door shut.

"Well what?" he asked, clearly teasing her and it made her feel better to see him not so tense now.

"I have her phone number. I'm going to give her a call after the holidays. She's on her way to her grandparents house to spend Thanksgiving with them," he explained.

"So that's it? You aren't even going to meet her?" she protested.

He shook his head. "No, that's not it. I got to see her. I know she's safe and healthy and happy. That's more than enough for now. She has a good life, a good family with a stepfather that loves her and takes care of her. I couldn't ask for more than that."

"But I thought all this was about being part of her life. I thought that was what you wanted."

"And I'm going to be. I'm going to call her. But knowing she's okay is what this was all about. It was never about me, not really. It was about her."

He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, turning them back to the highway.

"Case?" Cappie said after a little over an hour of silence.

"Hm?" she answered, glancing in his direction.

"Do you have a plan for this weekend? Have you talked to Richard about how you're going to handle it?"

She sat up straighter, brushing away the sleepiness she'd been fighting against for a while now and rubbed her eyes. "I don't talk to Richard more than is absolutely necessary. But I suppose we should, huh?"

"Do you think he'll keep his word and let your mother have her holiday?" he pressed.

She sighed. "I never know with him. If he really feels like there's something in it for him, yes. It's always all about what's in it for him."

He gave her leg a squeeze. "I can't believe that. Surely, there has to be more to him than that. You thought you loved him once. He can't be all bad."

She chuckled. "He isn't some kind of criminal mastermind with no redeeming qualities. He has his good side. He just buries it very deeply under a layer of calculating, selfish, arrogance that's hard to see through."

"Adam loves him," he replied.

She shifted, turning in her seat to face him. "I don't understand that. Since he was born Richard more or less ignored him. He doesn't ever spend time with him unless he has no other choice. Hell, I was in a car accident a few years back, nothing major, but I had to spend the night in the hospital and Richard took Adam to his sisters for the night so he wouldn't be stuck with him."

"That's terrible," he tsked quietly.

Casey shrugged. "That's Richard."

He grew quiet again, but his hand remained on her leg where it had been resting since he started talking. Casey glance down and really wanted to put hers over it, but she wasn't sure she should. They still hadn't really talked about what was happening between them. They spent their nights together after everyone else went to sleep, but the days were strained and uncertain.

She wished she had the guts to just ask him exactly what he was thinking where she was concerned. But the coward in her halted the words before she could get them. She was so happy he was there with her. She didn't want to risk saying or doing anything that might change that.

She spent the nearly four hour plane ride from Dallas to Chicago sleeping. It had been an exhausting week for her and the lull of the plane, once it was in flight, was more than she could fight against. Once she gave in, Cappie pulled her into his side and let her rest against him, or at least that's what she assumed had happened because when she woke it was with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her protectively.

As the last bits of sleep left her, she raised her head just enough to see into his face. If he was asleep as well she didn't want to wake him by pulling away abruptly. But when she found his face, he was looking down at her and she suddenly realized his hand was listlessly pulling through her hair. She blinked up at him groggily and gave him a smile. He returned it with a warm one of his own. Then he surprised her when he leaned in and brushed his lips gently across hers.

"I have to go to the bathroom." He told her when he pulled back. "Save my seat."

She shook her head. "Nope. It goes to the first hot guy that comes along. I suggest you hurry."

He kissed her again, a quick, fleeting one this time and mumbled something that sounded like, 'Minx,' before he got up and disappeared down the aisle.

"That's nice," an old woman across the aisle smiled at her. "You two remind me of myself and Henry when we were young."

Casey sat up, pulled away from watching him walk away by the woman's comment. The woman was holding the hand of the elderly man next to her and Casey smiled at the couple.

"How long have you been married?" she asked, because it was the polite thing to do.

The woman's kind, gray blue eyes shifted to her husband and the smile she gave him was full of warmth and overflowing with love and adoration. "Thirty years," she answered. "You?"

She chuckled. "We aren't married."

"Oh," the woman said, glancing down the aisle where Cappie had disappeared. "I didn't mean to assume."

"It's okay," Casey assured her.

"Are you going to Chicago to spend the holidays with family?" the woman asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, we are. How about you?"

She nodded. "With our son. Such a nice boy. He's a lawyer. We're going to meet our eighth grandchild for the first time."

"That's nice. I hope you have a wonderful holiday," Casey smiled at her again.

"I hope you do, too."

"Did you make a new friend?" Cappie asked when he came back to his seat and pulled her back into his side.

"She's a sweet lady," Casey said quietly. "Reminds me of my grandmother."

He turned to fully face her and there was a look on his face that said she might not like what he was about to say. "Do you think it would be easier if I got a hotel room while we're here? Or even just went back to D.C.?"

She shrank back from him and let her eyes fall to her lap. "If that's what you want to do," she answered.

He grabbed her hands. "I was just thinking about you. I don't want to complicate this weekend any more than it's already complicated. If my not being there will make it easier, I can make myself scarce."

"I really want you to come with me," she said uncertainly. "If you wouldn't mind, I mean. I don't want to do this alone."

He dropped her hands and cupped the side of her face in his large palm. "Of course I don't mind. If you want me there, I'll be there."

The light above their heads dinged on and her reply was interrupting by an announcement that they were landing and should fasten their seat belts.

"I want you there. I need you with me for this, Cap. Don't make me do it alone." She told him after clicking hers into place across her waist.

"You don't have to do it alone if you don't want to," he answered, holding her hand again. "You don't ever have to be alone again. I'm here."


	12. Chapter 12

The house wasn't anything like he expected. A half hour's drive from Chicago, it was set off from the road by a winding driveway lined with a row of colorful trees on each side. The gravel crunched under the tires of the rental car as Cappie slowly drove them towards their destination.

The house itself was picturesque, gray shingled roof, blue siding on a three story, traditional American farmhouse with white columns that surrounded the wraparound porch and held up the balcony that wrapped around the second story. Brown shutters flanked the windows. The front door was white with decorative glass lamps on each side. The four steps leading up to the house were surrounded by a white railing covered in a green, leafy vine and lush, colorful flowerbeds spanned the expanse of the house on either side of the steps.

It was a beautiful house, a family home, a place to raise children. The front yard was filled with more flowerbeds that wrapped around the base of several large, shady trees with leaves that brought the fall to full bloom in reds, yellows, and browns in every shade and hue imaginable. The backyard, what he could see of it, was spacious and led down to the rocky shore of Lake Michigan.

"You grew up here?" he asked incredulously as he remembered his own rambling childhood filled with tents and campgrounds to call home.

"Yeah," she smiled nostalgically at the house. "We moved where when I was nine, after my grandfather died. It's been in our family for years."

"When you said you were from Chicago I pictured an apartment in a rundown brownstone or maybe some suburban cardboard cutout house. I did not imagine this," he replied as he pulled the car in behind Rusty's white four door sedan which was parked off to the side of the attached garage that held two other cars, a silver SUV and another four door sedan type vehicle, this one in blue. A black luxury car was parked beside Rusty's.

"I spent every summer of my childhood here before we moved in with my grandparents. My grandpa taught me to fish off the dock out back. And my grandma let me help in the garden right over there." She pointed off to a large patch of ground that was clearly worked up for growing food and not part of the yard. She shifted in her seat and pointed out the back window towards a mass of trees that surrounded a small shed. "Those are apple and pear trees. My grandmother made applesauce and pear preserves from them."

Cappie chuckled as got out of the car and went to the trunk to retrieve their bags, "And deer frolic in the meadow over there and bluebirds serenade your morning coffee," he joked.

"There are deer here during the right time of year and the porch swing is perfect for listening to the birds sing, thank you very much," she retorted. She paused for a moment to frown at the car parked beside Rusty's.

"What? Is that Richard?" he asked, coming to stand beside her.

"No, it's my Aunt Lucy and her girls. That might be a problem," she said as she worried her lip between her teeth.

"Why is Aunt Lucy a problem?"

"Aunt Lucy is fine. It's the girls that might be a problem. Just stay close to Rusty. I'll sure it'll be okay."

Then she walked off towards the steps that lead to the house.

"Wait! Why are Aunt Lucy's girls a problem?" he called as he hurried to catch up to her.

"You'll see," was the cryptic answer he got before she went inside.

Cappie readjusted the heavy bag on his shoulder and gripped the suitcase handle in his palm tighter before taking a deep breath and following her in.

The interior of the house was much like the outside. The foyer was covered in a blue lacy patterned wallpaper and a dark hardwood flooring. A coat rack with several articles decorating its limbs set right inside the door with an antique grandfather clock beside it. Three archways lead off to other parts of the house and a large staircase lead to the upper floors covered in a blue runner and decorated with a dark wood banister. Tan curtains covered the long, thin windows on either side of the door and a bench sat on the opposite wall from the clock.

Cappie only managed to notice all that in passing as the moment he stepped inside he was greeted by more people than the relatively small foyer could comfortably handle.

The introductions commenced immediately. First, Casey and Rusty's mother, Karen, a stylish, well put together woman in her late fifties with auburn hair, carefully arranged in a smart bun and wearing a blue cable-knit sweater, khaki colored slacks and an air of sophistication that seemed out of place in the homey, country style setting she found herself in. Cappie decided it was better not to mention the fact that they had met once before at the Kappa Tau house during Rusty's freshman year. It had not gone the way Rusty and Cappie had planned for the meeting to go and had ended with his parents demanding he withdraw from the Fraternity.

Next in line was Aunt Lucy who looked enough like their mother to make their relationship unmistakable, but the similarities ended with the resemblance as Lucy was a plump woman a little older than Karen, with short cropped darker hair that bobbed around her round face as she moved. She wore a bland, shapeless, wrinkled, camel colored dress with a coffee stain adorning the front and flour splattering the sides where she had obviously wiped her hands. She surprised Cappie with a hug in greeting instead of the more formal handshake he'd received from Karen.

The two younger women, one Casey's age and the other just a touch younger that had been standing back, waiting for their turn came forward when Lucy waved them on. Rose and Daisy, Aunt Lucy's girls, were giggly, bouncy, perky blonds with sweet manners and flirtatious smiles as they were introduced to Cappie.

"Where's dad?" Casey asked, looking around the little room like she might have just missed him.

"He's out back with your brother and Adam," Karen answered, taking Casey by the shoulder and leading her through one of the archways. "Rose, will you and Daisy show Cappie to attic bedroom?" she called over her shoulder and disappeared without waiting for an answer, dragging Casey along with her.

Aunt Lucy trailed along behind them, leaving Cappie alone in the foyer with the girls. He barely caught Casey's apologetic expression before she was whisked away.

"It's this way," Rose giggled as she lead the way up the stairs and Daisy followed, effectively trapping him in the middle of them.

"So what do you do, Cappie?" Daisy asked as they ascended the stairs.

"I'm kind of between careers at the moment," he mumbled, eying the photographs that hung in a line up the wall. He couldn't help but smile as pictures of Casey in various stages of her life grinned back at him from the frames. Teenage Casey in a red and white cheerleading uniform, toddler Casey in a frilly pink dress with a bonnet pushing a baby Rusty down, little girl Casey in a blue ruffled dress with bows and ribbons sticking her tongue out at the camera, it all served to give him a deeper insight into the woman that he always thought he knew so well. He realized, as he made his way upward, that all this was a part of her that he had never met before, a part she'd never shared with him until now. He wasn't sure whether he should feel hurt that it had taken her so long to let him see it or privileged that she'd finally deemed him worthy.

The sister's led him down a long hall at the second story landing, past several closed doors and up a second set of stairs that led to the third floor. At this landing, there was only a small space with two door facing opposite each other. One, Rose helpfully pointed out, was a bathroom, the other opened to a cozy, spacious bedroom with a sloping ceiling. The floors were hardwood softened by two large rugs. The walls were wood planked as well. One end of the room held a recessed window with a bench seat beneath it. On the other end was covered in heavy beige drapes. Two light oak, four-poster twin size beds took up much of the space along with the matching nightstand that stood between them. Exposed rafters and a ceiling fan covered the ceiling. The only other furniture were two sets of built-in drawers on either side of a recessed bookshelf.

One of the beds was unmade with an open suitcase, its contents laying haphazardly over the messy green comforter, in the middle of it.

Cappie set his own bag on the unoccupied bed and moved to the window at the far end of the room. Resting one knee on the bench, he parted the heavy, beige colored drapes and looked out over the backyard. He was just in time to see Adam running into Casey's arms and hugging her furiously liked it had been months since he'd last seen her. Russell Cartwright, a man with a distinguished face and blond hair, wearing a pair of beige slacks and a green sweater looked on with Rusty standing at his side.

The sister's chattered on over his shoulder and Cappie finally let the drapes fall back into place and turned back to them. "I see I have a roommate," he commented as he glanced at the unmade bed.

"Rusty said you wouldn't mind sharing with him. We took over his room so he got relocated up here." Rose explained.

"Would you like us to give you a tour of the house?" Daisy asked, taking a step towards him and reaching out for his hand.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I want to say hi to Adam." Cappie answered, trying to casually ignore the offered hand without seeming impolite.

"We'll take you down," Rose chirped not bothering with a hand. She simply latched on to his arm and began to lead him from the room. Daisy hurried after them and grabbed his other arm as soon as she was close enough.

"Rusty says you were in the same fraternity in college?" Rose commented as they made their way back downstairs.

"Yeah, we were," Cappie nodded.

"I think it's nice that the two of you have stayed so close all these years."

"That's the way we are. Kappa Taus - Brothers for life," he smiled uncomfortably as her hand tightened on his bicep and they tried to descend the stairs all at the same time.

His shoulder bumped against Daisy's and she tightened her grip as well. "I haven't managed to stay in touch with any of my sorority sisters since college," Daisy said.

"That's because none of your sisters liked you," Rose retorted drily, delivering the jab to her sister without missing a beat.

"At least I got accepted into a sorority. No one would have you," Daisy replied in with a saccharine sweet tone that belied her words.

They continued that way, throwing insults back and forth all the way to the backdoor.

As soon as Cappie stepped outside in the crisp November air, he disentangled himself from the sisters as politely as he could and took off across the yard towards Rusty and salvation from the bickering pair.

Casey looked up as soon as she saw him and mouthed, 'I'm sorry' as he went past her. He nodded in reply letting her know that he didn't blame her for his misfortune of getting stuck with the sisters.

He didn't quite make to Rusty before Adam left his mother and came running at him full force and attached himself to Cappie's leg. He nearly stumbled at the unexpected weight, but he recovered quickly and reached down to pick the boy up in his arms.

"Hey there, Little Man," he smiled down at him. "Have you been having fun with your Uncle Rusty?"

"We went to the park and I fed the ducks and then we played on the swings and I wanted to go on the monkey bars, but Uncle Rusty wouldn't let me because he said mommy wouldn't like it because they were too dangerous." He delivered the entirety of the speak in one breath, crowding the words together so that it was hard to keep up.

"It sounds like you had a big day," he said as he adjusted the boy on his hip while he walked towards Rusty and his father.

He caught Casey's eyes again over Adam's shoulder and the look she was giving him looked drawn and worried. He almost stopped to ask her about it but the presence of her mother and aunt made him think better of it. He did make a mental note to ask her about it later.

"I did. Uncle Rusty says that I can talk you into playing video games with me later. He says you really like video games and I really like video games and I never have anyone to play with me. Mommy is almost always too busy and Daddy isn't home that much." Still he was talking as if he were afraid that if he didn't say what he wanted to say he'd run out of time. Cappie ran his free hand through the boy's hair, pulling the bangs out of his face and smiling at him.

"It's okay, buddy. I'm not going anywhere. Breathe." He told him.

"So you'll play with me later?" he asked.

"Of course I'll play with you, but your Dad's going to be here, wouldn't you rather play with him?" Cappie suggested.

"He won't. He doesn't like to play games." Adam replied with a shake of his head.

Cappie had reached Rusty and his father by then and he bent down to set Adam back on his feet. "We'll do whatever you want to do later," he assured him as he ruffled his hair.

"Mommy!" he yelled as he took off running towards her. "Mr. Cappie is going to play with me later. Uncle Rusty was right!"

"Cappie, it's nice to see you again," Russell Cartwright said, extending his hand towards Cappie and giving him a welcoming smile.

"You remember me?" he asked, surprised since his wife hadn't.

"Of course I remember you. You were the president of Rusty's fraternity before he took over. We met during Rusty's freshman year. Don't tell me you don't remember me?"

"No, Sir. I remember you. I just didn't think you'd remember me."

"Well, it seems you've made quite an impression on my grandson. He hasn't stopped talking about you since he got here." Russell told him.

"He's a great kid." Cappie nodded.

"We were just talking about breaking out the fishing gear. Would you care to join us?" Russell offered.

Cappie paused, hesitated for a moment as a prang of sadness suddenly jabbed him in the chest. "The last time I went fishing was with my Dad," he mumbled.

"You don't have to come," Rusty jumped in quickly. "It's fine if you'd rather rest or whatever. We understand."

"No," He shook his head. "I think I'd like to come along."

"I'll go get everything together," Rusty offered. Then he headed off towards the shed.

Russell's hands were stuffed in his pockets and he rocked back on his heels as he looked out over Lake Michigan with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Cappie found himself imitating the pose without realizing he was doing it, looking out over the water with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his faded, worn blue jeans.

"It's one of the hardest things a man has to go through in life, losing a father," Russell commented musingly. "I lost mine years ago, but I still think about him all the time, especially here at his place, surrounded by all the things that he loved."

Cappie blinked at the man blankly for a moment, unsure of how to respond. This wasn't something he talked about, not even with those he considered friends. "I lost mine about six years ago." he heard himself saying without really knowing why he was offering the information.

The older man turned his reflective expression on Cappie and considered him for a moment before he cleared his throat and spoke again. "Like I said, I noticed Adam is quite taken with you."

"Yes, Sir, like I said, he's a great kid." Cappie answered.

"I wonder if I might ask you for a favor." Russell said with a bit of hesitation.

"Of course, anything I can do."

"Rusty told me about what's going on with Casey and Richard. I know they aren't using this weekend to fix their marriage. I also know that Casey doesn't want my wife or Adam to know what's really going on until after the holiday." He explained. "I'm inclined to go along with that plan if it means that we can all enjoy a nice Thanksgiving. How about you?"

"I'm just tagging along," Cappie shrugged. "I'll do whatever Casey and Rusty want me to do."

"Well, with that in mind, I don't think Casey and Richard are going to pull this whole thing off. After all I've heard from Rusty about things I can't imagine my daughter is that great an actress."

Cappie shifted from one foot to the other, not sure exactly how much the other man DID, in fact, know. What he knew about Casey and Richard had mostly come from Casey herself, but he wasn't sure how much she'd shared with her brother, who had apparently, in turned, shared with his father. He was becoming confused about what information was common knowledge and what was privileged and he had never liked being in that situation. But apparently Rusty had shared enough to make Russell believe that Casey had every reason for hating Richard so he figured it was safe to agree with him, so he did.

"I'll make you a deal, Son. I'll take care of keeping my wife happy this weekend, if you'll help me do the same for Adam. He deserves to have a good time before his whole world falls apart over this divorce. I'll never understand why, but that boy thinks the world of Richard and this is going to crush him when he finds out. It's another hard thing in life, finding out your father isn't really the man you've always seen him as. I hate that Adam will have to face that so young."

"You don't think Richard will stick around after the divorce?" Cappie asked, having already come to that same conclusion himself.

"From what I know about him now, I think Richard will forget all about this family as soon as the ink dries on the divorce papers, to be honest."

"I'll make you that deal. I'll see to it that Adam has the best holiday he's ever had and I want you to know that I'll be around to help both of them through this. Adam's not the only one that's going to have a hard time." His eyes found Casey and he watched her for a moment before looking back at her father. "She won't admit it, but she's not as okay as she wants everyone to think she is."

Russell's eyes turned to startled surprise for a moment. "I didn't realize you and Casey were close. I thought you were Rusty's friend."

"Casey and I were friends long before I ever met Rusty. She means a lot to me," he admitted readily.

"Well, I'm glad to hear she has someone looking out for her. I worry about her all alone, with a career and trying to raise Adam practically by herself. She takes on more than she can handle sometimes and she's like her mother, she won't admit when she's being pulled too thin. She's like a dog with a bone. She can't back down from anything."

Cappie nodded in agreement. "Yes, Sir, that's her, alright."

Rusty reappeared at that moment loaded down with an array of fishing poles and tackle boxes. He barely had a chance to set everything down before Adam came running up. "Can I come?" he asked enthusiastically.

Cappie glanced over at Casey who was looking doubtfully at the situation.

"He'll be fine," Cappie called to her. "I'll guard him with my life."

Finally, after much pleading from Adam, she shook her head and gave them a smile. "You'd better. Remember, you have to be extra careful."

"Yes, Mom!" Cappie answered as he hefted the boy up again and settled him on his hip as the four of them made their way towards the dock.


	13. Chapter 13

Somehow she just seemed to know the minute his car pulled into the gravel drive in front of the house. Her shoulders tensed and the bottom of her stomach dropped the moment someone opened the front door and she heard his voice.

He had finally arrived. She felt guilty for admitting it, even to herself, but she had been holding on to the hope that he might not show. She knew it was wrong. Adam wanted to see his fath-. She stopped the thought in it's tracks as she realized for the first time that Richard wasn't Adam's father. She'd known it already, having put those pieces together for herself, but she hadn't really thought about it in those terms.

Richard had no hold on Adam, legally anyway and that was something of a relief. A small part of her had always worried that he might use custody of Adam in his ongoing mission of finding ways to hurt her. Now that she knew the truth, that wouldn't be an option readily available to him and she felt better for knowing it. Now if only she could figure out a way of telling Cappie without him hating her for keeping it from him, that would be something.

"Casey!" her mother called as she stepped into the kitchen and found her putting the finishing touches on a pumpkin pie for the next day's festivities. "Richard's finally here. Where is Adam?"

"Upstairs playing the X-Box." Rusty supplied helpfully from the other side of the butcher block island that set in the center of the kitchen.

Her mother turned her eyes towards Casey. "Well, go get him. His father wants to see him. It was the first thing he said when he came in."

Casey put the pie in the preheated oven before heading upstairs to collect her son.

She heard him squealing and laughing from halfway up the stairs. It was an exited, rambunctious laugh that wasn't normal for him. He wasn't an overly excitable child. He wasn't given to fits of hyperactivity under typical circumstances.

She wasn't surprised when she quietly opened the bedroom door at the end of the hall and found Adam in the middle of the bed with Cappie hovering over him, tickling him mercilessly.

Cappie seemed to sense her presence because he immediately stopped and looked over his shoulder at her with an abashed expression on his handsome face.

"We were playing Mario Kart. He lost," he said with an embarrassed shrug.

Then he got off the bed and came to stand in front of her, blocking Adam from her view as if he were afraid she was about to scold him for being too loud. "I'm sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn't have gotten him so wound up this late. And before you say it, I was being careful with him."

She put her hand on his shoulder to stop him and gave him a smile. "It's okay, really. I'm not here to get on to him, or you, for that matter." She lowered her eyes as the smile slipped from her face and Cappie seemed to read her expression without needing the words to accompany it.

"He's here?" he asked, quietly enough that only she could hear him. Adam was still flopping around on the bed and giggling.

She nodded solemnly.

Cappie nodded in return and turned back to the little boy. "Hey, Little Man, your Dad's here."

Adam bolted upright. "Really? He's here? Right now?" he asked as he scrambled off the bed, nearly tripping as his feet got tangled in the displaced comforter.

Cappie immediately reached out to steady him and at the same time bent down so he was on the same level with him. "How about a ride downstairs?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed, quickly climbing onto his back with Casey lending him a hand for balance.

"If we let him go by himself, he's so wound up, he'll trip and fall all the way down the stairs," Cappie smiled at her.

"You're probably right," she agreed as she lead them from the room.

Cappie set Adam down at the bottom of the stairs and the little boy took off like a rocket the minute his feet touched down.

"He's in the living room with Grandpa. Don't run in the house!" Casey called after him as she watched him go. Then she turned back to Cappie with a renewed smile. "Sometimes I feel like that's all I ever say to him anymore."

Cappie nodded. "Well, he does run in the house a lot."

She reached out and touched his hand. "Can we maybe go for a walk? There's something we need to talk about."

"Sure," he shrugged. "Just let me grab my jacket."

He turned to head back up the stairs and he had just disappeared when Casey heard a throat being cleared behind her.

"Weren't you even planning on saying hello?" Richard asked when she turned and found him standing in the archway that lead to the living room.

"Not if I could avoid it," she muttered under her breath.

He stepped closer to her and gave her a smile that oozed sweetness. "I thought we were going to try to be civil to each other for everyone's sake this weekend."

She closed the distance between them with gritted teeth and gave him a grudging hug. "Hello, Richard," she said as she stepped out of his arms. "How have you been? How's Jill?" She said his girlfriend's name hostilely, with clenched teeth and a sharp edge to her tone.

Richard's strong, arched, dark brows furrowed even as he forced a smile to his full, pink lips. "Jill is fine. She sends her love."

Casey's attention went to the doorway behind his lean, tall form as Adam scampered towards them with a piece of paper in his hands. "Here it is, Daddy. I made it for you earlier today."

Richard reached out and took the paper, glancing at it for a moment before giving Adam a smile. "It's very nice. What is it?"

"It's a picture of his fishing trip this afternoon. His grandpa, Uncle Rusty and I went with him," Cappie answered as he came down the stairs.

Richard glanced up at him for only a moment before glancing back at Adam. "That's Cappie. He's my new best friend!" Adam announced happily.

"Is that right?" Richard asked. "And you drew me a picture of him," he paused before adding, "and you and your Uncle Rusty and your Grandpa. How nice. I'll tell you what," He handed the paper back to Adam. "How about you go and put this on the fridge for me so nothing will happen to it? I'd hate for it to get messed up."

"Okay" Adam answered. He stopped at the stairs where Cappie was still standing and gave him a broad smile. "That's my Daddy!" he beamed proudly.

Cappie ruffled his hair and smiled back at him, but didn't say anything in response.

The minute Adam left the room the tension in the air increased to something nearly suffocating as Casey stood there between the two of them. She finally cleared her throat and took a step back towards Cappie. "Richard, this is Cappie," she introduced them.

Cappie stepped forward and politely offered Richard his hand. Richard took it and they shook briefly.

"I've heard a lot about you," Cappie said in way of greeting.

"Oh, not nearly as much as I've heard about you," Richard supplied as he cut his eyes towards Casey.

Casey bristled but refused to acknowledge her ex-husband's inside joke.

It had always been something he used against her when he was aiming to wound her the deepest. One night, after nearly an entire bottle of wine, Casey had found herself feeling nostalgic and she'd told Richard all about her time at CRU and about Cappie in particular. It had been a source of turmoil between them ever since. Richard was a shrewd man. He'd known that night, even in her drunkenness how much Cappie had meant to her. And since that night, he brought up Cappie's name frequently when he was feeling especially mean-spirited.

The man in question shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as Casey and Richard stood there staring at each other, yet saying nothing.

"Do you still want to take that walk?" he asked, breaking the silence.

Casey felt him nudge her hand and something about his touch seemed to break her out of her fog of hatred and put her back in the present. "Yes, I do. I'll just let Mom know were going," she answered.

"I'll do that. You two go and enjoy yourself." Richard offered.

Casey brushed past him on her way to the living room. "Like you would tell her," she muttered.

She stuck her head into the room, announced her plans and swiftly darted past him again, doing her best to keep out of his reach. Touching him wasn't something she ever wanted to do again.

She closed the door behind her and felt the tension in her shoulders give way immediately in response.

Cappie was a step in front of her, but he turned back when he realized she wasn't right behind him. Instead she'd taken a moment to sag against the door.

"Wow, he really gets to you, doesn't he?" he said with a wary smile.

"Yes, he does and he knows all the right buttons to push, too," she admitted readily.

He reached out and took hold of her hand, pulling her away from the door and placing his arm around her the second she was close enough. "Are you sure you can handle this weekend?"

She shook her head. "I don't have a choice."

"It doesn't look like he plans to make it easy for you."

"Of course he doesn't. He wouldn't be him if he made this easy."

They were stepping off the porch now. "Where to Milady?" he asked at the bottom of the steps.

"Anywhere but here," she answered, letting him lead them where ever he wanted to go.

The pace he sat was an ambling one as they made their way down the drive that was lit only by the the strands of moonlight shining through the shady trees. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Casey stumbled and it nearly caused him to stumble as well, but he managed to right them both quickly enough. The chill in the air caused a rash of goosebumps to raise on her arms and she glanced at his denim jacket and wished suddenly that she had had as much forethought. Again, as if he were reading her mind, he shrugged the jacket from his shoulders and wrapped it around hers instead.

She'd been using the time to try to formulate the right combination of words to tell him about her suspicions about Adam, but by the time he began looking at her expectantly she still had nothing. Which was ironic, since one of things that propelled her to her position in Washington was her gift for speech writing.

"It was nothing important," she lied, unable to make herself say the words she needed to say. "I just needed to get out for a minute. It was all becoming too much."

He accepted that with a knowing nod and let his eyes turn towards the star-filled sky and the full moon hanging overhead. "I have had the best time today," he announced. "Adam is awesome."

"He's something," she agreed. "I still can't believe that I'm responsible for making that. It amazes me every time I look at him."

"Tomorrow, we are going to watch the parade while you guys cook. I figured it would be a good way of keeping both of us out of everyone's way," he said.

Casey stopped walking and their joined hands caused him to stop as well. "I really appreciate you taking so much time with him. He doesn't get near as much attention as he deserves sometimes." She looked away feeling a bit ashamed of the admittance. "There is just always so much that needs doing."

He took her other hand in his and squeezed them both. "No one is blaming you for that. Of course you're busy. I know men that do what you do and have no time for anything else. You somehow manage your high powered, full time job along with being a full time mother and you make it look way too easy."

"Do I?" she asked, wrinkling her nose and giving him doubtful eyes. "I always feel like I'm juggling all these balls in the air and any second they're going to start falling and there won't be anything I can do to stop it."

He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her. "You know you aren't as alone as you think you are. Rusty is here. Your parents are willing to help if you need them and I'm here."

"I'm really glad you're here," she said, snuggling down into his embrace and just enjoying the feel of his arms for a while longer before pulling away and starting back towards the house again. "I need to check on the pies," She told him at his disappointed expression when he realized where she was leading him. "And it's almost time for dinner."

He stopped her when they got to the porch. "You're sure you can do this?"

"Like I said, I don't have a choice. Besides," she gave his hand another squeeze. "I'll be fine as long as you're here."

Rusty was setting the table when they came in and Cappie immediately jumped in to help him. After checking on the pies, Casey helped her Aunt Lucy get the rest of the dinner together.

There were a few awkward moments as everyone stood around the table trying to figure out where to sit. Her mother and father took their customary places at either end of the large, oval shaped table. Everyone else just seemed to snag whatever chair was closest to them. Casey ended up in the middle of one side with Adam on her left and Richard on her right. Cappie was directly opposite from her with each of the sisters, Rose and Daisy, on his side. He glanced across the expanse of the table and gave her a reassuring smile while Casey did her best to ignore the man sitting beside her.

The conversation was hushed, the topics banal. Football, the weather, her parent's work, Rusty's work, nothing that ruffled feathers or caused tension and Casey was grateful for that. She was already tense enough. Adam ate quietly, devouring his plate of spaghetti with gusto and gulping down his glass of juice. When he was done, he politely folded his napkin on his plate and asked if he could be excused.

She saw Cappie roll his eyes, but he didn't say anything this time.

"Yes, you may," she answered.

The little boy got out of his chair, took up his plate and disappeared into the kitchen with it. He returned a few moments later and paused in the doorway. His big blue eyes darted for an uncertain second from his father, who was caught up in a conversation with Rusty and not paying him any mind and Cappie, who was watching him to see what he was going to do.

Finally, he came around the table to Cappie. "Can we play another game when you get excused from the table?"

He glanced across at Casey and she nodded at him with a smile. "How about we get you a bath?" Cappie suggested, folding his own napkin on his plate and easing his chair back from the table. "Then we can play another game before bed."

Adam scrunched his little face up disagreeably. "I don't like baths, but if you'll come with me, okay."

Cappie took his plate into the kitchen and Casey looked on as Richard finally let his attention rest on his son.

"I'll come up and tuck you in before bed." He told him.

Adam nodded and beamed him a smile. "You could play a game with us, if you want," he offered.

Richard squirmed for a second before adopting his normal easy smile. "We'll see. I need to unpack and it was a pretty long flight."

Cappie had just reentered the room and caught the last of the conversation. He also took in Adam's disappointment before he came up and took hold of the little boy's hand. "Let's go get that bath so we can get to playing," he said and Adam let him pull him from the room.

The conversation started back up not long after the door swung closed behind them.

"Cappie seems to have taken quite the interest in my son," Richard said just loud enough for her to hear through a set of perfectly white, perfectly straight, clenched teeth.

Casey swallowed the bite of food she was chewing and took a drink from her water glass. "I think it's more like Adam has taken an interest in Cappie. But then what do you expect, all he wants is your attention, but you're always too busy for him." She sat her glass back down and turned to him pointedly. "I guess he's a lot like you after all. If he can't get what he wants at home, he goes somewhere else to find it. Isn't that what you told me was your reason for having another woman in my bed?"

She started to get up and grab her plate, but he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. "I was hoping that we might go find a place to talk."

"I thought you were tired and needed to unpack," she smiled at him bitterly.

He lowered his voice even further and tossed a furtive glance over his shoulder. "Careful, Sweetheart, your mother is watching. We wouldn't want her to think you aren't willing to give this marriage a chance, would we? After all, that is why I'm here."

Casey took a deep breath and grabbed his plate up along with hers. "Fine, let me just put these away."

"I'll get the dishes. Rose and Daisy can help me," Rusty offered at seeing the building conflict between them. "You two go and do whatever you need to do."

Casey gave him a tight smile, but left the plates where they were and let Richard led her from the room.

They ended up in the living room. It was a large room with a wall of windows that looked out over Lake Michigan, a fire surrounded by a rustic, rough wood mantle, exposed rafters in the ceiling and several pieces of over stuffed, comfortable looking, dark green furniture. Beside each of piece sat a round, pine, glass topped end table and in the middle of the set a matching coffee table took up it's spot in front of a forest green patterned rug. Bookshelves lined the wall on either side of the mantle. The other walls were paneled in a dark wood that matched the rafters and fireplace. The floor was covered in a deep pile, beige carpet. It was a cozy room and one of Casey's favorites in the house.

She took up one of the armchairs sitting to the side of the couch while Richard went to the bar in the back corner of the room and poured himself a drink without bothering to ask Casey if she wanted one as well. Then he came to sit on the corner of the couch closest to her and got comfortable by crossing his legs and leaning against the arm of it.

"I want to talk about what we are going to do about Adam," he announced, letting his eyes rest on her.

Casey shifted, suddenly very uncomfortable, but managed to hide it well enough by crossing her legs as well. "What do you mean?"

"Visiting arrangements," he clarified. "I was hoping that we might be able to reach an agreement that was amicable for both of us without having to bring lawyers into this. I figure the more we can work out on our own, the less messy this whole court business will be." He uncrossed his legs and sat up. "You look a little surprised. Surely, you knew we'd have to talk about this eventually."

"I guess I just wasn't expecting you to want any kind of visitation agreement," she said.

He sat up straighter still and downed a healthy gulp of his drink. "Don't be ridiculous. He's my son. Of course I'll want to see him."

She clenched her teeth, wanting so badly to correct him, but stopping herself at the last minute. This wasn't the time for that. She had to talk to Cappie first. He deserved to be the first to know what she was certain was true.

"I'm sure we can work something out," she said, finally, nearly biting her tongue as she swallowed the rising bile in her throat at the thought of letting Richard take Adam away from her for any amount of time. It was a selfish instinct. She knew that and it wasn't even about Richard. It was about Adam. Adam loved Richard for whatever reason and she wouldn't keep him away from him just out of spite. It wouldn't be fair to her son.

"I was thinking that I could take him one weekend a month, maybe more often depending on my work schedule," Richard suggested as he sat back and crossed his legs again.

"One weekend a month?" Casey asked, incredulously. "Are you sure you can afford to take that much time out of your life for him?"

He eyed her over his glass with unfriendly eyes before taking a drink. Then he waved his hand at her. "I'm a very busy man. I work all the time, you know that and then there's Jill and the baby to think about."

"So she is pregnant?"

"Yes," he nodded and Casey felt the urge to throw something at him at seeing the happiness on his face. "She's due in April. We're having a girl."

Casey took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I think we can manage one weekend a month, provided," she paused and found his eyes, narrowing her own and locking onto his gaze. "You agree to few conditions."

"Conditions?" he said, sitting up again. "My aren't we feeling feisty? To what do we owe this new improved Casey? Is this the influence of the great and powerful Cappie come to bare?" His tone was sarcastic and catty, ridiculously so and for the first time Casey had to fight off the urge to laugh at him instead of suppress the tears that normally sprang to her eyes when he was being like that towards her.

A quiet chuckled escaped from her lips before she could bite it back and he looked startled by the sound. "I guess maybe it is, but mostly this is about Adam not getting hurt. I won't let you toy with him Richard. You either agree to the conditions or I'll see you in court and we can let a judge decide whether I'm being unreasonable."

"I haven't said you were being unreasonable yet. I haven't even heard your 'conditions'." He uttered the word mockingly like he thought the whole thing was a tasteless joke.

"Okay first off, when you say you will be there to pick him up, you will be there to pick him up. There won't be any last minute cancellations or backing out. I won't spend that one weekend a month consoling him because you can't be bothered to keep your plans with him."

Richard inclined his head towards her just slightly. "I can agree to that."

"I want to know that you will be spending that weekend with him, not pawning him off on your assistance or Jill or your sister. He's going to want to spend that time with you, not your lackeys," she continued.

"Work permitting, he'll have my undivided attention," he answered.

Casey got to her feet, suddenly very angry. "No, Richard. Not work permitting," she fumed. "I understand that your job is important, but so is mine and I still manage to spend time with him and I promise it's more than one weekend. If I can do it all the time, then you can put aside your precious job for him for forty-eight hours. The world won't explode without you for that long."

"I can't make that promise. I have deadlines. I never know when a story will break that needs my attention," he argued.

"Then I can't agree to this deal." She told him, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

He studied her for a long time, expecting no doubt that she would cave under the intensity of his stare like she normally did. This time however she simply stuck her chin out and glared right back at him, unwilling to back down even an inch.

Finally he huffed, drained the last of his drink in one gulp and got to his feet to refill the glass. "Fine, I agree," he mumbled though she barely caught the words since he had his back to her.

She nodded, satisfied at having won the small victory. But she wasn't done yet. "If you plan to take him out of D.C. I want to know. I expect to be told where you're going and I expect him back on time, every time, unless you have a really good reason."

He spun on her abruptly and she almost shied away from the quickness of the movement. "You must be joking!" he spat. "I will not be told where I can take my son. I don't have to run my itinerary by you to be approved."

"If you plan on leaving town with him, yes, you do," she answered, steeling her words and her shoulders against his anger.

"Oh really? And do you plan on seeking out my approval every time you want to leave town with him?" he asked, taking a step towards her. She thought the move was made purposefully to see if she would retreat. It was another of his tricks, another of his ways to get her to back down. He towered over her by nearly a foot and he wasn't above using that size advantage as a means intimidation. This time she simply dug her heels into the carpet under her feet and reinforced the tightness of her arms crossed at her chest.

"I'll be his custodial parent, remember? That gives me certain rights and privileges that you won't have. I'll be the one that's there for every cold, every skinned knee, every bad grade, everything, while you get to play daddy for a measly forty-eight hours out of every month. So we're going to do this my way."

"You may be his custodial parent, but I'll still be his father and that affords me some rights as well," he told her smugly and it took everything inside her to push back the words that would wipe the smugness from his face permanently.

"Casey!" she heard her name being called from somewhere in the house and she gave Richard one last contemptuous look before heading off to find whoever was beckoning her.

"We aren't done with this conversation!" Richard called after her.

"We are for now," she answered without turning back to him.


	14. Chapter 14

"I only turned my back on him for a second," Cappie was saying as she trailed into the bathroom behind Rusty, who had called her. "I just went to get his towel and he banged his elbow on the side of the tub while I was gone."

She put her hand on his chest for a moment and paused long enough to give him a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Cap. He's a little boy. These things happen. I'm sure he's fine."

Cappie ran a hand through his hair roughly and stepped aside to give her enough room to get to the bathroom counter where Adam was sitting, wrapped in a fluffy, blue towel and holding his arm to his chest.

She took his arm in her hands gingerly as she eyed his elbow. "Does it tingle?" she asked him and Adam shook his head negatively. "No, it just hurts."

She turned his arm over to get a better look at it and felt her heart rate slow back down to a more normal pace when she saw that it wasn't distended or even bruising, for that matter.

"I told Cappie it was okay, but he made Uncle Rusty get you anyway," Adam said as he pulled his arm out of her hands. "I didn't hit it very hard, just hard enough to make it hurt, not enough to make it bleed. I don't understand why they call it a funny bone. It isn't very funny when you hit it."

Casey shook her head at the nonplussed attitude her son had towards his illness. He never let it slow him down and she was glad for that. She didn't want him to see himself as different from other kids, though it was nice to know that he DID understand he was different. He was a smart boy, knowing when an injury was bad enough to be worth mentioning and knowing when it wasn't. Still she couldn't help that worry that seized her every time even the smallest injury occurred. Being only a very mild hemophiliac, there had only been a handful of times that he'd been hurt bad enough to seek out medical attention, still the thought of what could happen always loomed on the horizon, a heavy weight resting over her head all the time.

She helped him down from the counter and turned back to a distraught looking Cappie standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Adam stopped in front of him on his way out of the room and held up his arm for his inspection. "See, it's not bad. I'll be okay. I'm going to go get the game started."

Cappie smiled down at him, but it was a halfhearted, troubled smile. "I'll be right there. Your pajamas are on the bed."

Adam nodded and left her, Rusty and Cappie in the tiny, cramped bathroom.

"I'll just go help him," Casey said, slipping past her brother and Cappie as she followed him. She stopped in the hall as their voices carried to her and caused her to pause abruptly.

"I told you. Adam knows when it's bad," Rusty said.

"How can he know? He's five years old." Cappie muttered.

"He really does know. He can tell. His doctor and Casey have taught him the signs and he knows to tell us when he feels one of them."

"My dad -" Cappie started to say, then he stopped and instead she heard him say, "He's five?" It was the out of the blue way he asked the question that got Casey's attention and made her stop in her tracks. Something in his voice as he asked the question said that it was the first time he'd really thought about that number in a certain way. She knew she'd mentioned Adam's age before, but apparently, Cappie had been too preoccupied by other events to pay it much mind before now. Maybe it was a combination of all the information he'd been processing over the last few days that caused the tone in his voice to sound as if he were putting pieces of a puzzle together that she didn't want him to solve on his own like this.

"When did he turn five?" Cappie asked.

"The ninth of November," Rusty supplied and Casey felt her pulse racing all over again. "Why?"

"I was just wondering," was all she heard Cappie say in response, but the weight of those words rested in the pit of her stomach as she imagined the thoughts running through his head.

He knows. Or at least, he suspects, she thought.

She heard movement and realized one of them was coming out of the room. Not ready to face Cappie alone yet, she took off down the hall after Adam in a rush.

She was just tugging the spider man pajama shirt over Adam's head when she heard someone step into the room behind her.

"The game's all ready to go!" Adam announced as he tugged the shirt down and crawled to the end of the bed to snatch up one of the controllers.

Casey got to her feet and turned towards the door slowly, not sure she wanted to see the expression on his face. What she found in the doorway surprised her.

Richard was there instead of Cappie with his blue shirtsleeves rolled up around his elbows, the top few buttons of his shirt undone and a lazy smile on his face.

"I met Cappie in the hall and asked if he wouldn't mind me spending a little alone time with my son," he answered her puzzled expression. "He looked pretty distracted, so he didn't seem to mind. I hope nothing is wrong."

Casey tried to quiet the huff that was itching to be released from her chest as she brushed past where he was still standing in the doorway. "Bedtime is in half an hour. Make sure he turns the game off and gets tucked in by then."

"Come on, Case," he scoffed. "It's a holiday. Let loose a little. I promise not to keep him up too late."

"Fine," she said, without giving it much thought. "I'll be back in a little while."

"It's fine. I've got this. You go see to Cappie. He really did look a little upset for some reason."

Casey again, really wanted to tell him all about what was upsetting Cappie, but again, she refrained and turned on her heel before either of them could say anything else.

She caught sight of Rusty just about to descend the stairs that lead up to the attic and she stopped him. "Have you seen Cappie?"

"He said something about needing some air. I think he went outside," he answered and started for the stairs again. Then he stopped and turned back to her. "Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

"Why would you ask that? Did he say something to you?" she asked, taking a few steps closer to him.

"No, he didn't say anything. It's just..." he paused as if he were searching for the right words. "He just starting acting weird after Adam got hurt and then he took off out of nowhere. I thought maybe you might know what's wrong with him."

"I might," she answered having made the decision already in her head. Rusty had become something of a confidant for her. She could talk to him about things that she normally didn't share with others. She talked to him about her marriage, about Richard and all the awful things he'd ever done to her. She talked to him about work and all the stresses that went along with it. They'd found a closeness in the little amount of time they spent together since they shared the CRU campus.

And right now, she needed someone to talk to. So she grabbed his hand and hauled him up the stairs behind her, not stopping until they were shut off in his room with the door firmly closed behind them.

"I think I really screwed up," she said, dropping his hand and going to flop down on the window seat.

"How? What did you do?" he demanded. "Did something happen in Texas? I thought you both said things went really well."

She shook her head before dropping it into her hands. "This isn't about Texas. It's about Adam."

"What about Adam? Cappie really likes him and Adam likes him, too. How could you have screwed that up?" he asked, coming to sit on the bed he'd claimed as his. It brought him close to her, close enough that their knees almost brushed against each other.

"I think..." she stopped, not sure how to make the words come out of her mouth. They were right there on the tip of her tongue, but getting them past her lips was proving to be a problem. Maybe it was because hearing them out loud would somehow make them true. Maybe it was because the minute she admitted her suspicions to someone else she wouldn't be able to push them away any longer. She would have to deal with it. Whatever the reason, she just couldn't make the words come out.

"Casey, what's going on? You know you can tell me anything," Rusty said, reaching out to touch her knee.

"Richard isn't Adam's father," she blurted out quickly, making the words run together in their race over her tongue.

Rusty dropped his hand from her and sat back, blinking at her uncomprehendingly for a handful of drawn out moments. "What?" he finally said after wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue.

She sat up and squared her shoulders, determined to get through this conversation. If she couldn't have it with Rusty, how would she ever able to have it with Richard or worse yet, Cappie. "There is strong evidence that suggests that Richard may not be Adam's biological father."

"What kind of evidence? What are you talking about?" he asked, getting to his feet and moving to the foot of the bed to give himself some room to pace.

"Well, there's the fact that Adam looks nothing like Richard for starters. Haven't you ever wondered about that? Richard has black hair and dark eyes and olive skin. All of those are dominant traits, yet there's Adam with light brown hair and blue eyes and pale skin," she explained. "Hasn't that ever seemed odd to you?"

He stopped pacing for a moment and just looked at her. "This is your strong evidence? The fact that he doesn't look like Richard? You don't look anything like Mom. We never claimed you were adopted. I don't look at all like Dad, but no one ever questioned whether I was his or not."

She rolled her eyes. "I've always assumed you were adopted." She told him. "Besides, there's more."

"What more?" he prompted, resting his hands on his hips.

"Well, no one in either of our families has even a trace of any kind of blood order," she went on. "Yet, Adam is a hemophiliac."

"The doctors said it was rare for it to come up like that, but not impossible. Besides, if he isn't Richard's who's is he?"

It was the question she'd been waiting for him to ask since they'd started this whole conversation. She'd been surprised it had taken him so long. She looked away from him and found the floor. "Cappie's dad was a hemophiliac," she muttered quietly. Then she looked up at him and tried to ignore the horror on his face. "Did you know that?"

"No, I didn't. He's never mentioned it to me," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I just found out on the way to Texas. When I told him about Adam, he told me about his dad," she nodded. "Believe me, I was as shocked as you look right now."

He came around the bed and slumped down on it's edge. "But how? I thought you hadn't seen each other since college. That was seven years ago and Adam is only five. You can't argue with math, Case."

"I might have ran into him once since college," she said, looking away again.

"Let me guess, sometime in say, February, five years ago?"

"Maybe," she mumbled in answer.

He shook himself suddenly as if everything had finally sunk into his brain. "You have to tell him," he announced with more than a little urgency. "He has to hear it from you."

"I think he already knows. I think that's why he took off like he did."

"But, he needs to hear this from you. If he doesn't, he'll think you kept this from him on purpose and he'll never be able to understand why. Not after everything else he's been through."

"I would never do that. I wouldn't keep anything like this from him on purpose. He has to know that," she said with all her focus on Rusty.

That's why she didn't notice the door opening on the other side of the room. "You know," he said, stepping inside. "I thought I knew that. Especially after everything I told you about Rebecca, but it sure looks like you've been keeping things from me when you're standing on this side of things."


	15. Chapter 15

Casey looked up quickly and met Cappie's eyes with her own. He just stood there with his back against the door, hands stuffed in his pockets, waiting for her to either confirm or deny his obvious suspicions.

Rusty got to his feet immediately. "I think that's my cue to find somewhere else to be," he announced as he sped quickly to the door.

Cappie stepped aside and let him pass without taking his eyes off of Casey.

She stood up on shaky legs and took a step towards him. "You have to believe me. I had no idea until a few days ago. It never occurred to me."

"What never occurred to you, Case?" he asked, taking his own step closer to her.

She wet her lips and cleared her throat before taking a deep breath. This shouldn't be this hard. He already knew. That was evident from the look on his face. All he wanted was for her to say it out loud.

"I think Adam might be your son, not Richard's," she said, staring at a place on the floor between them.

When she raised her eyes to him, she was completely at a lose to decipher the look on his face. He said nothing, instead, simply he nodded as he came to his bed and sat down.

"Say something," she said after too much time had passed without anything from him.

"I'm not sure what to say," he replied. "I mean, I'd already guessed as much all on my own, but hearing it is different, somehow."

She came to sit on the other bed, right in front of him. "I'm so sorry, Cappie. I really didn't know until you told me about your father. I would never have kept something like this from you."

He shook his head, but otherwise remained completely still. "I know that. I know you didn't do this on purpose."

Then suddenly he got up and started towards the door. Casey got to her own feet as well. "Where are you going? We should talk about this," she said, trying to stop him.

"I'll be back," he answered over his shoulder. "I just need..." He didn't finish the sentence before he was gone leaving the door open in his wake.

A moment later, Rusty stuck his head into the room and looked around. "Is it over? Where did he go?"

"I don't know. He didn't say," she said shaking her head and sinking back onto the bed.

"Well, was he mad?" Rusty pressed.

"I would say more shocked than anything else. I think the mad will come when it all catches up to him."

Rusty took a step into the room and put his hands on his hips again. "Are you just going to sit there?" he asked her.

"What else should I do? He said he'd be back." Casey told him.

"Go find him, Case. Make sure he's okay. All this is going to be a lot for him to take, especially after-"

"I know everything with Rebecca and Pam and Emily," she finished before he had a chance. "I know."

"Then go after him."

Casey thought about it for a moment before she got up and headed down the stairs to search him out. She didn't have to look very hard. He was standing outside the door right across the hall from the stairs, the one where Adam and Richard were inside playing their game.

He had the door cracked just enough for him to see inside and he was just standing there watching silently. She thought about turning and going back upstairs. If he needed a moment to himself to absorb all this, she could give it to him. But before she had a chance, he turned his head towards her and gestured for her to join him. She eased under his arm so she could see into the room as well and the anger was suddenly raging through her once again, full force.

Adam was laying on his stomach facing away from them, with the game controller clutched in his small hand as his bright, alert eyes danced across the screen in front of him. Richard was sitting with his back against the bed's headboard with a newspaper opened in front of him, completely oblivious to what Adam was doing.

Casey pushed the door opened all the way, despite Cappie's attempt to pull her back and barged into the room. Her first instinct was to grab the paper out of Richard's hand and make him eat it, but she didn't. She wouldn't fight with him in front of Adam. It would only serve to put the little boy in a position he didn't deserve to be in, caught between two people that he loved. That wasn't fair to him.

"It's bedtime," she announced to the room in general. "Time to turn off the game."

Adam tossed her a look over her shoulder but went right back to playing his game, ignoring her for the moment.

She put her hands on her hips. Richard had folded the paper against his chest and was now sitting back watching the scene play out in front of him. It was also typical of him, staying out of the way and letting her be the 'bad guy' when it came to Adam.

"I said it's bedtime," she repeated herself, louder this time.

Adam punched a button on the controller to pause the game, then he pushed himself up on his knees and turned around to face her. "Daddy said I could stay up and play as long as I want since it's a holiday and I don't have to go to school tomorrow."

Casey threw an evil glare towards Richard which he simply shrugged, nonplussed, to in response to.

"Well, Daddy isn't making the rules tonight. I am and I say it's bedtime. If you don't go to bed now, you won't want to get up in the morning to watch the parade. Then you'll be sad because you missed it."

"But I want to play my game," Adam whined at her and the tone of his voice was like nails down a chalkboard for her. Whining was something she'd never managed to handle well. She hated the sound. She'd hated it when Rusty was young and used it to get his way and she hated it now when Adam tried the tactic.

She folded her arms over her chest and gave her son the look that told him she was no longer playing with him. He called it her 'I mean it' look. Rusty said the look was exactly the same as the one their mother used when she had had enough of them. "I'm giving you a chance right now, young man. Save your game and turn it off. If you don't, I'm going to turn it off myself and you'll lose everything, and there will no game tomorrow."

It was something her mother wouldn't have done. She didn't think about things like that. She'd have just walked over and snatched the plug for the machine from the wall. But Casey was a child from a generation of video game players. Rusty or even Cappie would have been devastated to have played a game all evening only to have someone come along and flip the off switch.

Adam sat there on his knees staring at her for another handful of seconds before he let out a huff, picked up the controller he'd tossed aside and went about saving his game.

Casey took the time to glare at Richard, who'd sat by and watched the incident without comment. He returned Casey's glare with another shrug that told her this was her fight and he wanted no part of it, as usual. Then he got to his feet and folded his paper under his arm.

"Well, Goodnight, Sport," he said to Adam. "I'll see you in the morning."

Adam turned back to him, no doubt to remind him that he'd promised to tuck him in, but Richard had already brushed out of the room before he got the chance.

Adam's little body sank back onto his heels as he stared at the door sadly.

Casey went to the bed and folded the blankets back for him, biting back her anger at her son's expression.

"He said he was going to tuck me in," Adam said, quietly with his eyes still on the door.

"I know," Casey said, pulling him to her and hugging him tightly. "I'm sure he just forgot."

"He forgets things a lot," Adam replied. "It's because he's so busy all the time. He has too much in his brain to remember everything."

"I'm sure that's it," she smiled as she laid him down and folded the blankets around him.

"Do you think Cappie is too busy to tuck me in? Or maybe Grandpa or Uncle Rusty?" he asked, looking at her hopefully.

"I think I can find one of them," she answered. "I'll bet I can even get one of them to read you your story."

It was a bedtime ritual she was diligent in observing. Not only because she liked to use the story as an excuse to spend some quiet alone time with him, but also because she wanted to instill an appreciation for reading in her son.

"Grandpa read to me last night when you weren't here yet," Adam informed her. Then he leaned up and lowered his voice, whispering conspiratorially. "He isn't very good at it."

Casey chuckled. "No, grandma was the one that always read to your Uncle Rusty and I when we were little."

"Aunt Lucy just got here last night and she was with them, so I only had grandpa. I had to help him a little," he explained.

She laughed again. "You had to help him?"

"He couldn't see the words very good," he answered.

"very well," she corrected him, offhandedly.

"very well. He couldn't see the words very well," he repeated.

She pulled the blankets a little tighter around him and kissed him on the forehead. "Alright. Grandpa will be a last resort. I promise."

As she turned back to the door, she wondered where Cappie had gone. He'd been at the door with her only a few moments before. She figured he might have joined her in getting Adam to bed and maybe even offered to read to him. But when she turned she saw that he was no longer in the doorway.

Her questions were answered a moment later when she stepped out into the hall and found the troubling scene playing out in front of her. Cappie was standing in the middle of the hall. Richard was hardly more than an arm's length away from him and Rusty had somehow found himself in the middle of the two, arced between them with one hand on each of their chests as if he were holding the distance between them.

"What the hell is going on here?" Casey asked, stepping in front of Rusty and placing herself between them as well. It looked as if he could use the reinforcement.

She took a moment to be thankful that they had had the presence of mind to keep whatever was happening between them quiet enough that Adam hadn't overheard it.

Neither man spoke as they stood there glaring at each other, Richard sticking his chin out like a petulant child and Cappie with a dangerous look in his eye that said what precious little control he was holding on to was going to snap any moment.

She caught Cappie's eye and dragged his attention away from Richard for a moment. But it was only a moment. He glanced at her but his eyes went immediately back where they had been resting.

She decided to switch tactics. Cappie was too angry at the moment to reason with. She turned to Richard. "What did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did anything?" he asked, but he also took a step back giving Rusty a chance to drop one of his arms at least.

Casey figured the best solution would be to get them away from each other. So she stepped in front of Cappie again. "Adam wanted to know if you would read him a story," she said and the minute she said Adam's name his face softened but only a little. "He asked for you specifically," she added seeing that this strategy might be working.

He took a deep breath as if gathering himself, then nodded curtly and took off towards Adam's room.

Casey whipped herself around and narrowed her eyes at Richard the moment he was out of sight. "What the hell did you say to him?"

Richard held out his hands in mock innocence. "I didn't say anything. He just tried to grab me. It was a lucky thing Rusty happened by. I think he was going to hit me. Your friend has some anger management issues you might want to address."

Rusty let out a sigh and rolled his eyes as if he'd been trying to determine whether he wanted to put himself in the middle of the situation and had finally decided he couldn't keep quiet any longer. He turned disappointed eyes to Richard and shook his head. "I heard you. That's why I showed up. I knew how Cappie would react and I didn't want him beating you to a pulp in my parent's house."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Richard answered, still trying to play the victim. When it became apparent that neither Casey nor Rusty were buying his act, his shoulders dropped and he took another step backwards. "I simply asked him what any concerned husband would ask a man that had moved into his house behind his back."

Casey felt her insides clench. She could already imagine the conversation that transpired now that she was getting the whole story.

"What he said," Rusty interjected, apparently wanting Casey to know exactly how bad her ex-husband's behavior had been, "was, 'I see you've gotten your hooks into my son, are you fucking my wife as well'."

Now she understood the look on Cappie's face. She understood it because she was positive it was the same look on hers. She was even more sure of the look when Rusty stepped in front of her. She barely processed his presence around the blind rage now consuming her.

She stepped forward and Rusty moved with her, keeping himself between the two of them as if were acting as a buffer. She stepped around him like he wasn't there and brought herself well within arm's reach of Richard. Rusty stepped forward again but she held out her hand telling him to back off.

She opened her mouth to speak, ready to lay into him with some jab or insult but the look he was giving her said he wasn't even the least bit bothered by her, not concerned, not scared, not even a touch worried. And he was right. What could her words possibly do to him? He didn't care. And for any jab or insult to matter, the person on the receiving end had to care about what you had to say. So she did the only thing she could think of, the only thing that might make him care.

She drew her hand back and slapped him hard enough that it caused her palm to tingle and burn. When he whipped his head back around to her she noted that there was a trickle of blood oozing from his lip and it gave her no small pleasure to see it.

His eyes were seething in anger as he stared at her, but Rusty had already moved forward, placing himself well within reach to stop him if he decided to retaliate. And somehow without her even realizing he had joined the scene, her father stepped up on her other side.

"I'm not sure what's happening here," he said after clearing his throat to make sure everyone was paying attention to him. "But I think maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Richard took his eyes off her for a moment to glance at her father. Then he returned them to her. "So you've managed to get him on your boyfriend's side as well?" he spat with more than a little disgust in his tone.

Her father's hand came up and landed on Richard's shoulder, and though Casey could see there was no force behind the gesture, Richard took the hint and stepped back a pace. "I'm on Casey's side and she obviously doesn't want you here."

Rusty took a step towards him as well, doing his best to puff out his chest and look intimidating, which on her scrawny, lanky brother looked more comical than scary. "I'm on Casey's side, too. It's time for you go," he said.

"I thought we were determined to make everyone happy this weekend. Wasn't that the plan?" Richard asked, with another step back which actually brought his back into contact with the wall behind him, leaving him no more room for retreat.

"I don't think brawling in the halls will make my wife happy," Russell Cartwright pointed out.

He was still staring her down, still trying to be as imposing as he could with her two champions flanking him like they were and the effect lost some of its power because of their presence. Normally, she was alone when she had to face him like this. Normally, there were no stalwarts ready to jump in and defend her and she admitted to herself that something about Richard had always caused her to be cautious in these situations. There was a dangerousness to him, something under the classy, well put together surface that spoke of an untapped violence that she'd never wanted to push into awakening.

In all honesty, she let him get away with hurting her so often because she was scared of him, scared of what he might do if she pushed him too far.

Now, as he stood there, backed against the wall and looking just a little afraid himself, all that power shifted to her shoulders and it was exhilarating. He'd been backing her down for years, using that touch of fear she had of him to coerce her into compliance. And despite the fact that she could still see that unstable threat bubbling across the surface of his eyes, she wasn't as frightened by him as she typically was. The fear wasn't sitting in the pit of her stomach like a lead weigh pushing her to back away, to retreat before things got ugly.

If things got ugly this time, it would him that was in jeopardy, not her and she took a minute to just enjoy that feeling. After so many years of fearing him, she deserved it.

Finally, when she realized that everyone, Richard included, was looking at her, ready to take their cue from her, she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at him. "Get out of my parent's house, Richard. Leave. Tonight. Anything else you have to say to me, you can say to my lawyer."

He started to take a step forward, his body even jerked in her direction before he had a chance to check himself and realize what a mistake that would be.

Then his eyes caught on something behind her and she didn't even have to turn around to know that Cappie had joined the fight as well. She felt him step up behind her and the moment he did, she felt even more empowered, more resolved.

She took her eyes off of Richard for only a moment, long enough to glance around at Adam's door to see if he was there as well.

"He's asleep," Cappie assured her, seeing the gesture. Then he turned his attention to Richard. "Are we going to have a problem here, or are you going to do what these nice people have asked, and leave?"

Richard bristled visibly and for a moment Casey thought Cappie was going to step in between them and carryout his unspoken threat of violence.

She really didn't want that. She didn't want things to escalate to that level. "Just go, Richard. You can't win this. You aren't welcome here."

Richard's eyes darted from her, to Cappie, to her father, then to Rusty and he seemed to realize the truth of her words. He stepped gingerly around her father and made his way towards the stairs. Everyone watched him until he disappeared from their view.

Casey felt her shoulders sag and her entire body deflate the moment he was gone. "Mom is going to be so pissed at me," she mumbled.

Russell took her hand and squeezed it. "I'll handle your mother."

"Damn it," she said as another thought occurred to her. "What about Adam? He isn't going to understand why Richard isn't here tomorrow."

"Adam's a smart boy. I think it's time you had a talk with him about all this," her father suggested. "It won't be easy. But lying to him isn't the answer."

Her eyes found Cappie's as she thought about the real truth behind those words. But how did she even go about explaining the situation to a five year old?

"Did I say something wrong?" Russell asked when Casey and Cappie just continued to stare at each other.

Rusty stepped between them and took his father by the shoulder. "I think maybe a cup of cocoa would be good. I'll explain everything. Besides we should go and make sure Richard doesn't get lost on his way out the door."

"Call me if you need me," Cappie called after them. "I really want a reason to hit that guy."

"I think he's too smart to let it come to that, but we'll let you know," Russell said, as they went off down the stairs.

"Speaking of hitting that guy, are you responsible for that lip?" he asked once they were out of sight.

She felt her checks redden and she blinked at him sheepishly. "He had it coming," she answered quietly.

"Remind me not to piss you off," he chuckled as he took her hand and started towards the stairs that lead to the attic.

She paused outside of Adam's room long enough to stick her head inside and see for herself that he was all tucked in and sleeping peacefully.

"I barely got through two pages before he was out," Cappie said from over her shoulder as he looked in as well.

"He's had a big day," she replied, shutting the door soundlessly.

"So have I," Cappie muttered with a tired sigh as they began their ascent up the stairs. "So have I."


	16. Chapter 16

Cappie sat down on the bed he had chosen as his own and watched as Casey made her way to the other and sat gingerly on its edge. With her palms resting on her knees and her shoulders tense and rigid, she looked as if she were frightened out of her mind. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why. Was she scared of him?

"So," she began in an uncertain, almost timid voice and the sound went right through him. He hated it, hated the lack of confidence that was written on a face that had always exuded confidence when he'd known her better.

Unable to stop himself, he moved to the other bed and settled himself close enough to her they were touching. "So," he repeated with a gentle easy smile, one he hoped was full of reassurance.

She blinked at him for a long moment as if she were trying to read something on his face. She looked confused when obviously what she was searching for wasn't there. "You aren't mad?" she asked as if she simply didn't understand why not.

"What am I supposed to be mad about?" he said, moving just a touch closer to her.

She shifted, clearly unsure of how to proceed. "I thought you'd be upset about Adam. I should have known. I should have seen the signs. I'm so sorry. If I had known, I would have told you. You have to believe that."

"I already told you, I do. I know you didn't do any of this on purpose. I'm not mad at you, Case. I have no reason to be," he assured her.

"You have every reason to be mad," she argued.

He moved closer to her still, nearly, but not quite pulling her into his chest. "Well, I don't agree and it's my call. I'm not angry. I don't want to be angry. Can we just move on?"

"Move on to what?" she asked, turning towards him sharply. "Where exactly do we go from here?"

He sat there looking at her for a while not saying anything. "I don't know. Where do you want to go from here?"

She looked away finding a place on the floor to stare at and used her tongue to wet her lips nervously. "I'm not sure."

"You're not sure what you want? Since when?" he asked, with a chuckle. He tried to meet her eyes, but she steadfastly refused to look up and even shifted uncomfortably when he tried to insist. "See, now I am angry." Her eyes flew to his, widened in surprise and maybe even a little fear. "Not at you. I'm angry at whatever happened to change you this much. This isn't like you, Casey. You've never been afraid to say what you were thinking before."

"I don't hear you telling me what's on your mind either? Maybe both of us have changed too much," she said quietly.

He got to his feet quickly, suddenly feeling the need to move. Stepping around her, he began to pace in the small space at the foot of the two beds as he ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, I can accept that we've both changed. This isn't easy. Neither of us wants to be the one to say it. What I don't understand is why not. I think we're both thinking the same thing here."

She had gotten up and moved to him without him even noticing and now she was right behind him with her small hand on his shoulder and her body close enough to his that he could feel the warmth of it. "Then I'll be the one to say it first," she said and he turned to face her. "I love you. I've never stopped loving you and what I want more than anything else in the world is for you to be part of my life again, part of Adam's life."

He grabbed her instantly, hauling her against his chest and holding her there as he looked down into her face. "I love you, too, Casey. And that's exactly what I want."

His lips captured hers with the old familiar passion that always erupted between them when they were close. Her hand cupped his face, cradling it in her palm, caressing his jaw and her touch was like pure ecstasy against his skin.

He groaned into her when her other hand found the buttons of his shirt and started going to work on them.

He moved his lips from her mouth down along the column of her neck and she shuddered in his arms. Then gave a little whimper when his hand came into contact with the bare skin of her stomach.

"Rusty," she breathed against his ear.

He chuckled with his lips against her throat and she shuddered again. "No, I'm Cappie and just let me take a moment to say hearing you say his name like that is disgusting. Really Case, it's okay to love your brother, but you really shouldn't LOVE your brother."

She was laughing with him when she batted his shoulder and pulled out of his arms. "I meant that Rusty will be coming to bed any minute and you are his roommate. Maybe this should wait."

He nodded in understanding. "Oh, that makes much more sense."

He pulled her back and went right back to nuzzling her neck, completely ignoring her halfhearted protests. "Maybe we should go to your room then."

"I'm sharing the room with Adam," she argued.

He let her go and stepped away with a curse under his breath.

"I know," she smiled understandingly. "I'm sorry." Then suddenly her face lit up and her smile brightened.

"I'll be right back," she told him after placing a quick kiss to his lips. And she was gone.

Cappie flopped down on the bed and shoved his hands in his pockets as he let his mind play over the day's events. He was still trying to take it all in. Adam was his son. Casey still loved him. He couldn't help feeling like he was getting everything he'd always wanted. But then again, he always felt like he was getting everything he'd always wanted when he was holding her. How he'd gotten through the last five years without her was beyond him. Now he was determined to never have to be without her again.

He heard her footsteps on the stairs leading to the attic a few minutes before she appeared in the doorway. She didn't come to him immediately, but instead just stood there watching him for a hand full of heartbeats.

Then, very slowly she came to the bed where he was lying and leaned over him to deliver a kiss to his lips. He wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly to him as her tongue snaked in between his teeth and delved into the dark recesses of his mouth.

When she pulled away she was smiling. "We have the room all to ourselves tonight. Rusty is going to stay with Adam."

He beamed a smile back at her as his fingers went to running through her hair. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that." He told her.

Her hand moved down the length of his chest, fingers splayed as she caressed him through his shirt. "Oh, I think I do."

Gathering her to him, he pulled her down to the bed and kissed her again. "Let me show you," he whispered against the column of her throat and she groaned in agreement.

.

.

.

Morning came with the singing of birds and a general bustle from the downstairs portion of the house. Cappie blinked slowly as he came awake and oriented himself to his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was that he was alone. Casey was nowhere in sight and he was more than a little disappointed by that. He had hoped to wake up with her in his arms. But he reconciled himself with the knowledge that he would have plenty of mornings to wake like that.

This was a new beginning, the start of the life he was meant to live since the day they met.

He got out of bed and dressed quickly in a pair of worn jeans and a blue t-shirt before heading downstairs to find his family.

He nearly stumbled as the thought occurred to him. His family. Casey and Adam and hopefully, one day Emily, as well.

Before he left the bedroom, he went to his suitcase and dug into the bottom of its depth. There was something there he'd been holding on to since college and he didn't want to wait any longer to use it.

He found them in the kitchen. Adam was sitting on his knees on one of the bar stools, looking over the island that was covered in food. Powdered sugar from the donut he was consuming covered his little face and his hands were coated in chocolate and sprinkles. Casey was at the stove with her mother, both women stirring something in steaming pots that wafted a heavenly aroma throughout the space.

He stood in the doorway watching them both until Rusty looked up from his spot beside Cappie's son and smiled at him around the rim of his coffee cup. "We were just about to come get you," he said.

Adam glanced up to see who his uncle was talking to and let out a squeal as he tried to clamor down from the stool. Cappie crossed to him in two strides and helped steady his decent. "Are you ready to watch the parade? It's starting soon," he asked excitedly.

Cappie scooped the boy up and took him to the sink to remove the remains of breakfast from his face and hands. "I'll be right there." He told him as Adam screwed up his face in response to having it washed. "Let me grab some coffee." Then he set him down on the floor and held him with a hand on his shoulder. "What does your Mommy always say?"

The little boy thought about that for a minute before his face lit up with an answer. "Don't run in the house."

Cappie nodded with a smile. "Right, don't run in the house."

"You'll be right there?" he asked and waited for Cappie's confirmation before taking off towards the living room with steps quick enough they begged to break out into a full on run.

Casey was beside him the second Adam was out of his arms. She watched the exchange with a loving smirk. "Good morning," she said once she had him to herself and slid her arms around his neck.

Cappie glanced over her shoulder at her mother still standing at the stove and wondered whether this display of affection was the best idea, but Casey caught his look and waved him off. "Everything is fine. We had a long talk this morning," she whispered in his ear.

"You still take it the way you used to?" Rusty asked from the coffee maker where he was pouring the steaming dark liquid into a speckled tan mug. When Cappie nodded, he added the cream and sugar to it before handing it to him.

He had to let Casey go in order to take it, but he set it quickly aside and brought her back into his arms before she could get away. "You left without saying goodbye this morning," he whispered back to her.

"You promised to look after Adam this morning while we cook. I figured I'd let you get all the rest you could, especially since I've hyped him up on donuts for you."

He chuckled. "You really are an evil minx. Don't think I won't be returning the favor for first chance I get."

She kissed him before pulling out of his arms. "I'm sure you will. That's why I decided to strike first. Now, go watch the parade," She paused to lean in close enough that only he could hear her add, "with your son."

"Alright, you stay right here in the kitchen where you belong, woman and make me dinner," he teased, then grabbed his cup and ran from the room before she had a chance to reply with Rusty hot on his heels.

It was well after all the festivities were behind them, all the dishes washed and put away and all the guests tucked into a turkey induced state of euphoria when Casey suggested they take Adam for a walk. He'd asked about Richard several times during the day and she had artfully dodged the questions, but the look on her face said it was now time to have a talk.

Cappie bundled him up before taking his hand and leading him outside to the porch to wait for Casey to retrieve her own coat.

"I had so much fun this morning." Adam beamed at him as he bound up the steps then back down them several times in session. "Will you watch the parade with me again next year?"

They'd spent the morning alternating between watching the massive balloon strolling down the streets of New York and wrestling on the rug in front of the fire. Rusty had joined in a few times while Russel sat in his recliner and egged them on. Cappie couldn't remember ever enjoying a Thanksgiving morning more.

"I'll tell you what, next year, I'm going to try to take you to the parade and if that doesn't work out, I'll be happy to watch it with you. In fact, I think we should promise to watch the parade together from now on," he suggested.

Adam stopped jogging up the steps and turned to look at him with wide eyes. "From now till forever?"

Cappie laughed and nodded. "From now till forever."

"You mean you'll be here from now till forever?" he asked taking a tentative step towards him.

Cappie reached out and scooped him up. "I'm going to do whatever I can to be here from now till forever, if its okay with you."

His little arms circled Cappie's neck and he buried his face in his heavy denim jacket. "I want you stay always."

Casey stepped out the front door in that moment and Cappie thought he caught a glint of tears in her eyes as she watched the scene playing out before her. She gave him a smile when he caught her gaze and stepped forward to take Adam out of his arms.

Then she set him down and took his hand. "Let go for a walk," she said, "We need to talk about your daddy."

"Is he coming back?" he asked, quietly. His whole demeanor changed as he sensed his mother had something important to say.

"No, Sweetie. I don't think he's coming back. Actually, I think it'll be a while before you see him again."

There was definitely tears in his eyes and he took his hand from Cappie's and wiped at them forcefully. "He always says he'll be here and then doesn't come. He said he'd teach me to play football tomorrow."

He had stopped walking and was now batting at his eyes repeatedly, not wanting to let the grownups see him crying.

Cappie bent to his knees in front of him and took hold of his hands in his. "How about I teach you to play football?" he offered.

"You will?" Adam asked, hopefully.

"I will and we can play against your mommy and Uncle Rusty and we'll beat their pants off."

Adam thought about that for a moment, a moment he spent chewing on his bottom lip. "Will you teach me to ride my bike without the little wheels?"

Cappie nodded. "I can do that, too. In fact, I'll teach you anything you want to learn."

"Anything?"

Casey threw him an unnecessary warning look. "As long as it won't get you hurt," he assured his son.

Adam pulled his hands free and turned to Casey. "Can Cappie stay with us till forever?"

Casey went to her knees and pulled him into a hug. "Cappie can stay with us as long as he wants to," she told him.

"I want Cappie to be my new daddy," Adam said as he pulled out of her arms and turned back to Cappie. "Will you?"

"Actually," Casey interjected as she stood back up. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

Adam turned back to her with confusion on his little face. "Your daddy and I aren't going to be married anymore. That doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means we won't be living together anymore."

"He isn't going to be living with us?"

"No, Sweetheart, he isn't," she confirmed.

"Will I still get to see him?"

"I don't know," she answered, cursing Richard silently for putting the little boy through this. "I don't think so, Baby."

The tears were back and the little hands batted at them again. "Is Cappie going to live with us instead?"

Cappie reached out and pulled the boy into him. "I am and you don't have to worry about me leaving. I'll be here as long as you'll let me stay."

"Are you going to be married to Mommy now that she's not going to be married to Daddy anymore?"

Casey took a step forward, ready to rescue him from having to answer the uncomfortable question. It wasn't anything they'd talked about, marriage, the future, any of it. "I think maybe we should go back inside where it's warm. It's starting to snow."

Cappie looked up at the sky with a smile of thanks for the added enhancement for what he hoped would be the perfect moment. Fat snowflakes floated lazily to the ground as he reached into his pocket for the object he'd been carrying around with him for so many years he barely remembered buying it anymore.

"Wait." He told her, stopping her from taking Adam away. He leaned in close to the little boy and whispered into his ear, low enough that she couldn't hear. When he received the enthusiastic nod of approve he'd hoped for, he popped open the small velvet box in his hand and gave it to Adam and helped him hold it up for her approval. "I know this is sudden, but when you think about it, it's been almost ten years in the making, so actually it's not that sudden at all. Marry me, Case. Marry me so we can be the family we were always supposed to be."


	17. Chapter 17

The cool breeze from the ocean blew across a palm tree and rattled it's massive branches while at the same time sending a bouquet of jasmine through the air. No one heard the noise over the music that Dave, (one of Cappie's frat brothers) and the band offered to the occasion. No one could smell the jasmine over the aromatic scents still wafting from the lusciously overflowing buffet of foods that the caterer had graced them with.

The cake, a gorgeous three tiered affair decorated with rich, red roses and beautiful vines of ivy, was mostly gone, hardly anything more than a handful of crumbs and many, many very happy guests. The champagne that had been flowing freely now merely trickled into the more enthusiastic drinkers glasses.

Vows, toasts, and all the best wishes had been offered, consumed and reiterated more times than anyone could count. Pictures were snapped. Tears were shed and dances danced.

Casey Cartwright London Jones tucked her head a little further into her husband's chest and let the music and good feeling of the still crowded dance floor lull her into the first chance she'd had to relax since the whole affair had begun.

"You know," Cappie began as he shifted his head far enough to lay a kiss to the top of hers. "They left hours ago. We can get out of here anytime you want."

She nodded perceptively and once again nuzzled even further into the crook of his shoulder. "I know. I just want to enjoy this for a little longer. All this was not easy. Seems like so much work for a few hours of happiness."

He chuckled. "Six months of planning for a few hours of partying and most of these people don't even realize how much trouble it all was."

"Rusty knows and so does Wendy. That's all that really matters," she said.

"Speaking of the bride and groom, I bet they are almost to the Caribbean by now." He leaned away from her and caught her eyes. "And we should be on our way to the airport, too. We do have a flight to catch as well."

"I guess you're right. I don't know about you, but I am looking forward to spending the next week in the sun working on my tan."

"I knew doing this second honeymoon after Rusty's wedding would be a good idea. You've been working too hard lately," he answered, moving his arm from her waist and taking her hand in his.

He lead her from the dance floor. They made it to the edge before two of his best friends caught his eye and he turned to her with a bright, enthusiastic smile. "Would you mind giving me a sec to say goodbye to Wade and Beaver?"

"Of course not," she smiled up at him before placing a kiss to his lips. "I'm going to let Mom and Dad know we're leaving and check one last time of Adam and Olivia."

She eased her hand from his and took off in search of her parents. She found them by the punch bowl with Adam at her mother's side and Olivia, her six month old daughter, in her father's arms.

"Don't you two need to catch a flight?" her father asked when she came up and took her daughter from him.

"We're leaving now. You're sure you'll be alright with them?" It was the hundredth time she'd asked. She was sure they were getting a little annoyed with the question, especially when her mother took the little girl back from her and rolled her eyes.  
"Casey, we've done this a few times. We'll be fine." She told her. Then she stepped closer and took her daughter in a hug. "It was a beautiful wedding. But I can't understand why we all had to fly to Florida just so they could get married and fly to the Caribbean."

"We all flew to Florida because it's where they live. Besides, it's beautiful here," she said.

Her father shifted. "It is that."

She turned towards beach and took a moment to look out over the blue waters. They couldn't have chosen a better venue. The wedding party had spent the last two days seeing everything there was to see of Cape Canaveral, Florida. It had very nearly taken an act of God to get Dale, the best man, out of the Kennedy Space Center long enough to attend the wedding. Wendy, the bride and one of the nicest people Casey had ever met, had offered up her beach side bar for the bachelorette party and the wedding reception. Everything had been perfect.

Almost as perfect as her own wedding, a year before, had been. Although nothing nearly as lavish and extravagant as all this, it had been perfectly suited to her and Cappie. A quiet affair with a handful of close friends and family in a ceremony that took place in her own backyard. She and Cappie had both already done the lavish extravagant thing. They didn't need it. The fact that they were finally getting married was enough without all the bells and whistles.

Cappie had disengaged from his friends and was heading in her direction. Adam met him before he got to them and Cappie scooped down to pick him up. He ruffled his son's hair, much to Casey's dismay since she'd spent nearly twenty minutes trying to tame the cowlick that was now sticking up wildly.

As soon as he was close enough, he put Adam back on his feet and wasted no time in removing Olivia from her mother's arms. It was a rare thing to see Cappie without the little girl. He doted on both his children to the point that they were hopelessly ruined by spoilage.

"Should we go?" he asked when he finally took his attention from his daughter and gave it to Casey.

"We should," she agreed. "Are you sure you're going to make it a week without them?"

"No," He shook his head. "But I have a phone full of pictures. Olivia swore she wouldn't do anything new or overly cute while we're gone and they promise to call me everyday, right?" he asked Adam who was still bouncing around his legs.

"I promise. I'm going to call three times a day," he announced. "And you're going to bring me back something cool, right?"

"Something so cool!" Cappie agreed.

Casey bent and pull her son in for a hug. "Promise me you'll be good. Help your Grandma and Grandpa with Olivia."

"I will. I got this, Mom. It's no problem," he assured her.

Casey chuckled, stood and rolled her eyes at her husband all at the same time. "He spends too much time with you."

Cappie was in the middle of high-fiving his son and missed the eye roll. He handed his daughter back to her Grandmother after kissing her forehead. Casey leaned in to do the same before taking his hand.

Casey walked away with her hand in Cappie's and a sense that, for the first time in her life, everything was right with the world.


End file.
